Respect is a difficult thing to earn and an easy thing to lose. According to psychology, what you choose to reveal about yourself can make or break that hard-earned respect.
Now, we all have our secrets, our quirks and nuances that make us uniquely us. But in the process of being authentic, there are certain things you might want to keep under wraps if you’re aiming for respect.
In comes the question of self-awareness. It’s about knowing what to reveal, and what not to reveal, in order to maintain that delicate balance between authenticity and respect.
So, let’s delve into the seven things you should never reveal about yourself if you aspire to be respected. A word of caution – it’s going to ask you for consistent growth and maturity. Are you up for the challenge?
1) Your deepest insecurities
We all have insecurities. They’re part of being human. However, it’s crucial to understand where to draw the line in revealing them.
Respect, to a considerable extent, is built on perceptions. When we reveal our deepest insecurities, we might come across as self-doubting or lacking confidence. This can influence how others perceive us and potentially diminish their respect for us.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should pretend to be someone you’re not. Authenticity is vital, but you need to balance it with a level of discretion about what you share.
As the renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” But remember, part of becoming who you truly are involves cultivating self-awareness and discretion in your interactions with others.
Strive for consistent growth in managing your insecurities. Showcase your strength and resilience while maintaining your authenticity — that’s the key to earning and maintaining respect.
2) Past mistakes you haven’t learned from
We’ve all made mistakes, and I’m no exception. A few years back, I botched up a crucial project at work due to a lack of attention to detail.
In the aftermath, I was quick to share my blunder with everyone in an attempt to appear transparent and accountable.
However, I soon realized that people started doubting my capabilities. My intentions were good, but my approach was flawed.
The issue wasn’t that I had revealed a mistake; it was that I hadn’t demonstrated any learning or growth from it.
It was only when I took steps to improve my attention to detail and shared these improvements with others that I began to regain the respect of my peers.
The key here is not about hiding your mistakes, but demonstrating how you’ve grown from them. That’s what earns respect – showing evidence of your personal growth and your commitment to doing better next time.
3) Unhealthy habits you’re not trying to change
Are you aware of your unhealthy habits? We all have them, and they often mirror our struggles and internal battles. Revealing these unchecked habits can sometimes paint a picture of indifference towards personal growth and health.
Let’s get real. I’m talking about those habits that we know are detrimental to our well-being, yet we choose to ignore. Maybe it’s excessive drinking, smoking, unhealthy eating, or procrastinating.
When you openly display these habits without showing an intent to change, it can impact how much respect you receive from others. They may perceive it as a lack of self-discipline or self-respect.
Sigmund Freud once said, “Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.” Acknowledging your unhealthy habits is the first step towards changing them.
When you show a genuine effort to transform these weaknesses into strengths, you command respect. It’s all about turning vulnerability into a journey of self-improvement and resilience.
4) Excessive self-promotion
No one likes a bragger. It’s great to be proud of our achievements, but excessively promoting ourselves can often backfire.
A study by researchers at Harvard University found that people who excessively self-promote often appear less competent and likable to others.
The participants in this study tended to overestimate how much their audience would appreciate their bragging, leading to a decrease in social status and respect.
I remember once working with a colleague who never missed an opportunity to highlight his achievements. Initially, we were all impressed.
But over time, as the self-promotion continued unabated without any acknowledgement of team efforts or other’s contributions, respect for him dwindled.
Remember, respect is earned through genuine interactions and mutual recognition of achievements, not through a monologue of self-praise.
A healthy dose of humility goes a long way in maintaining respect among peers.
5) Negative views about others
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where you’re tempted to share negative views about someone who isn’t present?
In my younger years, I was guilty of this. I thought it might make me seem more insightful or interesting. However, I soon noticed it was doing the opposite.
Sharing negative views about others, especially when they’re not there to defend themselves, can lead to a loss of respect. It can make you appear unkind, untrustworthy, or even bitter.
As the renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow put it, “When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail.”
If we are constantly criticizing others, it might be time to take a step back and analyze if we are projecting our insecurities or dissatisfaction onto them.
Earning respect requires kindness, integrity, and the ability to see the good in others. So next time you feel the urge to share negative views about someone, think twice.
It might be doing more harm than good to your own reputation.
6) Your every achievement
It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? We’re often told to celebrate our accomplishments and share our successes. But there’s a nuanced difference between sharing an achievement and sharing every achievement.
Constantly highlighting every single victory, no matter how small, can come off as boastful or even desperate for validation. This can, surprisingly, decrease the respect others have for you.
Remember Carl Rogers’ famous quote: “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
The essence of this quote lies in understanding that real achievement is personal growth and the ability to adapt, not the trophies on your shelf.
By all means, celebrate your successes. But also remember to highlight the journey, the learning, and the growth that came with it. That’s what truly inspires respect.
7) Personal drama
Life is full of ups and downs, but constantly airing personal drama can impact how others perceive and respect you.
As psychologist Viktor Frankl said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This holds true for our personal dramas. Instead of broadcasting them, focus on your growth and resilience.
Respect is earned through strength, maturity and the ability to handle life’s challenges with grace. Remember, everyone loves a comeback story.
Final thoughts
Navigating the delicate balance between authenticity and respect can be a challenging journey. It’s about understanding the difference between being open and oversharing, being proud and boasting, being vulnerable and being insecure.
At the heart of it all lies the key concepts of self-awareness, personal growth, and discretion. Recognize that respect isn’t about hiding your flaws but rather about demonstrating your resilience, your growth, and your ability to evolve.
As you reflect on these seven points, remember that respect is not a destination but a journey. It’s about continually striving to align who you are with how you want to be perceived.
In the end, earning respect is less about what you choose not to reveal and more about what you choose to embody – authenticity, growth, resilience, wisdom, and kindness.
