As we age, we naturally want to surround ourselves with positive influences. Yet, it’s not always that simple. We might encounter toxic individuals, who drain our energy and joy.
Dodging them isn’t about luck, it’s about behavior.
Indeed, there are certain habits which tend to attract these negative personas. Break these patterns, and you’re on your way to a healthier social circle.
In this piece, we will unravel these behaviors that need to be left behind if you want to steer clear of toxic people as you age.
So, buckle up and let’s dive right in.
1) Ignoring your intuition
Ever had that nagging sense of unease around someone, but you brushed it off?
That’s your intuition talking, and it’s time you started listening to it.
As we age, our intuition becomes sharper, more in-tune with people’s intentions. It’s our natural defense mechanism against toxicity and negativity. But sadly, we often choose to ignore it.
Maybe it’s because we don’t want to seem judgmental or because we believe in giving everyone a fair chance. Both are noble intentions but can lead us straight into the grips of toxic people.
The first behavior to say goodbye to is dismissing your gut feelings. If someone doesn’t feel right, chances are, they probably aren’t.
Listening to your intuition isn’t about judging others. It’s about protecting your peace of mind.
Believe me, it’s a game-changer.
2) Over-emphasizing the need to be nice
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a people-pleaser. I’d go out of my way to make others comfortable, even if it would sometimes cause me discomfort.
Over the years, I realized that this behavior was attracting toxic people. They saw my kindness as a weakness to be exploited, and they weren’t shy about taking advantage of it.
I once had a friend who would always rely on me for emotional support but was never there when I needed a shoulder. It was a one-sided relationship that drained me.
After I learned to establish boundaries and prioritize my own needs, things changed. This “friend” gradually faded away, along with other toxic individuals.
If you’re like me, always trying to be the nice guy or gal, it might be time to reassess. Remember, it’s okay to say “no” and put yourself first sometimes. It’s not being mean; it’s self-care.
3) Avoiding confrontations
Confrontations can be uncomfortable, no doubt. But avoiding them altogether can actually make you an easy target for toxic people.
Individuals who actively avoid conflicts are more likely to be manipulated and taken advantage of. This is because they often give in to the demands of others, just to avoid a potential argument or disagreement.
But standing up for yourself and expressing your feelings doesn’t equate to being aggressive or combative. It’s about setting boundaries and letting others know what you will and won’t tolerate.
Next time you sense something’s wrong, don’t shy away from addressing it. Your courage might just be the deterrent a toxic person needs to keep their distance.
4) Being overly self-critical
We all have moments of self-doubt and criticism. But when it becomes a constant habit, it can inadvertently attract toxic people into your life.
You see, toxic individuals thrive on making others feel inferior. They seek out those who are already hard on themselves because it makes their job easier.
If you’re frequently blaming yourself for everything, belittling your achievements, or always trying to meet impossible standards, you might be luring in these negative influences without even realizing it.
But the moment you start showing yourself compassion and celebrating your strengths, you’ll notice a shift in the kind of people you attract.
Those who respect and value you, rather than those who take pleasure in bringing you down.
So go easy on yourself. Remember that everyone has flaws and everyone makes mistakes. It’s what makes us human.
5) Tolerating disrespect
I’ve learned, rather painfully, that if you tolerate disrespect, it only invites more of the same. I used to let things slide, thinking it was better to maintain peace than to rock the boat.
But all I was doing was giving toxic people the green light to continue their behavior.
The moment you allow someone to belittle you, speak down to you, or treat you unfairly, it sets a precedent. It sends the message that it’s okay for them to treat you this way.
I had to learn this the hard way. But once I did, I made a promise to myself. No matter who it is – a friend, a colleague, a family member – if they disrespect me, I address it immediately.
It’s not about being confrontational; it’s about standing up for yourself and setting a standard for how you should be treated.
Because at the end of the day, how you allow others to treat you is reflective of how much respect you have for yourself.
6) Constantly seeking approval
Here’s something interesting. Seeking approval, something we often do to fit in, can actually make us more appealing to toxic people.
Why? Because it shows that we’re willing to change our behavior, our opinions, or even our identity just to be liked or accepted. And toxic individuals love this. It gives them the power to control and manipulate.
The truth is, you don’t need anyone’s approval to validate your worth. Your opinions matter. Your feelings are valid. You are enough, just as you are.
So, instead of bending over backwards to please others, start embracing your individuality. The moment you start valuing your own approval over others’, you’ll find that toxic people lose their grip on you.
7) Overlooking red flags
Sometimes, we see signs of toxicity in people but choose to overlook them. Maybe because we see the good in them, or we believe they’ll change.
But the truth is, red flags are usually indicators of deeper issues. If someone constantly belittles others, gossips, lies, or behaves selfishly, they’re showing you their true colors.
Ignoring these signs won’t make them go away. Instead, it might entangle you in a web of negativity and toxicity.
Learn to acknowledge and take red flags seriously. It’s not about being judgmental; it’s about being wise and protecting your peace of mind.
8) Not setting boundaries
This is perhaps the most crucial of all – setting boundaries. Neglecting to do so is like leaving your front door wide open for toxic people to walk right in.
Boundaries are your personal rules of engagement. They tell others what you find acceptable and what you don’t. When you establish clear boundaries, you create a protective barrier between yourself and potential toxicity.
It might be uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re not used to standing up for yourself. But remember, your well-being is a priority. It’s okay to distance yourself from people who consistently cross your boundaries.
Start today. Define your limits and communicate them assertively. It’s your right and it’s an effective safeguard against toxicity.
Reflecting on the journey
As you navigate through this complex journey called life, it’s important to remember that you have the power to shape your own experiences.
By letting go of these behaviors, you’re not just avoiding toxic individuals, but you’re also paving the way for healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Remember, it’s not about building an impenetrable fortress around yourself. It’s about understanding your worth, asserting your boundaries, and creating space for positivity and growth.
It’s about recognizing that while you cannot control other people’s actions or attitudes, you can control how you respond to them. And in doing so, you’ll find that the world becomes a little less daunting, a little more inviting.
So here’s to letting go of old behaviors and embracing a future free from toxicity. Because at the end of the day, your peace of mind is priceless. And that’s something worth striving for.
