Strength and fragility – two words that might seem contradictory, but can coexist within the same individual.
As a woman, I’ve found that we can be masters of putting on a brave face, appearing unshakeable to the world when in fact, we’re quietly battling inner turmoil.
Underneath that armor of strength, there lies a delicate vulnerability that is less visible to the untrained eye.
So, how can you spot this paradoxical blend of strength and fragility?
It’s all about the subtle behaviors – little signs that hint at the emotional depth lurking beneath the surface.
In this article, I’ll reveal 7 subtle behaviors that are exhibited by women who are strong on the surface but fragile underneath.
These insights might help you understand the women around you better, or perhaps even shed light on your own complex layers.
1) They are masters of deflection
Navigating conversations can be a tricky business, particularly for women who are strong on the surface but fragile beneath.
The strength they project is a defense mechanism, a shield they use to deflect attention away from their vulnerabilities.
These women are skilled at steering conversations away from topics that feel too personal or might expose their emotional fragility.
For instance, they might skillfully change the subject or use humor as a diversion tactic when the conversation ventures into uncomfortable territory.
Yet, this doesn’t mean they’re being deceptive or insincere.
They’re simply protecting their emotional selves, a subtle behavior that’s a clear indication of their underlying fragility.
This deflection is not an attempt to mislead but a way to maintain their emotional balance while dealing with the world around them.
2) Their empathy levels are remarkably high
One might think that keeping emotions under tight control would limit their emotional understanding of others.
However, that’s not usually the case.
In fact, their own internal struggles can make them acutely aware of the emotional states of those around them.
They understand the pain of feeling vulnerable, and this makes them empathetic towards others who might be experiencing the same.
This heightened empathy isn’t just a sign of their emotional intelligence; it’s also a testament to their inner fragility.
They understand what it’s like to fight battles beneath the surface, which allows them to resonate deeply with others who are in the same boat.
3) They often need alone time
Despite their high levels of empathy and ability to connect deeply with others, women who are strong on the surface but fragile underneath crave solitude.
This might seem a bit paradoxical. After all, if they’re so good at forming connections, why would they need to retreat?
The answer lies in their sensitivity.
Because they feel emotions so intensely — both their own and others’ — they can easily become overwhelmed.
This emotional overload can be exhausting, leading them to seek out quiet spaces for rest and recovery.
Solitude provides a much-needed break from the emotional whirlwind.
In these quiet moments, they recharge and process their feelings, emerging stronger and ready to face the world again.
The saying of Henri Nouwen rings true: “Solitude is the place of purification and transformation. It is the place of our personal struggle.”
While they may appear to be social butterflies, don’t be surprised if these strong yet fragile women occasionally retreat into their cocoons.
It’s not a sign of weakness, but rather a necessary part of their emotional health and well-being.
4) They are prone to overthinking
Ever found yourself replaying conversations in your head, analyzing every word, every gesture?
For women who seem strong on the surface but harbor fragility underneath, overthinking becomes a constant companion.
These women find themselves dwelling on past interactions, worrying about future scenarios, or just caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts.
It’s not because they want to; it’s because their mind just doesn’t stop.
This tendency to overthink is another subtle behavior that signals their inner fragility.
The strength they project to the world doesn’t shield them from the exhausting cycle of overthinking.
It fuels their need to appear flawless and unshakeable, further intensifying their overthinking tendencies.
5) They rarely open up about their struggles
One thing I’ve noticed about women who project strength on the surface but carry fragility within is their reluctance to share their struggles.
We might assume they’re always in control and composed, but the reality is that they face challenges just like the rest of us.
The distinction lies in their approach to these difficulties.
Rather than expressing their hardships, they choose to fight them in silence.
They carry their burdens alone, fearing that revealing their struggles could shatter the image of strength they’ve carefully cultivated.
This behavior isn’t born from a desire to isolate themselves; it stems from a deep-seated need to shield their vulnerability from the world.
6) They value self-care, but may struggle to prioritize it
Imagine you’re juggling multiple responsibilities – a demanding job, a hectic family life, and a busy social calendar.
You know you should take care of yourself, but you’re so caught up in taking care of others that you neglect your own needs. Sound familiar?
This scenario frequently plays out for women who project strength on the surface while concealing fragility beneath.
They recognize the significance of self-care, understanding that it goes beyond bubble baths and spa days; it encompasses nurturing their physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Yet despite this awareness, they find it hard to put themselves first.
They may feel guilty for taking time out for themselves or worry that they’re letting others down.
But what happens when we continually put others’ needs before our own?
Can we truly serve others well if we’re running on empty?
These questions aren’t easy to answer.
But they’re worth pondering for anyone who tends to prioritize others over themselves, especially those who are strong on the outside but carry a fragility within.
The word of L.R. Knost resonates: “Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.”
7) They handle stress differently
As Rainer Maria Rilke wisely said, “The only journey is the one within.”
This journey of self-discovery and understanding is overlooked by women who project strength while concealing inner fragility.
They develop unique coping strategies to navigate life’s challenges.
Instead of crumbling under pressure, they might dive into their work or take on additional responsibilities.
They can even become a source of support for others during difficult times.
While this may appear as resilience on the surface, it can sometimes serve as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting their own vulnerabilities.
By redirecting their focus to others’ problems or immersing themselves in tasks, they create a shield against their own emotions and fears, complicating their internal journey.
The bottom line
In a world that celebrates unwavering strength, it’s crucial to keep in mind that acknowledging someone’s strength doesn’t equate to ignoring their fragility.
True understanding lies in recognizing the complex layers of their experiences and offering the support they need during their vulnerable moments.
As we conclude, let’s reflect on the reality that everyone faces their own battles.
Some fight openly, while others struggle silently beneath a strong facade.
By being observant and empathetic, we can create a compassionate environment that honors both strength and vulnerability.
In doing so, we not only uplift those around us but also cultivate deeper connections rooted in authenticity and understanding.
Let us embrace the beauty of this duality, supporting one another in the intricate dance of strength and fragility.
