As human beings, we all strive for authenticity. It’s a quality that makes us feel genuine, unique and respected.
Unfortunately, in a world filled with social pressures and expectations, achieving authenticity can sometimes seem like an uphill battle.
Authenticity refers to being true to oneself — expressing our genuine feelings and thoughts without pretense or artificiality. It’s about being real, not fake.
What is it about some people that makes them feel genuinely real, approachable, and grounded?
Truly authentic individuals stand out, not because they’re trying to, but because their actions and attitudes reflect a deep sense of self-awareness and integrity.
As a psychologist, I’ve had the privilege of studying authentic individuals and their unique behaviours.
Time and again, I’ve noticed that these individuals exhibit subtle yet distinct traits that set them apart.
In this article, I’ll be sharing with you 9 subtle things that truly authentic people do differently.
These are based on my observations and experiences over the years as a psychologist. Stay tuned!
1) They embrace their imperfections
Authentic people understand that no one is perfect, including themselves. They accept their imperfections and own them, rather than trying to hide or deny them.
They may not necessarily celebrate their weaknesses, but they don’t let these shortcomings define who they are. Instead, they see them as part of their unique individuality.
You might notice this in the way they talk about themselves. They are comfortable with self-deprecating humor and are not afraid to laugh at their own mistakes or faults.
They strive to improve and grow, but they do it from a place of self-love and acceptance, not self-loathing.
2) They listen actively
Authentic individuals have a knack for making you feel heard and valued. They practice active listening, showing genuine interest in what others have to say.
Active listening is more than just hearing the words that are spoken. It involves understanding the underlying emotions, thoughts, and intentions behind the conversation.
When you’re talking to an authentic person, you might notice they don’t interrupt you or try to steer the conversation towards themselves.
Instead, they give you their full attention, make eye contact, and provide thoughtful responses or questions that show they are truly engaged in the conversation.
This ability to listen actively stems from their respect for others’ experiences and perspectives.
They understand that everyone has a unique story to tell, and they appreciate the opportunity to learn from these stories.
3) They aren’t always comfortable
In a world where we often prioritize comfort and ease, authentic people understand that discomfort is a natural part of growth and development.
They aren’t afraid to step out of their comfort zones, whether it’s by trying new experiences, facing their fears, or challenging their own beliefs and assumptions.
You might notice this when they voluntarily take on tasks that they know will be challenging. Or when they are the first to apologize after an argument, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Rather than avoiding difficult situations, authentic people see them as opportunities to learn and become better.
They understand that growth happens when we are stretched beyond our familiar boundaries.
4) They feel their feelings
Because they’re all about being true to themselves, authentic people don’t shy away from their emotions, even when they’re messy or painful.
They allow themselves to feel deeply, to experience the full spectrum of human emotions, from joy and love to anger and sorrow.
It’s not uncommon to see authentic people cry during a sad movie, laugh out loud at a joke, or express irritation when something bothers them.
They don’t suppress or ignore their feelings, but instead, acknowledge and express them in healthy ways.
This honesty with their emotions doesn’t mean they are ruled by them. They do understand that feelings are temporary and that they don’t have to act on every emotion they experience.
But they also know that denying or escaping emotions can lead to greater internal struggles in the long run.
5) They practice empathy
Authentic people have a natural ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
They don’t just sympathize; they empathize. They put themselves in other people’s shoes, feeling their joy, their pain, their hopes, and their fears.
You might notice this when they offer comfort to a friend going through a tough time or celebrate wholeheartedly when someone they know achieves success.
This empathy extends to all aspects of their lives. They are kind to waitstaff and service personnel because they understand that everyone has their own battles.
They are patient with others because they know that everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.
Authentic people’s empathy doesn’t make them pushovers, though. They maintain boundaries and respect themselves even as they show compassion and understanding towards others.
6) They have off days too
Just like everyone else, authentic people have days when they’re not at their best. They get tired, overwhelmed, and even grumpy. They might snap at someone or forget a commitment.
These are the moments when their authenticity shines the most.
Instead of pretending everything is fine, they admit they’re having an off day. They apologize if they’ve hurt someone and make amends.
You might notice this when they openly express that they’re feeling drained or when they ask for some alone time to recharge.
Simply put, authentic people understand that it’s okay to have bad days.
They don’t see these moments as failures but as part of being human. They embrace these times with grace and patience, knowing that tomorrow is another day to try again.
7) They find joy in the simple things
Authentic people have a certain lightness to them that is infectious. They have the ability to appreciate and find joy in the simplest things in life.
This might be a beautiful sunset, a perfectly brewed cup of coffee, a good book, or a hearty laugh with a friend. They don’t need grand gestures or expensive possessions to feel content and happy.
You’ll notice this in their ability to live in the moment, to savor the present without constantly worrying about the past or the future.
8) They set boundaries
Authentic people understand the importance of setting boundaries for their own mental and emotional well-being.
They know to say no when something does not align with their values or if it drains them.
This might seem harsh to some, but it’s crucial for their self-care. You’ll notice this when they turn down invitations that they don’t have the energy for, or when they distance themselves from toxic individuals.
Setting boundaries does not mean they are selfish or unkind, but it reflects their understanding of their own limits and respect for their own needs.
They know that they can’t pour from an empty cup and that taking care of themselves is the first step towards being able to care for others.
9) They stay true to themselves
Perhaps the most defining trait of authentic people is their unwavering commitment to being true to themselves.
They are not swayed by societal pressures or expectations but live life on their own terms.
You’ll notice this in the way they make decisions, how they pursue their passions, even how they dress.
They don’t seek validation from others because their sense of self-worth comes from within.
Staying true to oneself is not always easy, and it certainly doesn’t mean they never have doubts or insecurities. But instead of hiding these feelings, they face them head-on.
At the end of the day, authentic people understand that they are their own best friend and worst critic. They strive to be honest, kind, and fair to themselves, just as they are with others.
