As entrepreneur Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
And while some of those people may lift us up, others quietly drain our energy, distract us from our goals, or chip away at our peace of mind. Often, we let them stay out of habit or a sense of obligation—but what impact are they really having on our lives?
Today, we’re diving into six types of people you should simply stop wasting energy on.
Recognizing these folks in your life can help you protect your mental and emotional resources, making room for a more balanced, fulfilling life.
1) Energy vampires
We’ve all encountered them at some point or another. Energy vampires are those individuals who drain your energy with their neediness.
These people can be very demanding, always seeking your attention and time. They often leave you feeling exhausted and depleted, without offering anything positive in return.
You might feel obligated to help or be there for them out of a sense of duty, compassion, or even guilt. But it’s important to realize that constantly giving to an energy vampire while neglecting your own needs is not sustainable.
Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.
2) Chronic complainers
Here’s an interesting fact: research has shown that exposure to negativity—like constant news reports about disasters or tragedies—can increase anxiety, and sadness, and even make us more prone to negative thinking.
Why am I telling you this?
Because negativity is contagious.
Spending time with people who are always finding something wrong with their day, their job, or their relationships can do the same – their negativity seeps into your own mindset before you even realize it.
You might find yourself starting to see the world through their negative lens. That’s why it’s crucial to protect your energy and limit your interactions with them.
It’s not your job to solve their problems or to make them see the brighter side of life. Focus on maintaining your positive outlook and invest your energy in people who uplift you, not those who pull you down.
3) Fair-weather friends
This is a big one.
Let me tell you about a friend I used to have, let’s call him Jack.
Jack and I would have the best time when everything was going great. We’d hang out, and share laughs, and he was always up for an adventure.
But the moment things got tough, Jack was nowhere to be found. When I went through a rough breakup and needed a shoulder to lean on, he was too busy. When I lost my job and needed someone to talk to, he conveniently had other plans.
Eventually, I realized that Jack was a fair-weather friend. He was around for the good times but disappeared when things got hard.
I spent so much energy trying to maintain our friendship, but it was one-sided. The moment I stopped chasing after him, our communication dwindled.
I learned a valuable lesson from this experience: true friends are there for you through thick and thin. They stick around even when the going gets tough. And those are the friendships worth investing your energy in.
4) Unappreciative takers
You know them. Those individuals who are always on the receiving end but hardly ever give anything back. They’re happy to take your help, your time, and sometimes even your resources, but they rarely show appreciation or reciprocate.
These unappreciative takers can leave you feeling used and undervalued. You invest so much energy into supporting them, but your efforts often go unnoticed or unacknowledged.
As noted by experts like psychosocial rehabilitation specialist Kendra Cherry, such a one-sided relationship can cause increased stress, feelings of loneliness, and even decreased self-esteem.
Relationships should be a two-way street. Don’t be afraid to pull away from people who continually take without giving back.
Your energy is valuable, and it’s essential to spend it on individuals who recognize and appreciate your efforts.
5) Constant “one-uppers”
We’ve all met someone who, no matter what you share, has a story or achievement that’s “better” than yours.
You got a promotion? They got two. You had a great vacation? Theirs was even more exotic.
Constant one-uppers live to outshine others, turning conversations into competitions and leaving you feeling minimized or unheard.
Engaging with one-uppers can be exhausting because they often lack genuine interest in others’ experiences. Their behavior typically stems from insecurity, needing to feel superior to feel good about themselves.
Over time, this dynamic can make you feel undervalued, as your achievements are brushed aside or overshadowed by theirs.
Instead of letting their behavior sap your enthusiasm, limit your time with one-uppers and invest in relationships with those who celebrate your successes and listen with genuine interest.
6) Gaslighters
Gaslighters are masters of manipulation, distorting reality to make you question your own perceptions, memories, or feelings.
How do they do this?
Well, we have covered this in detail in other posts but basically, they might twist your words, deny things that happened, or blame you for issues they caused, all to keep control. They might also try to isolate you from other people you trust.
If you notice any of these signs, don’t take them lightly.
As noted by the folks at WebMD, this is actually a form of emotional abuse and can create “unhealthy, codependent relationships, and it may feel impossible to leave”.
Recognizing these manipulative behaviors is crucial; once you do, you can take steps to distance yourself from people who undermine your sense of reality.
Choosing instead to surround yourself with supportive, trustworthy individuals can restore your peace of mind and help you build confidence in your own perceptions.
Final thoughts: It’s about self-preservation
The people around you play a powerful role in shaping your mindset and emotional health.
By consciously choosing to distance yourself from those who drain you, you make room for those who genuinely uplift and support you.
Remember, it’s not selfish to protect your peace; it’s self-preservation.
Choose wisely, and surround yourself with people who help you become the best version of yourself.
