Friendships should provide support, encouragement, and joy.
However, some relationships may harbor hidden feelings of jealousy.
This emotion can manifest in subtle yet telling behaviors, often revealing a friend’s true feelings about your success.
By paying attention to certain signs, you can better understand the dynamics of your friendships.
This article outlines 8 indicators that may suggest a friend is envious of you and might secretly wish to see you fail.
1) They downplay your achievements
Jealousy is a complex emotion, often presenting itself in subtle ways.
One of the most common ways is how a friend reacts to your success.
You’ve worked hard, you’ve achieved something big—but instead of sharing in your joy, they’re quick to trivialize your accomplishments.
It’s not always outright dismissal.
Sometimes, it’s a casual remark that belittles your effort or an offhand comment that implies anyone could have done what you did.
If they constantly downplay your achievements instead of celebrating them, it may be time to reassess the friendship.
2) They’re missing when you need them most
Now this is a tough pill to swallow.
You’ve had a rough day, you’re battling some personal demons, and you reach out to your friend—but they’re nowhere to be found.
I’ve experienced this myself.
There was this one time, when I had a significant project deadline looming over me.
I was stressed, anxious and all I needed was a comforting chat with my so-called friend.
I reached out, but they were suddenly too busy to talk or even text.
When the dust settled, and I finally managed to pull off the project successfully, they reappeared—as if nothing had happened.
A friend who consistently disappears when you’re in need, but magically reappears when things are going well, might be more interested in your failures than your wellbeing.
It’s a painful realization that might warrant a second look at your friendship.
3) They revel in your missteps
The legendary basketball player, Michael Jordan, once said, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
We all stumble, mess up, and make mistakes; it’s part of being human and it’s how we grow.
But what if your friend seems to take a little too much pleasure in your slip-ups?
I remember a time when I failed miserably at an attempt to start my own business.
It was a tough time, and I needed support—but instead of offering a comforting word or two, this friend seemed almost gleeful about my predicament.
It was as if they were saying, “I knew you couldn’t do it.”
A friend who finds joy in your failures, instead of standing by you during tough times, might not be rooting for you as much as you think.
4) They copy your moves
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they say.
But when it becomes excessive, it might be pointing towards something else—jealousy.
Psychologists have found that people who are secretly envious often imitate the object of their envy.
They start dressing like you, talking like you, or even picking up your habits and interests.
I started to notice this with a friend who began mirroring my style, my choice of books, and even my career aspirations.
It felt flattering at first, but then it started feeling uncomfortable—almost like they were trying to outdo me in my own game.
5) They never seem truly happy for you
Genuine happiness for a friend’s success is a clear sign of a healthy friendship.
But what if every time you share your good news, they respond with a lukewarm “that’s nice” or change the subject altogether?
Could it be that they’re not really happy for you?
I’ve been there.
I landed my dream job, and all I got was a half-hearted congratulations followed by a quick subject change.
It didn’t feel right at all!
It made me question whether they truly cared about my achievements or if something deeper was at play.
I started to notice a pattern—every time something positive happened in my life, their reactions seemed distant, indifferent, or even dismissive.
But the more it happened, the more it became clear: it wasn’t about the day or the circumstances—it was about them.
Friendship, at its core, should be about mutual support and genuine happiness for each other’s successes!
6) They’re quick to point out your flaws
No one’s perfect, and a good friend will gently help you recognize and work on your shortcomings.
But there’s a difference between constructive criticism and constant, uninvited critique.
I once had a friend who was always ready to point out my flaws.
Whether it was my fashion choices, my work ethic, or even my taste in music, nothing ever seemed good enough.
Their comments were often cloaked in humor or passed off as friendly advice, but the underlying tone was hard to miss.
If your friend is always quick to highlight your flaws and rarely acknowledges your strengths, it might be a sign of jealousy.
7) They make you feel guilty for your success
In a thriving friendship, your achievements should be a cause for celebration, not guilt.
But there was this one friend who always managed to make me feel guilty about my successes.
Whether it was a promotion at work or buying a new car, they always found a way to make it seem as though I was flaunting my success or being insensitive to their situation.
They would often say things like, “Must be nice to have such luck,” or “I wish I had your opportunities,” making me feel uncomfortable about my accomplishments.
8) You feel drained after spending time with them
A healthy friendship should leave you feeling energized and uplifted, not drained and distressed.
But with this particular friend, I always felt emotionally exhausted after our interactions.
Their constant negativity, their need to compete, their lack of genuine support—it all left me feeling worn out and uneasy.
If spending time with a friend feels more like an emotional rollercoaster than a source of comfort and joy, it might be time to reassess the relationship.
Their constant need for drama and negativity could be a sign of underlying jealousy.
It’s their subtle way of hoping for your downfall while disguising it as concern or friendly rivalry.
Final thoughts
Being aware of jealousy in friendships is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
Signs such as downplaying your achievements, avoiding you in times of need, and constantly pointing out your flaws can indicate deeper issues.
It’s important to foster connections with those who celebrate your successes and support you through challenges.
By recognizing these negative behaviors, you can make informed decisions about your relationships and focus on nurturing those that uplift you.
Ultimately, surrounding yourself with genuinely supportive friends will contribute to your personal growth and happiness!
