Have you ever had a friend who seemed fine on the surface but, deep down, you had a feeling something was off?
They still smiled, showed up, and went through the motions—but something about their energy felt different.
The truth is, not everyone who struggles with low self-worth will come out and say it. In fact, many people go out of their way to hide it.
But if you pay close attention, there are subtle signs that can reveal what they’re really feeling inside.
Recognizing these signs matters. It allows you to support the people you care about before they reach a breaking point.
So, how can you tell when someone close to you is struggling—even if they never say a word? Let’s take a closer look.
1) They downplay their achievements
Have you ever complimented someone on their success, only for them to brush it off like it was nothing?
Instead of owning their hard work, they might say they just got lucky or that it wasn’t a big deal. Even when they accomplish something meaningful, they struggle to see their own value in it.
This isn’t just humility—it can be a sign of low self-worth. When someone doesn’t believe they’re good enough, they have a hard time accepting praise or recognizing their own achievements.
If you notice this pattern, don’t just let it slide. Sometimes, a simple reminder—like telling them their success is well-earned—can help them start seeing themselves in a new light.
2) They constantly compare themselves to others
I once had a friend who always measured herself against everyone around her.
No matter what she achieved, it never seemed to be enough—because someone else was always doing “better.”
If a coworker got a promotion, she’d say she wasn’t working hard enough. If a friend bought a new car, she’d suddenly feel like hers wasn’t good enough.
At first, I thought she was just ambitious. But over time, I realized it wasn’t about motivation—it was about self-doubt. She wasn’t celebrating other people’s wins; she was using them as proof that she wasn’t worthy.
When someone is constantly comparing themselves to others, it can be a sign they don’t see their own value. A small reminder that their path is unique—and that their worth isn’t tied to someone else’s success—can go a long way.
3) They apologize for everything
“Sorry.”
It was the first thing she said when she interrupted me—except she didn’t interrupt me.
“Sorry.”
She said it again when she asked for a tiny favor, as if just needing something was an inconvenience.
“Sorry.”
She apologized when she shared her opinion, like her thoughts didn’t matter as much as everyone else’s.
At some point, I realized she wasn’t just being polite—she genuinely felt like she was a burden. Like taking up space, asking for help, or even just existing required an apology.
People who struggle with low self-worth often feel like they’re “too much” or that their needs aren’t important. So, they shrink themselves down, say sorry too often, and try not to bother anyone.
If you notice this in someone close to you, remind them—gently—that they have nothing to apologize for. Their presence is not a problem to be fixed.
4) They have a hard time accepting compliments
“You look great today.”
“Oh, no, I look terrible.”
“That was such a smart idea.”
“Not really, anyone could’ve thought of that.”
If someone close to you always deflects compliments or downplays kind words, it might be more than just modesty.
People with low self-worth often struggle to see anything good in themselves—so when someone else points it out, they reject it. It’s not that they don’t appreciate the compliment; it’s that they don’t believe it.
Next time this happens, don’t let them brush it off. Hold your ground. Let them know you mean it. Over time, hearing genuine praise without being able to escape from it might help them start believing it too.
5) They put everyone else first—even at their own expense
Some of the kindest people you’ll ever meet are also the ones who struggle the most with self-worth.
They’ll drop everything to help a friend, stay late at work to cover for a coworker, or always be the one checking in on others. But when it comes to their own needs? Those get pushed aside.
On the surface, it looks like generosity.
And it is—but sometimes, it’s also something deeper. Studies have shown that people with low self-worth often overextend themselves for others because they believe their value comes from being useful, not from who they are.
If someone close to you never says no, always puts themselves last, and seems exhausted from carrying everyone else’s burdens, they might not realize they deserve care too.
A small reminder that their worth isn’t measured by what they do for others can mean more than you think.
6) They struggle to believe people genuinely care about them
Have you ever told someone you appreciate them, only for them to respond with surprise—like they weren’t expecting it?
Or maybe you’ve reassured a friend that you’re there for them, and they shrugged it off, as if they weren’t sure you really meant it.
When someone has low self-worth, it can be hard for them to believe they matter to others. They might assume people are just being polite or that friendships are one-sided, even when that’s far from the truth.
If you notice this in someone close to you, remind them—through actions, not just words—that they are valued.
Keep showing up. Keep letting them know they’re important. Sometimes, consistency is what finally helps them believe it.
7) They are their own worst critic
Listen to how they talk about themselves.
Not just in serious conversations, but in the little moments—when they make a mistake, when they’re feeling frustrated, when they think no one is paying attention.
Do they call themselves stupid over something small? Do they brush off their efforts as never being good enough? Do they tear themselves down in ways they would never do to someone else?
People struggling with low self-worth often hold themselves to impossible standards. They see every flaw, every shortcoming, every reason they think they don’t measure up.
If someone close to you does this, remind them that they deserve the same kindness they give to others. Because the way we speak to ourselves shapes what we believe—and no one deserves to be their own worst enemy.
The bottom line
If someone close to you is struggling with low self-worth, chances are, they won’t come out and say it.
But the signs are there—in the way they speak about themselves, how they respond to kindness, and how much they give without expecting anything in return.
The most powerful thing you can do? Keep showing up. Remind them, through both words and actions, that they matter—not because of what they do for others, but simply because of who they are.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. But knowing that someone sees them, believes in them, and values them just as they are can make all the difference.
