7 subtle signs your partner is straying from the relationship, says a psychologist

There’s a stark distinction between being paranoid about your partner’s actions and being alert to subtle changes in their behavior.

This difference is all about perception. Questioning every move of your partner is an unhealthy obsession, which can cloud your judgement.

Reading subtle signs of change, however, puts you in a place of understanding, even if the truth might be uncomfortable.

As a psychologist, I’ve observed these signs and I hope to help you recognize them too without causing undue stress.

Below are seven subtle signs your partner might be straying from your relationship. It’s important to remember – these are not definitive proof but indicators that warrant a conversation.

1) They’ve become emotionally distant

It’s not uncommon for relationships to go through phases where one partner seems less engaged than usual.

However, if you notice a consistent drop in emotional intimacy, it could be a subtle sign that your partner is straying from the relationship.

Emotional distance can manifest in various ways – less interest in your day-to-day life, a decrease in affectionate behavior, or even a lack of enthusiasm for shared activities.

It’s important to understand that everybody has off days. But if this behavior becomes the norm rather than the exception, it might be time to have a candid conversation with your partner.

But remember, this is just a sign, not a verdict. It’s essential to approach the situation with understanding and without jumping to conclusions.

2) Their routine suddenly changes

I’ve been there. I remember in one of my previous relationships, my partner suddenly started coming home late from work regularly. It was a drastic change from his usual punctuality.

He used to be the type to come straight home after work, but then he began having more frequent “late meetings” and “work dinners”. His routine had changed and it wasn’t adding up.

When I confronted him about it, he was evasive and dismissive, which only increased my suspicions.

Changes in routine aren’t always indicative of infidelity. It could be stress at work or personal issues. But when it’s coupled with other signs like evasiveness or defensiveness, it could be a subtle sign that your partner is straying from the relationship.

3) They’re spending more time on their phone

In today’s digitally-driven world, it’s not unusual for people to be glued to their phones. But when it becomes excessive, it might be a sign of trouble in paradise.

A study conducted by the University of Missouri found that excessive phone use can lead to relationship dissatisfaction. If your partner is constantly on their phone, even when you’re together, it could indicate that they’re looking for an escape.

This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re cheating. They could just be stressed, bored, or seeking distraction. But if this behavior becomes a pattern and is accompanied by other signs, it could suggest your partner is straying from the relationship.

4) They’ve become more secretive

A certain level of privacy is healthy in a relationship. However, when it shifts into secrecy, it may be a cause for concern.

If your partner has started hiding their phone screen, taking calls in private, or being vague about their whereabouts, it may indicate they’re straying from the relationship.

Their actions might make you feel like you’re being kept in the dark, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and mistrust.

Remember, this is just another sign, not a confirmation. It’s essential to approach these situations with care and have a genuine conversation with your partner about your concerns.

5) They’ve stopped sharing their thoughts and feelings

I recall a time when my partner and I used to share our deepest thoughts, feelings, and dreams with each other. It was a beautiful part of our relationship that made us feel connected on a profound level.

Then, there came a phase where he stopped sharing. His thoughts, his feelings, his dreams – all of it seemed to be locked away somewhere I could no longer reach. It felt like he was slowly drifting away from me.

If your partner has stopped sharing their thoughts and feelings with you, it could be a sign that they’re emotionally disconnecting from the relationship.

6) They’re avoiding future commitments

Planning for the future is a key part of any serious relationship. Whether it’s discussing a summer vacation, a friend’s wedding, or even where to spend the holidays, these conversations show that you both see each other in your futures.

However, if your partner starts to avoid these discussions or becomes non-committal about future plans, it could be a subtle sign they’re pulling away from the relationship.

7) They’ve lost interest in intimacy

Intimacy is about more than just physical connection. It’s about emotional closeness, shared experiences, and mutual vulnerability. If your partner starts to pull away from these intimate moments, it could be a sign they’re straying from the relationship.

This isn’t just about less sex, although that can be a part of it. It’s about feeling less connected, less understood, and less valued by your partner.

Final thoughts: It’s about communication

Understanding human relationships and emotions often comes down to one crucial element: communication.

The subtle signs that your partner may be straying from the relationship are not definite proof of infidelity. They are indicators that there might be some issues that need addressing, and the most effective way to do this is through open, honest dialogue.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert, asserts that the key to a successful relationship is a deep friendship characterized by mutual respect and enjoyment of each other’s company.

If these signs resonate with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is being unfaithful. It might mean that you need to reconnect, rekindle that friendship, and rebuild the bridges of communication.

Take these signs as cues to introspect and communicate. After all, every relationship has its ups and downs. It’s how we navigate these challenges that truly counts.

Picture of Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore

Tara Whitmore is a psychologist based in Melbourne, with a passion for helping people build healthier relationships and navigate life’s emotional ups and downs. Her articles blend practical psychology with relatable insights, offering readers guidance on everything from communication skills to managing stress in everyday life. When Tara isn’t busy writing or working with clients, she loves to unwind by practicing yoga or trying her hand at pottery—anything that lets her get creative and stay mindful.

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