There’s a big divide between being assertive and being aggressive.
The line is drawn at respect. An assertive man communicates his needs and wants without trampling on the rights of others. An aggressive man, however, disregards others and is often rude.
There are certain phrases that a man uses which can give away if he’s not a very nice person. It’s these phrases that can help you identify if a man is more on the aggressive side, rather than assertive.
Here are 10 phrases that, if used frequently by a man, are tell-tale signs he probably isn’t a very nice person.
1) You’re too sensitive
In the world of communication, there’s a fine line between being honest and being hurtful.
An assertive man understands this. He knows how to communicate his thoughts and feelings in a way that respects the feelings of others.
However, an aggressive man often crosses this line. He dismisses the feelings of others and invalidates their experiences.
A common phrase he uses? “You’re too sensitive.”
This phrase is often used by individuals who are not respectful of others’ feelings. It’s a way of shifting the blame from their own offensive actions or words to the person on the receiving end. It’s not about honesty; it’s about a disregard for others’ emotions.
When a man frequently uses this phrase, it’s often a sign that he isn’t very considerate or understanding, making him not a very nice person to be around.
2) I’m just being honest
There’s a stark difference between honesty and rudeness.
A man who often uses the phrase “I’m just being honest” after delivering a harsh or unkind comment is usually trying to justify his own rudeness. He’s using honesty as a shield to avoid taking responsibility for his hurtful words or actions.
Here’s a personal example. A friend of mine would often make sharp, critical comments about my ideas or decisions. When I’d express my hurt, he’d respond with, “I’m just being honest.” In time, I realized that he was using this phrase not to uphold truthfulness, but to avoid owning up to his own harshness.
True honesty doesn’t require constant defense. If a man frequently hides behind this phrase, it may be an indication that he isn’t as nice as he wants you to believe.
3) I don’t care
Empathy is a vital part of human connection. It’s our ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to put ourselves in their shoes. However, some people, especially those who lean more towards aggression than assertion, may lack this quality.
A phrase often used by such individuals is “I don’t care.” This communicates a lack of concern for others’ feelings, thoughts or well-being.
Research from the University of Michigan indicates that empathy levels in society have decreased significantly in the past 30 years, with the phrase “I don’t care” becoming increasingly common.
If a man uses this phrase frequently, it might indicate a lack of empathy, which often correlates with him not being a very nice person.
4) It’s all your fault
Accountability is a key trait in any individual. It’s the ability to acknowledge when you’ve made a mistake, apologize, and take steps to make it right.
However, some men avoid being accountable for their actions by laying the blame on others. A common phrase they use is “It’s all your fault.”
This phrase is a clear indication of someone refusing to take responsibility for their own actions and mistakes. By blaming others, they absolve themselves of any wrongdoing, which can be a sign of selfishness or arrogance.
5) Whatever
Communication is the key to understanding and resolving any issue. However, some individuals tend to avoid discussions and dismiss others’ opinions with a simple “Whatever”.
“Whatever” can be a dismissive phrase. When used frequently, it shows a lack of interest in what the other person is saying and a lack of respect for their opinion. It’s a way of shutting down communication, which is fundamental for any healthy relationship.
If a man often uses this phrase in conversations, particularly during disagreements, it may be a sign that he’s not a very considerate or respectful person.
6) You’re always wrong
Words have the power to build up or tear down. Affirming words can make someone feel loved, appreciated, and valued. Hurtful words, on the other hand, can deeply wound a person and damage their self-esteem.
A phrase that’s particularly damaging is “You’re always wrong”. It’s an absolute statement that can make a person feel inadequate, incompetent, and worthless. When a man frequently uses this phrase towards someone, it often reflects more on his character than the person he’s speaking to.
Such a phrase is used to belittle and demean, painting the picture of a man who probably isn’t very kind or considerate.
7) I don’t need anyone
We’re social creatures by nature. We thrive on companionship, understanding, and the connections we make with others. But there are those who push away these connections with phrases like “I don’t need anyone.”
During a difficult period in my life, a close friend began using this phrase frequently. It was his way of distancing himself, asserting his independence at the cost of our friendship. It became clear that he was choosing isolation over connection, and in doing so, was becoming less considerate and understanding.
This phrase can indicate a lack of willingness to connect with others, making a person less empathetic and therefore not very pleasant to be around. So keep an ear out for this one.
8) I’m the best
Confidence is an admirable trait. It’s attractive and can be infectious. However, there’s a difference between being confident and being arrogant.
A man who often proclaims, “I’m the best,” is veering towards arrogance. While it may seem like a positive affirmation of self-belief, it can also denote a lack of humility and an inflated ego.
People who frequently self-promote may lack empathy and have a higher likelihood of being manipulative and deceitful.
So, paradoxically, a man who constantly claims to be the best might not be the best person to be around.
9) It’s not a big deal
Emotionally intelligent people understand the importance of validating others’ feelings. They acknowledge and empathize with what others are going through.
However, a man who often says, “It’s not a big deal,” when someone shares their worries or concerns, is showing a lack of emotional intelligence. This phrase minimizes the feelings and experiences of others, which can be deeply hurtful.
It might seem like he’s trying to help by downplaying the issue, but in reality, he’s dismissing the feelings of the person sharing their concern.
This kind of dismissiveness is a sign that he might not be the most understanding or compassionate person to be around.
10) I don’t have time for this
At its core, respect is about valuing others and their time. A respectful person understands this and communicates in a way that shows their appreciation for the person they’re interacting with.
On the other hand, a man who frequently says, “I don’t have time for this,” is showing a lack of respect. This phrase suggests that he values his own time more than he values the person he’s speaking to.
It’s not just about being busy – it’s about prioritizing. If a man constantly uses this phrase, it indicates he may not be the most respectful or considerate person to be around.
