There’s a significant difference between a marriage that’s stuck in a rut and a marriage that’s genuinely facing irreparable issues.
This difference all comes down to signs. As a relationship expert, I can tell you that there are clear indications showing whether your marriage is worth fighting for or if it’s time to wave the white flag.
In the journey of love, I’ve learned that it’s not about making rash decisions based on fleeting emotions, but rather understanding the core of your relationship.
I’m Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog. Through my years of experience, I’ve compiled 8 signs your marriage is truly worth saving. And I’m eager to share this wisdom with you.
Let’s delve into these signs together, shall we?
1) Shared goals and dreams
A crucial aspect of any thriving marriage is shared goals and dreams.
It’s a common scenario: Two people fall in love, get married, and then realize they want entirely different things in life. This can lead to a lot of heartache and confusion.
But as a relationship expert, I’ve noticed that couples who share similar goals and dreams often have stronger bonds. It’s not about having identical ambitions.
Instead, it’s about aligning your future visions—whether that’s starting a family, traveling the world, or simply growing old together.
When you both are excited about the same future prospects, it adds a layer of unity and mutual understanding to your relationship.
This shared vision can serve as the glue that holds you together through thick and thin.
And remember, it’s not manipulative to communicate about your desires. Open conversation paves the path to mutual understanding and love.
2) Respect is still intact
Respect is the bedrock of any successful relationship. It’s the trait that enables love to grow and thrive.
In my own marriage, there have been disagreements and arguments, just like any other couple.
But one thing that has always stayed constant is our mutual respect.
If you and your partner still hold high regard for each other’s feelings, opinions, and individuality, even during conflicts, it’s a sign your marriage has a solid foundation.
3) Emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is the secret ingredient to a fulfilling and meaningful marriage. It’s the feeling of being understood, loved, and accepted by your partner.
In my personal life and work as a relationship expert, I’ve seen how critical emotional intimacy is in deciding whether a marriage is worth saving.
When you can share your deepest fears, happiest moments, and even your most embarrassing stories with your spouse without the fear of judgment, it shows a level of emotional intimacy that can weather any storm.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deeper into the importance of emotional intimacy and provide practical strategies on how to strengthen this vital aspect of your relationship.
So if you sense that emotional intimacy is alive in your marriage, that’s a strong sign that your relationship has what it takes to thrive amidst challenges.
4) Disagreements are frequent
Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but bear with me.
Having frequent disagreements with your spouse isn’t necessarily a bad sign. On the contrary, it’s often an indication of a healthy relationship.
It’s essential to understand that disagreements and arguments are a part of any relationship. They signify that both parties have their own opinions and are not afraid to voice them.
Of course, how you handle these disagreements matters. If you can argue without belittling each other and come to constructive resolutions, it’s a sign of healthy communication.
So don’t fret if you and your spouse bicker now and then. It doesn’t mean your marriage is failing. Rather, it shows you’re both invested enough to argue over things that matter to you. And that, my friends, is a good sign.
This brings me to the next point…
5) Sometimes, it hurts
This point may sound raw, but it’s honest.
Sometimes, love hurts. Sometimes, the person you care for the most also has the power to cause you the most pain.
And it’s okay. It’s okay to acknowledge that sometimes your marriage hurts. It’s okay to admit that there are days when you feel let down or disappointed.
Why? Because it means you still care.
Apathy, my friends, is far scarier than pain in a relationship. If you didn’t care about your marriage, it wouldn’t hurt when things go wrong.
As marriage and family therapist Joel Walton points out, “It’s the troubled couples who actually aren’t fighting that most alarm me. These couples (or one of the mates) have entered into a dangerous area that’s difficult to coax or motivate them out of it – apathy.”
But if it hurts, it means there’s still love, still passion, still an investment of your heart. And that’s a sign that your marriage might just be worth saving.
6) You still make each other laugh
Laughter is the best medicine, they say, and it holds true in marriage as well.
In my own relationship, I’ve found that humor has been our saving grace during challenging times. It lightens the mood, breaks the tension, and reminds us of why we fell in love in the first place.
According to research, if you and your spouse can still share a hearty laugh together, it’s a powerful indicator that your bond is strong.
Laughter promotes connection, understanding, and mutual enjoyment. It’s a sign that despite the ups and downs, there’s still joy in your togetherness.
7) You’re better together
At the end of the day, what truly matters is whether you’re better together.
In my own marriage, there have been countless instances where I’ve realized how much my spouse has helped me grow as a person. We’ve supported each other through life’s ups and downs, and I genuinely believe we bring out the best in each other.
If you can look at your spouse and honestly say that they make you a better person, that’s a strong sign your marriage is worth saving.
As the famous philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
8) It’s not always easy, but you’re willing to work on it
Let’s be honest here. Marriage isn’t always a walk in the park.
There are days when it feels like an uphill battle, filled with disagreements, misunderstandings, and frustrations. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth fighting for.
The fact that you’re willing to roll up your sleeves and work on your marriage is a powerful sign in itself. It shows commitment, resilience, and a deep love that surpasses the superficial happiness of easy times.
When you’re ready to face the challenges head-on and put in the necessary effort to make things work, it signifies that your marriage holds a special place in your heart.
So if despite all the difficulties, you find yourself ready to fight for your relationship, take it as a clear and honest sign that your marriage is indeed worth saving.
Conclusion
Recognizing the signs that your marriage is worth saving is an important first step toward nurturing a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
While challenges are inevitable, the presence of mutual respect, shared goals, emotional intimacy, and a willingness to grow together are powerful indicators that your bond has the potential to thrive.
If you’re looking for more guidance and insights into building a healthier, happier relationship, consider checking out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. But with patience, love, and understanding, you can overcome the challenges and build a marriage that stands the test of time.
