8 signs you’re a truly good woman (according to psychology)

Everyone wants to be a good person, but let’s be honest—what does that actually mean? Is it about being polite? Generous? Never losing your temper in traffic?

Psychology tells us that being a truly good woman isn’t just about smiling at strangers or always doing the “right” thing.

It’s something deeper—how you treat people when no one’s watching, how you handle your own growth, and how you show up in the world authentically.

Some of the signs might surprise you. Some might already sound like you. Either way, let’s get into it—eight signs that show you’re a truly good woman, backed by psychology.

1) You show empathy

One of the standout traits of a truly good woman, as highlighted by psychology, is empathy.

Empathy isn’t the same as just feeling sorry for someone. It means understanding their perspective, their feelings, and their challenges.

A good woman can sense when someone is hurting or struggling. She doesn’t dismiss these feelings or overlook them. Instead, she acknowledges them and offers her support.

This isn’t always about providing solutions or fixing problems. Sometimes, it’s just about being there, listening, and showing that you care.

Empathy allows us to connect with others on a deeper level. And this connection is what makes us human. It’s what makes us good.

So if you find yourself naturally leaning towards empathy, that’s a clear sign you’re a genuinely good woman.

2) You practice kindness, even when it’s hard

There’s a saying that goes, “Being kind to someone who is kind to you is easy. Being kind to someone who is unkind to you, that’s character.” As a woman striving to be truly good, this holds weight.

For example, I remember a time at work when a colleague was particularly harsh. She seemed to have an issue with everyone and everything, and I found myself on the receiving end of her negativity more than once.

It would have been easy to respond with the same negativity or to distance myself from her completely. But I chose a different path. I chose kindness.

I made an effort to greet her warmly every morning, to ask about her weekend, and to offer my help when she seemed overwhelmed. It wasn’t easy, but it felt right.

Over time, I noticed a change in her attitude – not just towards me, but towards everyone in the office. She became more pleasant and less confrontational.

And while I can’t claim full credit for her transformation, I know that my consistent kindness played a part.

3) You’re not afraid of showing vulnerability

Vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness. But in reality, it’s a sign of strength.

Brené Brown, a renowned research professor at the University of Houston, spent years studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. Her findings? Vulnerability is not just about fear and grief; it’s the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable means opening up about your feelings and emotions. It’s about admitting when you’re wrong or when you don’t know something. It’s accepting that you’re not perfect and being okay with it.

A truly good woman understands that being vulnerable is part of being human. She’s not afraid to show her authentic self, even if it means revealing her flaws and insecurities.

So if you find yourself embracing vulnerability rather than shying away from it, that’s a clear sign you’re on the right path. It shows you’re authentic, courageous, and yes, truly good.

4) You respect boundaries

Whether it’s your own boundaries or those of others, understanding and respecting boundaries is a vital trait of a truly good woman.

Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and a healthy sense of self. They help us define who we are and what we need. They also help us respect the individuality and needs of others.

Respecting boundaries means acknowledging that everyone has a right to their own space, time, and feelings. It means understanding that ‘no’ means ‘no’, without taking it personally or trying to change the other person’s mind.

If you’re someone who can honor boundaries, even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable, that’s a sign of respect and empathy. It shows you value the well-being of others as much as you value your own, and in my book, that makes you a truly good woman.

5) You give without expecting anything in return

One of the most beautiful traits of a truly good woman is selflessness. It’s the ability to give without expecting anything in return.

It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts. It’s about those small acts of kindness that often go unnoticed – making a cup of tea for a family member, checking in on a friend who seems a bit down, giving up your seat for someone who needs it more.

These actions might seem insignificant, but they speak volumes about your character. They show that you value the happiness and well-being of others. You’re willing to put others before yourself, even when no one is watching.

I believe this is what true goodness is all about. It’s not about recognition or reward. It’s about the simple joy of making someone else’s day a little brighter.

6) You’re always striving to grow

Nobody is perfect. We all have areas in our lives where we can improve.

The key is to recognize these areas and actively work towards becoming better.

I remember a time when I realized I wasn’t as patient as I thought I was. It was during a stressful period at work, and I found myself snapping at my colleagues over minor issues. It dawned on me that this was not the person I wanted to be.

Instead of brushing it off, I took it as an opportunity for growth. I started practicing mindfulness, taking deep breaths when I felt my patience waning, and reminding myself to respond rather than react.

Striving for growth shows that you’re not complacent. You’re aware of your flaws, and you’re willing to put in the effort to become a better version of yourself.

7) You nurture positive relationships

The relationships we keep can often reflect the kind of person we are. If you find yourself surrounded by positive, uplifting people, it’s a good sign you’re doing something right.

Building and nurturing positive relationships requires effort. It means investing time in understanding the other person, supporting them in their endeavors, and being there for them in times of need.

But it’s not just about the other person. A truly good woman knows that a healthy relationship is a two-way street.

It involves both giving and receiving, understanding and being understood, supporting and being supported.

If you find that your relationships bring joy, mutual respect, and understanding, then you’re on the right track. Nurturing positive relationships is a clear sign of emotional intelligence and a key trait of a truly good woman.

8) You live authentically

At the heart of being a truly good woman is authenticity.

It means embracing who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. It’s aligning your actions with your values, and not being afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

Living authentically means you’re not swayed by societal pressures or expectations. You don’t pretend to be someone you’re not in order to fit in or please others.

Authenticity brings freedom. The freedom to be yourself, to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment, and to pursue your dreams without hesitation.

If you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am true to myself,” then you are indeed a truly good woman.

Final thoughts

I used to think being a good person meant never making mistakes—always saying the right thing, always being kind, always having it together.

But the truth? It’s displayed through showing up, growing, and choosing to be intentional even when it’s hard.

A truly good woman isn’t perfect. She’s just real. She owns her flaws, respects boundaries, and leads with empathy—not because she’s trying to impress anyone, but because it’s who she chooses to be.

And if that sounds like you? Then congratulations—you’re already on the right path. Not because you checked off every box, but because you care enough to try.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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