Not all friendships are meant to last forever. While some friends lift you up, support you, and grow with you, others quietly drain your energy or hold you back.
The tricky part? It’s not always obvious which friends fall into which category.
Sometimes, we hold on to friendships out of habit, guilt, or the belief that “we’ve been friends for so long.”
But the truth is, the people you surround yourself with can either fuel your growth or keep you stuck.
If certain friendships feel more like a weight than a blessing, it might be time to rethink who you’re giving your time and energy to.
Here are 9 types of friends that, according to psychology and plain old life experience, you should seriously consider distancing yourself from. It’s not about being harsh — it’s about protecting your peace.
1) The critic
Criticism doesn’t always come in the form of blatant attacks.
Sometimes, it’s subtle and gradually chips away at your self-esteem.
You might have a friend who’s always quick to point out your flaws or mistakes, often under the guise of “helping” you.
They make you second-guess your decisions and leave you feeling inadequate or doubtful about your abilities.
Perhaps they constantly compare you to others, making you feel like you’re never quite good enough.
Or maybe they dismiss your achievements, making them seem insignificant or unimportant.
This constant negative feedback can be incredibly damaging over time, leading to feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem.
2) The energy vampire
Ever had a friend who leaves you feeling drained after every interaction?
This friend is what we call an energy vampire.
They are always the center of attention, with their problems and dramas taking up all the space.
Every conversation revolves around them, their issues, their life.
You find yourself lending an ear more often than not and your own needs and concerns are seldom addressed.
Over time, you might notice a sense of exhaustion and depletion after spending time with them.
You may also feel a heavy sense of obligation towards them, even if it’s at the cost of your own well-being.
Caring for others is admirable, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your own energy and mental health.
If a friendship feels more like an energy drain than a source of support and joy, it might be time to step back and reassess.
3) The perpetual optimist
On the surface, a friend who’s always positive may seem like the ideal companion. They’re cheerful, upbeat, and always see the bright side of things.
However, this type of friend can sometimes be more harmful than helpful.
This friend dismisses your struggles with a breezy, “Look on the bright side!” or “Everything happens for a reason!”
While positivity is generally good, this can cross into toxic positivity when it invalidates your feelings or experiences.
Instead of allowing you to express your emotions, they might insist that you should always be happy and optimistic.
This can leave you feeling unheard, invalidated, and even guilty for having negative feelings.
While it’s great to have friends who lift us up, it’s equally important to have friends who allow us to feel our feelings – even when they’re not so positive.
4) The ghoster
One day they’re texting you non-stop, and the next — radio silence. No explanation, no warning, just… gone.
The Ghoster is the friend who disappears without a trace, only to reappear when it’s convenient for them.
At first, you might brush it off as them being “busy,” but when it becomes a pattern, it’s hard to ignore.
Friendships thrive on consistency, and The Ghoster doesn’t offer that.
They leave you hanging, wondering if you did something wrong or if they even value the friendship at all.
And when they finally resurface, it’s usually with a casual, “Hey, how have you been?” like nothing happened.
The emotional whiplash of being dropped and picked back up can leave you feeling frustrated and unimportant.
If someone only shows up when it’s convenient for them, it’s worth asking yourself if this friendship is truly adding value to your life.
A real friend doesn’t vanish without notice — they communicate, show up, and stay present, even when life gets busy.
5) The competitor
Everyone has that one friend who seems to turn everything into a competition.
It feels like they’re always trying to one-up you, whether it’s about work achievements, relationships, or even personal struggles.
This competitive streak often stems from their own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.
They may see your successes as a threat, leading them to compete instead of celebrating with you.
While it’s natural to feel a sense of competition now and then, a friendship should primarily be about mutual support and joy in each other’s achievements.
If every conversation feels like a contest, it can erode the joy and comfort a friendship should provide.
It’s okay to empathize and understand where they’re coming from, but it’s equally important to protect your own emotional wellbeing.
6) The gossipmonger
We all love a good gossip session now and then, but what happens when one friend always seems to be the source of the latest rumors?
This friend, the gossipmonger, thrives on sharing the latest scandalous news about others.
While it might seem harmless and even entertaining at first, it can quickly become draining and damaging.
Research indicates that being the target of negative gossip can lead to social isolation, damaged reputations, and increased feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
It makes you question what they could be saying behind your back and can lead to trust issues.
Not only that, but it also perpetuates a negative environment where people are constantly being judged and talked about.
This can make you feel uncomfortable, anxious, and skeptical of others.
Having open and honest conversations is a crucial part of any friendship.
If gossip is the main topic of conversation, you may need to consider if this friend adds real value to your life.
7) The drama queen
We all know one, if not more – that friend who seems to live in a constant state of drama.
Their life is a never-ending soap opera, and you’re always cast in a supporting role.
While it can be entertaining at times to listen to their dramatic tales and theatrics, it can also get quite exhausting.
After all, life is dramatic enough without extra theatrics thrown in.
You might find yourself constantly embroiled in their issues, rescuing them from their latest crisis, or offering comfort and advice for situations that seem to repeat themselves.
While you want to be there for your friends during tough times, it’s also important to remember that you’re not responsible for fixing their problems.
If your friendship feels more like a reality TV show than a supportive relationship, it may be time to reconsider its importance in your life.
8) The user
Unfortunately, not all friends have our best interests at heart.
Some are there for the good times and benefits but disappear when things get tough.
This friend is what we call a user.
They’re always up for a night out when you’re paying, or they’re happy to borrow your stuff but never seem to return it.
They might call you only when they need help or want something from you, leaving you feeling used and disrespected.
A true friendship isn’t one-sided; it’s based on mutual respect and reciprocation.
You deserve friends who value and respect you, not just what you can offer them.
9) The neglector
In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s normal for friends to occasionally lose touch.
However, if a friend consistently neglects the relationship, it’s a telltale sign of a one-sided friendship.
The Neglector is a friend who rarely initiates contact or cancels plans at the last minute.
They may not make an effort to keep up with your life or show interest in what’s happening with you.
Friendships require time, effort, and mutual respect. Research indicates that one-sided friendships, where one person invests more effort and emotional support than the other, can lead to feelings of loneliness and decreased self-worth.
So if you’re always the one reaching out or making plans, it can leave you feeling unappreciated and neglected.
The most important thing to remember is that you deserve a friendship that brings joy, support, and reciprocity.
Conclusion
So, you’ve identified some toxic traits in your friendships, and now you’re questioning what to do next.
If you’re in a friendship with someone exhibiting these behaviors, it’s likely you’ve already endured a lot.
It’s important to acknowledge how these friendships can leave you feeling drained, undervalued, and even emotionally exhausted.
Now, having one or even several of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean your friend is toxic beyond repair. But it is a prompt for reflection and re-evaluation of whether or not these friendships are truly serving your best interests.
Ultimately, the decision to distance yourself from certain friends is a personal one.
But always remember this: You deserve friendships that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and support.
You deserve friends who contribute positively to your life and well-being.
Take time to reflect on your friendships.
Ask yourself: Are they lifting me up or bringing me down?
The answer may guide you towards healthier relationships and a happier life.
