There’s a thin line between being genuinely friendly and being fake. It all comes down to recognizing the signs.
Sometimes, you can’t help but feel that someone isn’t as trustworthy as they seem. That feeling usually isn’t baseless. Often, our instincts pick up on subtle behaviors that signal deceit.
Understanding these behaviors can help you distinguish between a genuine person, and someone who’s not so trustworthy. As you continue reading, I’ll reveal the 10 subtle behaviors that may indicate someone isn’t as credible as they appear.
Let’s get started.
1) They’re overly secretive
In the realm of trust, secrecy is a big red flag. It’s normal for people to have their own private matters, but when someone is overly secretive about everyday details, it’s a cause for concern.
People who are not trustworthy often hide information, not because it’s personal, but because it can be used against them or reveal their true intentions. They may avoid answering direct questions or quickly change the topic when uncomfortable subjects arise.
This kind of behavior makes it hard to build a solid foundation of trust. After all, trust is built on honesty and transparency.
If you find someone being excessively secretive, tread carefully. It could be that they’re hiding something more than just their favorite pizza topping. Remember, everyone has a right to privacy, but excessive secrecy is a different game altogether.
2) They break promises frequently
We’ve all had that one friend who constantly makes promises they can’t keep. In my case, it was my old college buddy, Sam.
Sam was always full of big plans and exciting promises. Whether it was planning an epic road trip or promising to help with a difficult assignment, he seemed to have all the right intentions. But more often than not, these plans ended up falling through.
At first, I brushed it off as him being forgetful or just overly enthusiastic. But as time went on, I realized it was a pattern. Sam frequently made promises he didn’t keep.
This kind of behavior can be a clear sign of someone who isn’t trustworthy. If they can’t keep their word on small things, how can you trust them with the big stuff?
If someone in your life is continuously breaking their promises, think twice before placing your trust in them.
3) Their body language doesn’t match their words
It’s said that more than half of our communication is non-verbal. That means while we listen to someone’s words, we’re also subconsciously picking up on their body language. And it’s in these silent signals that the truth often hides.
People who are not trustworthy may say one thing, but their body language can tell a different story. For example, they may tell you they agree with you, but their crossed arms and avoidance of eye contact might suggest they’re actually not in agreement.
When words and actions don’t align, it’s a strong sign that something isn’t right. Trustworthy people tend to be consistent in what they say and how they behave.
4) They consistently avoid responsibility
There’s something to be said for people who own up to their mistakes. It shows integrity, maturity, and, you guessed it – trustworthiness. On the flip side, people who habitually avoid taking responsibility for their actions can be hard to trust.
We’ve all made mistakes or failed at something. It’s a part of life. But when someone continuously blames others for their failures, or always has an excuse ready for their shortcomings, it’s a worrying sign.
It shows a lack of accountability, which is a key component of trust. After all, if someone isn’t willing to accept their own faults, how can you trust them to be honest or reliable in other areas?
If someone is always playing the blame game or dodging responsibility, take it as a sign. It could mean they’re not as trustworthy as you’d like them to be.
5) They’re quick to gossip
We all know that one person who can’t wait to spill the latest gossip. But did you ever stop to think about what it implies about their trustworthiness?
Sharing confidential information or spreading rumors about others shows a lack of respect for privacy. If they’re willing to talk about others behind their backs, who’s to say they won’t do the same to you?
Furthermore, gossiping can be a way for untrustworthy people to manipulate others or create divisions. It’s a tactic that sows discord and often does more harm than good.
If you notice someone constantly engaging in gossip, it’s a strong indication that they may not be the most trustworthy person.
6) They lack empathy
Trustworthiness extends beyond just honesty and reliability. It’s also about empathy and understanding. We tend to trust those who show genuine care for our feelings and experiences.
However, when someone lacks empathy, it’s hard to build a deep level of trust with them. If they dismiss your feelings, or fail to understand your perspective, they’re showing a disregard for your emotional well-being.
This lack of empathy can cause emotional harm and erode trust over time. It’s difficult to confide in someone or rely on them if they can’t understand or validate your feelings.
If you find yourself dealing with someone who lacks empathy, take it as a sign. It could be that they’re not as trustworthy as they may seem. After all, true trust goes hand in hand with emotional understanding and support.
7) They’re inconsistent
I remember a colleague from a previous job who was incredibly unpredictable. One day, he would go above and beyond to deliver his work, and the next, he would barely meet the minimum requirements. His behavior towards others was just as inconsistent, swinging between overly friendly to downright rude.
This inconsistency made it hard to trust him. You never knew which version of him you were going to get on any given day. It was like walking on eggshells, constantly trying to gauge his mood or predict his performance.
Inconsistency in behavior is a clear sign of untrustworthiness. It creates an unstable environment and makes it difficult to rely on the person.
If you encounter someone whose actions and behaviors frequently fluctuate without explanation, be cautious. It might be a hint that they’re not as trustworthy as you’d hope.
8) They’re overly charming
At first glance, charm might seem like a positive trait. After all, who doesn’t enjoy the company of someone charismatic and engaging? However, excessive charm can sometimes mask a hidden agenda.
Some people use their charm to manipulate others or to draw attention away from their less appealing traits. They can be incredibly persuasive, using their charisma to win people over and gain their trust quickly.
But genuine trust takes time to build, and it’s based on more than just charm. It’s founded on honesty, consistency, and respect.
If someone seems to be laying the charm on a little too thick, too soon, it might be worth taking a closer look. Is their charm genuine, or is it part of a facade to hide their true intentions?
9) They rarely make eye contact
Eye contact is a crucial part of human communication. It indicates attentiveness, respect, and, importantly, honesty. When someone avoids making eye contact, it can often feel like they’re trying to hide something.
Now, it’s worth noting that not everyone is comfortable with direct eye contact, depending on cultural norms or personal preferences. But if someone persistently evades your gaze particularly during serious or heartfelt conversations, it can be a subtle sign of deceit.
Trustworthy people tend to maintain appropriate levels of eye contact. They aren’t afraid to meet your gaze because they have nothing to hide.
10) They lack respect for boundaries
The foundation of trust is respect, and a big part of that is respecting boundaries. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or digital, boundaries are set for a reason, and they’re essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
When someone disregards your boundaries, it’s a blatant sign of disrespect. It shows that they prioritize their own needs or wants over your comfort and safety. This behavior can quickly erode trust and harm the relationship.
Trustworthy people understand the importance of boundaries and respect them. They know that maintaining these limits is crucial for mutual trust and understanding.
Final thoughts: Trust, an intricate dance
Trust is a delicate and complex entity, woven together by threads of honesty, reliability, empathy, and respect. It’s not something that can be easily earned or instantly granted. It takes time, consistency, and genuine effort to build.
When it comes to deciphering whether someone is trustworthy or not, there’s no foolproof method. It often requires keen observation, gut instinct, and a measure of wisdom. The subtle behaviors we’ve discussed here may serve as guiding signs on this journey of discernment.
Remember, everyone has the capacity to change and grow. While certain behaviors may indicate a lack of trustworthiness, they are not definitive labels. People can learn, evolve, and improve their actions over time.
So as you navigate the intricate dance of trust in your relationships, take these signs into account but also leave room for understanding and forgiveness. After all, we are all beautifully flawed humans trying to connect in a complicated world.
