Have you ever walked into a room full of new faces and wondered how to make a memorable impression right away?
It’s amazing how quickly people form opinions, often within mere seconds of meeting us.
In that brief window, everything from our posture to our tone of voice can influence whether we come across as confident, approachable, or the exact opposite.
Yet most of us only realize this after the fact, when we’re replaying the encounter in our heads and wishing we’d done something differently.
I’ve been there countless times—smiling too hard, talking too fast, or second-guessing every word I say.
Over time, I learned that the key to shining in those first few moments isn’t about trying harder or putting on a show. It’s about eliminating certain reflexes we don’t even notice we have.
The good news? Once we spot them, letting them go becomes a lot simpler, and making a positive impact on new acquaintances feels much more natural.
Let’s take a look at these behaviors.
1. Hiding behind your phone
I know how tempting it is to fiddle with your phone as a nervous habit.
A ding or buzz can serve as the perfect excuse to drop eye contact and look busy, especially in an awkward moment.
But constantly checking notifications or scrolling through social media can send the message that you’re uninterested or even bored.
I’ve noticed this at events where everyone’s waiting for the guest of honor to arrive. A few folks might be genuinely engaged, chatting away, while others stand off to the side, glued to their screens.
An interesting study I read a while back suggested that the presence of a phone during a face-to-face conversation negatively affects the quality of the interaction.
No matter how smooth your conversation, being unable to resist your device can undercut the connection you’re trying to build.
2. Apologizing needlessly
Saying “sorry” has its place—especially when you genuinely messed up or hurt someone’s feelings.
But many of us (myself included, at times) fall into the trap of apologizing for things beyond our control or for simply existing in someone else’s space.
Back when I was training intensively, I’d often find myself saying “sorry” if I took up space in the gym or if I needed a turn on a machine.
It came from a place of politeness, but it often made me appear uncertain of my right to be there.
Apologizing for trivial things can diminish your presence and confidence within seconds.
Instead, try using expressions like “excuse me” or “thanks for waiting.”
These phrases maintain courtesy without suggesting guilt or a sense that you’re infringing on people by simply being around.
3. Launching into a complaint
You’ve probably encountered someone who, upon first meeting, dives right into how awful their day has been or how tedious their work is.
While venting can feel momentarily satisfying, it can also set a negative tone from the get-go.
Research shows that our mood can be contagious. If you immediately bring the conversation down by complaining, the person you’re talking to might subconsciously associate that negativity with you.
That’s not to say you need to be artificially chipper. But it helps to keep initial conversations light, curious, and open.
By focusing on shared interests or positive observations, you become someone people want to keep talking to, rather than someone they can’t wait to escape.
4. Fidgeting or avoiding eye contact
Fidgeting is often a direct byproduct of nervous energy. I’ve certainly found myself fiddling with my fingers or glancing at the floor when I’m in unfamiliar territory.
The problem is that these habits make you appear anxious and disengaged.
Eye contact, when balanced, shows interest and focus. I say “balanced” because you don’t want to stare intensely and unblinkingly.
A comfortable amount of eye contact, interspersed with brief breaks, can signal confidence and attentiveness.
I like to think of it as a way of saying “I’m present” without uttering a word.
And truth be told, it works both ways—when someone locks in on you with genuine interest, it’s hard not to feel valued and heard.
5. Trying too hard to impress with bragging
There’s a difference between sharing your achievements in context and dominating a conversation with all the reasons you’re amazing.
It’s natural to want to put your best foot forward, especially in those first few seconds.
But if the bulk of your opening lines are about your accolades, it can feel off-putting.
During my years competing in sports, I encountered people who’d rattle off their stats, trophies, and success stories within moments of introducing themselves.
Yes, they were accomplished, but they came across as self-absorbed rather than intriguing or motivating.
Don’t make that mistake–let your genuine enthusiasm and curiosity shine instead of trying to force admiration.
People will naturally sense your competence without you having to hammer it home.
6. Talking endlessly without listening
We’ve all been in that conversation where one person dominates every moment, barely pausing for a breath, let alone a response.
It can feel like you’re an audience member rather than a conversation partner.
And it’s a surefire way to make others tune you out before you’ve even made a real connection.
When I started giving wellness talks, I had to learn the art of pacing myself. I’d get so excited to share tips and anecdotes that I’d forget to invite questions or feedback from the crowd.
Over time, I realized how important it is to pause, ask for input, and genuinely absorb what others are saying.
A balanced exchange leaves both parties feeling heard and valued.
If you find yourself running on autopilot in a conversation, try pausing to ask the other person a question.
Better yet, reflect on what they said before diving back into your own story.
7. Oversharing personal drama
Being authentic is great. Being vulnerable can create incredible bonds, as Brene Brown has said.
But there’s a line between open honesty and dumping every personal struggle on someone you just met.
I’ve witnessed situations where someone launches into a deeply personal family issue or a string of messy relationships within minutes of meeting a new colleague or acquaintance.
While it may come from a desire for connection, it often backfires and makes people uncomfortable.
Building rapport is a process. Give yourself and the other person time to establish a foundation before diving into your heaviest topics.
That way, when you do share something intimate, it feels more like a genuine exchange and less like an emotional ambush.
Wrapping up
None of us are perfect when it comes to first impressions. I’ve definitely caught myself scrolling on my phone mid-conversation or blurting out a complaint about the weather when meeting someone new.
Yet, these habits can undermine the very connections we’re trying to create.
Luckily, they’re all within our power to change. Something as small as putting your phone away or shifting from “sorry” to “thank you” can transform the energy in those crucial early moments.
And while we can’t control how others perceive us, we can take steps to ensure we’re showing up as our most genuine, respectful, and engaging selves.
It’s the little tweaks that often create the biggest differences.
So, if you want to leave a positive, lasting impact from the start, consider saying goodbye to these seven habits and watch how your interactions begin to flourish.
