Building Relationships Organically – Part 2

  • 1 min read

Step 1: Connect

We started this series last week by exploring the concept of building relationships organically, the natural way nearly all of us follow when we aren’t trying so hard to get something.

Without thinking about it, we do go through an instinctive process of connecting, conversing and converting. We connect with the people around us at work, at school, in our community. We converse with them, learn who they are and share something about ourselves. And then through conversation over time, the interaction converts into friendship.

You don’t have to change how you relate to people to network successfully if you just tap into your natural instincts with this natural process.

This week, we cover the Connect step in more detail. How can you connect more organically, without the uncomfortable feeling that you’re forcing yourself on others?

You already know people3247541537_e726357472

A big part of the solution is to connect more deeply with more people who are already around you, those involved in the same activities, interested in the same issues, or pursuing the same goals. When you already share a common purpose with someone, the rest of the process of conversation and conversion flow more easily.

Here are some things you can do to increase the number and improve the quality of your organic relationships.

Increase and improve

Make a list. Identify people around you whom you should get to know. For example, people in other departments, those whose work is linked to yours, where more cooperation and an open line of communication can help both of you do your jobs better. Learn more about the interdependencies and brainstorm ways to better support one another.985725985_2283d4dc28

Be inclusive. Rather than eat lunch every day with your usual cohort of colleagues, or hang out with the same three people for every meal at a multi-day conference, invite others to join you. Explore the circumstances that brought you to the same place and you may discover common goals and values on which to build meaningful and productive relationships.

Don’t go it alone. Get involved in things that interest you but do them with other people. In the book Bowling Alone, Robert D. Putnam chronicled that the percentage of Americans joining organized groups—whether they be sports leagues, professional associations, political committees, etc.—has declined dramatically over the last 30-40 years.

3570089962_2786e7ecd6Yet, when we share experiences with others, we can’t help but grow closer. You might really enjoy your independence, but mixing it up every once in a while and doing the same activity in a group environment is an easy way to build relationships organically.

Take advantage of whatever environments you’re in to bond with the people around you. Effortless relationships are all around us, ready to be made, if we just open the gates.

Stay tuned next week for more detail on Step 2: Converse.

Author:

Liz Lynch is founder of the Center for Networking Excellence and author of Smart Networking: Attract a Following In Person and Online (McGraw-Hill, 2008). Connect with Liz on Twitter at @liz_lynch and get your free Smart Networking Toolkit at http://www.SmartNetworking.com.

Picture of Liz Lynch

Liz Lynch

Liz is author of Smart Networking: Attract a Following In Person and Online (McGraw-Hill, 2009) and a sought-after speaker who brings a practical and insightful perspective to networking that has connected with a global audience. Her printed and audio products have sold on six continents, she’s been invited to speak at conferences and organizations around the world, and her writings have been translated into multiple languages. Liz is also founder of the Center for Networking Excellence, a company that develops products, programs and seminars to help entrepreneurs and professionals get clients, build their businesses, and accelerate their careers through networking.

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

I’m 73 and I overheard a woman at the pharmacy tell her friend “at least he has his health” about some man she knew and I wanted to tap her shoulder and say health without purpose is just a body with nowhere to send it and I would know because I’ve been healthy and useless for four years and no one has sent me a card for either

I’m 73 and I overheard a woman at the pharmacy tell her friend “at least he has his health” about some man she knew and I wanted to tap her shoulder and say health without purpose is just a body with nowhere to send it and I would know because I’ve been healthy and useless for four years and no one has sent me a card for either

Global English Editing
The rarest form of discipline isn’t the ability to push through discomfort – it’s the ability to stop doing something that’s no longer serving you even when everyone else expects you to keep going

The rarest form of discipline isn’t the ability to push through discomfort – it’s the ability to stop doing something that’s no longer serving you even when everyone else expects you to keep going

Global English Editing
People who raised their children to be independent and then got exactly what they asked for are experiencing the most underrated grief of the modern era — because the success of their parenting is measured by how completely their children don’t need them and nobody warned them that the reward for doing it right would feel identical to being left behind

People who raised their children to be independent and then got exactly what they asked for are experiencing the most underrated grief of the modern era — because the success of their parenting is measured by how completely their children don’t need them and nobody warned them that the reward for doing it right would feel identical to being left behind

Global English Editing
Psychologists claim men who seem emotionally distant but are actually deeply unhappy aren’t choosing detachment — they’re protecting everyone around them from the weight of feelings they were taught would make them a burden

Psychologists claim men who seem emotionally distant but are actually deeply unhappy aren’t choosing detachment — they’re protecting everyone around them from the weight of feelings they were taught would make them a burden

Global English Editing
Research suggests people over 60 who need a glass of wine every evening to relax haven’t developed a drinking problem — they’ve lost every other decompression tool they once had and the wine filled a vacuum that used to be occupied by friendships and purpose and a reason to be tired that actually meant something

Research suggests people over 60 who need a glass of wine every evening to relax haven’t developed a drinking problem — they’ve lost every other decompression tool they once had and the wine filled a vacuum that used to be occupied by friendships and purpose and a reason to be tired that actually meant something

Global English Editing
I’ve been rehearsing a conversation with my forty-seven-year-old son for eleven years — the one where I tell him that his father didn’t leave because of work, he left because I asked him to — and every Thanksgiving I almost say it and every Thanksgiving I decide he’s not ready and I’m starting to wonder if the person who’s not ready is me

I’ve been rehearsing a conversation with my forty-seven-year-old son for eleven years — the one where I tell him that his father didn’t leave because of work, he left because I asked him to — and every Thanksgiving I almost say it and every Thanksgiving I decide he’s not ready and I’m starting to wonder if the person who’s not ready is me

Global English Editing
Load more
CATEGORIES
Explore