As humans, we crave connection, understanding and mutual respect in our relationships. But sometimes, we find ourselves with a partner who seems more focused on their own needs than ours.
This can lead to feelings of frustration, confusion and even loneliness.
I’m referring to those relationships where one partner appears to only really care about themselves. This can manifest in subtle ways and may not be immediately noticeable.
Often, the signs are so subtle and embedded in everyday life that they can easily be overlooked or dismissed.
However, having an understanding of these signs can help you identify if you’re in a relationship with someone who is self-centred.
In this article, I will share with you 8 subtle signs your partner might only really care about themselves, as identified by a psychologist.
These signs can serve as red flags to help you better understand your partner’s behaviour.
1) They monopolize conversations
We all love a good chat, but when it comes to conversations with your partner, do you find it’s more of a one-way street?
You might notice that they always steer the conversation back to themselves.
Perhaps they show little interest in your day or your stories, and instead, spend most of the time talking about their own experiences and achievements.
In some cases, they might even interrupt you mid-sentence to share something about themselves or dismiss your thoughts and feelings as trivial compared to their own.
This subtle sign could indicate a lack of empathy and a self-centred approach to the relationship.
Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual respect and interest in each other’s lives.
2) Lack of empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
In a relationship, it’s the glue that holds everything together. But what happens when one partner lacks this essential trait?
You might notice that your partner has a hard time understanding your feelings. Perhaps they dismiss your emotions, saying you’re overreacting or being too sensitive.
Maybe they fail to provide comfort when you’re upset and instead respond with indifference.
This could mean they’re more focused on their own feelings and less attuned to yours. It’s a subtle sign, but one that can have a significant impact on your relationship.
Remember, empathy is key in a healthy relationship. It allows both partners to feel seen, heard, and valued. Without it, one partner may feel neglected and unappreciated.
3) They never apologize
We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. What matters is that we acknowledge them and say sorry.
Yet, in a relationship with a self-centered person, you might find apologies are as scarce as a desert oasis.
You might notice your partner never takes responsibility when they’ve hurt you or done something wrong.
Instead, they might shift the blame onto you or others, or even deny that the issue exists at all.
Their inability to apologize can leave you feeling unheard and invalidated. Remember, it takes courage and humility to admit when we’re wrong, and those are traits everyone should value in a relationship.
4) They struggle with your success
In a loving relationship, your partner’s achievements should feel like your own, and vice versa. You celebrate together, proud of each other’s accomplishments.
But if your partner only really cares about themselves, they might struggle with your success.
It could be a promotion at work or even a small win like sticking to a fitness plan – rather than feeling happy for you, they might seem indifferent or even jealous.
This isn’t a reflection on you or your success. It’s more likely that they’re struggling with their own insecurities and self-esteem.
Remember, everyone deserves a partner who cheers them on and celebrates their victories, big or small.
5) They don’t remember important details
We all forget things from time to time, but when it comes to the little details that matter, like your favorite dessert or an important date, a caring partner makes an effort to remember.
If your partner consistently forgets these key details about you, it might be a subtle sign that they’re more absorbed in their own world.
Maybe they keep forgetting that you’re allergic to peanuts or they never seem to remember your birthday without a reminder.
These little forgetful moments can add up and make you feel like you’re not a priority in their life.
Remember, everyone deserves a partner who pays attention to the small details because it’s those little things that show just how much they truly care.
6) They’re the star of their social media
In this digital age, our online presence can often give away more about us than we realize.
If your partner’s social media feed is a constant stream of selfies and posts about their achievements with little to no mention of you or others, it might be a subtle sign.
Perhaps they never tag you in photos or fail to mention you in their life updates.
Or maybe they’re always the hero in their anecdotes, with everyone else merely playing supporting roles.
While it’s perfectly fine to take pride in oneself, if they’re constantly putting themselves in the spotlight and leaving you in the shadows, it could indicate a self-centered approach to the relationship.
But remember, social media isn’t everything – it’s just another small piece of the puzzle to consider.
7) They make unilateral decisions
In a partnership, decisions should be made together, whether it’s about the color of your bedroom walls or which movie to watch on Netflix.
But if you notice your partner consistently making decisions without consulting you – wake up call, honey!
Maybe they decided to adopt a dog without checking if you’re okay with it or they always choose the restaurant for your dinner dates without asking for your opinion.
This is more than just a lack of consideration.
It’s a disregard for your feelings and opinions. Remember, in a relationship, your voice matters just as much as theirs. Don’t settle for anything less.
8) Your happiness is secondary
Above all, the most telling sign that your partner might only really care about themselves is if your happiness consistently takes a backseat to theirs.
Maybe they choose their comfort over your well-being, or they disregard your feelings to avoid conflict.
Perhaps they make choices that benefit them, even if it means causing you distress.
Remember, in a healthy relationship, your joy should be their joy, and vice versa.
If your happiness isn’t as important to them as their own, it’s time to reassess. You deserve a partner who values your happiness just as much as their own.
Reflecting and moving forward
If you’ve recognized a few of these signs in your partner, it can be a tough pill to swallow.
It’s important to remember that these traits don’t necessarily mean your partner is a bad person – they might just be struggling with their own issues or insecurities.
Feeling like you’re not a priority or that your happiness is secondary can be emotionally taxing.
You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, heard, and cared for – where your happiness matters just as much as your partner’s.
If your partner is open to it, consider seeking help from a trained professional who can provide guidance and support.
Sometimes, just having an open conversation about your feelings can make a world of difference.
But if things don’t change, it might be time to reconsider whether this relationship is truly serving you.
It’s not easy to walk away from someone you care about, but sometimes it’s the most loving thing you can do for yourself.
Remember: This article isn’t meant to diagnose your partner. Instead, it’s here to help you reflect on the dynamics of your relationship and consider whether you’re getting the love and respect you deserve.
Having one or even all nine of these signs doesn’t make your partner selfish beyond repair. But it’s certainly cause for reflection and potential conversation.
After all, love isn’t just about finding the right person – it’s also about being the right person. For both parties involved.
