Have you ever woken up, gone through your daily routine, and realized by bedtime that nothing truly meaningful happened?
I’ve had clients come to me feeling like they’re stuck on a conveyor belt—same job, same relationships, same activities—without any real spark.
It’s an unsettling feeling. While occasional ruts are normal, there’s a difference between being in a short-lived slump and living day-to-day in a persistent fog.
If you’re reading this and thinking, That sounds painfully familiar, you’re not alone.
The good news is recognizing the signs that you might be in “existence mode” is the first step toward living more fully.
Let’s explore seven common indicators that you’re merely getting by rather than thriving.
Along the way, I’ll share insights I’ve gathered through counseling sessions, personal observations, and even the latest psychological research that offers a guiding light.
1. You feel emotionally numb
Have you ever caught yourself barely reacting to good news—or bad news?
This kind of emotional flatness can be a sneaky sign that you’ve shifted into autopilot.
I’ve noticed it in clients who tell me they’re “fine,” when in reality, they can’t remember the last time they genuinely laughed or felt deeply moved by something.
Their emotional landscape is more like a flat plain than rolling hills.
I sometimes ask people to describe the happiest or saddest moment of their week, and they struggle to name anything significant.
That emotional numbness isn’t always depression—though it can be related—but it might point to a lack of genuine engagement with what’s going on in your life.
It’s as if you’ve dialed down your emotional range just to cope.
When you start feeling indifferent to events that once inspired excitement or sadness, it’s worth taking a closer look at whether you’re coasting rather than living.
2. You have nothing to look forward to
You know that feeling of anticipation before an upcoming vacation or even a simple weekend activity that excites you?
If you’re struggling to name anything you’re looking forward to, it could mean you’re stuck in a cycle of unchanging routines.
When there’s no glimmer of excitement on the horizon, it usually signals a deeper issue than just boredom.
I remember chatting with a client who realized the highlight of her week was binge-watching the same show on the same day, every week.
No new activities, no social plans, and certainly no personal goals she was chasing.
While there’s nothing wrong with cozy nights in—I’m definitely a fan—it’s a red flag if this is literally all there is.
Having something—anything—to look forward to can recharge your emotional batteries and give you that sense of moving forward instead of standing still.
3. Your daily routine is on repeat with zero satisfaction
Do you wake up and perform the same series of tasks like clockwork, without ever feeling a sense of achievement?
Routines can be comforting, but they can also become shackles if we’re not careful.
I’ve had people share that they rise at the same time, eat the same breakfast, drive the same route, work the same shift, then head home—day in and day out—without any sense of fulfillment.
The day’s tasks blend into one another, and everything feels gray.
If you recognize that pattern and can’t remember the last time you felt proud of something you did, you might be wandering in the land of mere existence.
4. You struggle to find meaning in your relationships
Relationships are a crucial part of truly living. If you’re merely floating through them—half-listening or constantly rushing off to the next thing—you might be missing genuine connection.
Sometimes, clients come to me complaining about loneliness, even though they’re surrounded by people: family, friends, coworkers.
The problem is they’re not fully present with any of them.
I recall one situation where a client described every interaction as “surface-level.” She could predict how each conversation would go before it even started.
If you never dive deeper than the usual small talk or you feel like no one truly “gets” you, that emptiness can reinforce the sense that you’re just existing.
Meaningful relationships require energy and openness. When you find yourself reluctant to offer either, it’s likely that life’s color has faded—and you’re coasting instead of engaging.
5. You ignore the inner call to explore or change
Curiosity is a hallmark of truly living. It might be the urge to try a new hobby, embark on a mini-adventure, or even read a book outside your usual genre.
The folks at Psychology Today stand behind this, noting that curiosity fuels personal growth and creates room for new experiences.
When your inner voice whispers, “Let’s do something different,” but you consistently hush it—maybe out of fear or sheer apathy—that’s a clue you might be letting life pass by.
I once had a counseling session with someone who’d always wanted to learn to paint. She had no illusions of becoming a professional artist; she just felt drawn to the process of creation.
Yet, every time the impulse came up, she’d tell herself she didn’t have the time, money, or talent.
Over the years, that suppressed curiosity spilled over into other parts of her life, creating a stagnant vibe.
If you frequently find yourself silencing the nudge to try something new, you might be ignoring the path toward a richer, more vibrant life.
6. You find yourself overwhelmed by a vague sense of dread
Sometimes, feeling stuck shows up as an undercurrent of anxiety that you can’t quite pinpoint. It’s this sense that something is off, but you can’t put your finger on it.
As the team over at Better Up mentioned, a persistent worry that life lacks purpose can morph into an existential crisis if left unaddressed.
This unease often manifests in a background hum of stress and restless nights, even when nothing is overtly wrong.
If the same sense of dread creeps up on you regularly, it might be your inner self waving a flag, urging you to explore whether you’re truly satisfied with how you’re living—or merely trudging along.
7. You’re living someone else’s script
I’ve saved a big one until last, friends. Living someone else’s plan—whether it’s a parent’s vision, a friend’s advice, or society’s expectations—can leave you feeling empty, no matter how “successful” you might look on the outside.
I’ve spoken with clients who achieved every milestone their family set out for them, only to discover they had no passion for the life they’d built.
It’s devastating to invest so much time and energy, only to realize you were climbing the wrong ladder.
A quick gut-check is to ask: Whose dreams am I really chasing?
If the answer is someone else’s, you might find that your daily efforts feel hollow.
Of course, responsibilities are part of adult life, but the key is balancing them with your own dreams and wants.
When you hand over the reins to someone else—or to society’s generic path—you lose that core sense of self.
It’s almost impossible to be fully alive when every choice you make is primarily to satisfy external expectations.
Final thoughts
Recognizing that you’re in “existence mode” can stir up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings.
Trust me, I’ve seen it in my office and occasionally in my own reflections, and it’s never an easy realization. But it’s the starting point for real change.
The moment you see the signs, you gain the power to shift your mindset, adjust your habits, and even rethink the relationships and goals that shape your life.
A more fulfilling way of living is within reach when you’re willing to question the status quo.
Are you emotionally engaged? Do you have something to look forward to? Do you listen to your own inner voice or bury it under routine and obligations?
If these questions strike a chord, take it as a cue to explore new options or add more meaningful moments to your routine.
Even small adjustments—like trying out a fresh weekend activity or reconnecting with an old friend—can help you break free from that dull daily loop.
Signing off.
