There’s a striking contrast between people who are socially adept and those who struggle with people skills.
The key, often, lies in certain habits. People who lack social skills tend to fall into patterns of behavior that push others away rather than drawing them in.
As someone fascinated by psychology, I’ve noticed 10 specific habits that are common indicators of poor people skills.
In this article, we’re going to dive into these habits, giving you a unique peek into the world of those who struggle with social interactions.
Let’s get started.
1) Limited eye contact
One of the most telling signs of someone with poor people skills is limited eye contact.
Eye contact is a fundamental aspect of human interaction. It signifies attention, respect, and engagement. But for those who struggle with social skills, maintaining eye contact can be a real challenge.
People who avoid eye contact often come off as uninterested, detached, or even rude. This can severely affect their ability to connect with others, making social situations feel even more daunting.
If you notice someone consistently avoiding eye contact, it may be a sign they lack the necessary people skills for effective communication.
2) Struggle with small talk
You know, I’ve personally interacted with people who seem to have a hard time with small talk.
For me, chatting about the weather, a recent movie, or a shared experience is a breeze. It’s a way to break the ice and establish some common ground. But not everyone finds it this easy.
I remember a friend of mine, let’s call him Jake. Jake was brilliant – a wizard with numbers and logic – but when it came to casual conversation, he often struggled. Social gatherings were his nemesis. He would either stay silent or dive into deep, complex topics that weren’t exactly cocktail party material.
People who struggle with small talk often have trouble connecting on a casual level. They might come off as intense or overly serious, which can make it difficult for them to form easy-going relationships.
3) Difficulty reading non-verbal cues
Body language is a universal form of communication. It can convey emotions and intentions, often more accurately than words. However, not everyone is adept at interpreting these non-verbal cues.
Individuals with limited people skills often struggle to understand the unspoken language of body movements, facial expressions, and gestures. They might not realize when someone is uncomfortable, bored, or excited based purely on their body language.
Research by psychologist Albert Mehrabian suggests that up to 93% of communication effectiveness is determined by non-verbal cues. This means that those who struggle with this aspect are missing out on a significant part of human interaction.
The inability to correctly interpret these signals can lead to misunderstandings and awkward situations, further undermining their social interactions.
4) Tendency to interrupt
Ever been in a conversation where you can’t get a word in edgewise? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
Well, frequent interruption is another common habit of people who lack strong social skills. They often cut others off mid-sentence, failing to realize that conversation is a two-way street.
This behavior can come off as rude or dismissive, giving the impression that they think their ideas or opinions are more important.
Good communication involves active listening – not just waiting for your turn to speak but truly hearing what the other person is saying. Those who struggle with this can inadvertently damage relationships and hinder effective communication.
5) Over-sharing personal information
There’s a delicate balance between sharing enough to connect with others and over-sharing.
People with limited social skills often struggle to find this balance. They may divulge too much personal information too quickly, leaving the other party feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed.
This habit often stems from a desire to connect and be understood. However, it can come off as inappropriate or overly intense, particularly in casual or professional settings.
Knowing when to share and how much to reveal is key to successful social interaction. Those who over-share may find that they push people away, rather than drawing them in.
6) Lack of empathy
Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – is a cornerstone of human connection.
However, not everyone finds empathy easy. Some people, particularly those with poor people skills, may struggle to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This can make their interactions feel cold or detached.
This lack of empathy is not always intentional or cruel. It can be due to a multitude of reasons from upbringing to personal experiences.
But regardless of the reason, the inability to empathize can make it difficult for them to form meaningful connections. It’s like trying to navigate in the dark; without empathy, understanding others becomes a guessing game, often leading to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
7) Struggling with acceptance
I remember a time in my life when I was so focused on fitting in that I lost sight of who I was. I’d try to mold myself into what I thought others wanted me to be, and it was exhausting.
This is a common trait in people with poor social skills. They tend to struggle with accepting themselves for who they are, often leading them to create a persona that they think will be more accepted by others.
The problem is, people usually sense this lack of authenticity. It creates a barrier that prevents genuine connections from forming. After all, how can you truly connect with someone if you’re not showing your real self?
It took me some time to realize that being true to myself was more important than trying to fit in. And interestingly, once I started embracing my authentic self, I found it easier to connect with others.
8) Avoiding social situations
Here’s an interesting twist. You might think that someone with poor people skills would seek out social situations to improve. But in many cases, the opposite is true.
People who struggle socially often avoid gatherings, parties, or any scenario that involves interacting with others. This behavior might seem like a way to avoid the discomfort of socializing, but it actually exacerbates the issue.
By avoiding social situations, they miss out on opportunities to practice and improve their skills. It’s akin to wanting to get better at swimming but refusing to go near a pool.
This cycle of avoidance can make it extremely difficult for them to improve their people skills, keeping them stuck in a rut of discomfort and isolation.
9) Neglecting to ask questions
In any conversation, asking questions is crucial. It shows interest, encourages the other person to share, and helps build a deeper connection.
However, people with limited social skills often neglect this aspect of conversation. They might focus more on what they want to say next instead of showing genuine interest in the other person’s thoughts and experiences.
This habit can make conversations feel one-sided and disengaging. It can leave the impression that they’re not really interested in others, which can be off-putting and hinder the formation of meaningful relationships.
Learning to ask thoughtful questions – and genuinely listen to the answers – is a key step in improving people skills.
10) Lack of self-awareness
Above all, a common trait among people with poor social skills is a lack of self-awareness. They often don’t realize how their actions and words affect others.
Self-awareness is fundamental in social interactions. It’s the understanding of how we come across to others and how our actions can influence the dynamics of a conversation or relationship.
Without this awareness, it’s challenging to identify areas for improvement or to understand why certain interactions may not go as planned.
Fostering self-awareness is often the first step towards improving people skills. Once you understand your impact on others, you can begin to make positive changes and navigate social situations more effectively.
