Public speaking isn’t just about knowing what to say—it’s about how you say it.
Confidence doesn’t come from memorizing lines or forcing yourself to be louder; it comes from letting go of the habits that hold you back.
Many people think they’re just bad at speaking, but in reality, they’ve picked up patterns that make them seem unsure, hesitant, or even unconvincing.
The good news? These habits aren’t permanent. Once you recognize them, you can start making small shifts that instantly improve how you come across.
If you really want to become a confident speaker, it’s time to drop these eight habits that are secretly working against you. Let’s dive in.
1. Overthinking every word
Confidence in public speaking is like a three-legged stool. There’s knowledge, preparation, and then there’s the tricky part – delivering your speech without getting tripped up by your own thoughts.
We’ve all been there. You’re standing in front of the crowd, your palms start to sweat and suddenly every word feels like a tongue twister waiting to happen.
Maybe you’re constantly second-guessing your choice of words, or over-analyzing each sentence until it loses its original meaning. This is what I like to call the “overthinking trap“.
If you want to become a confident speaker, it’s time to kick this habit to the curb.
Yes, your words matter. But not every single one has to be a home run. Sometimes, it’s just about conveying your message authentically and clearly.
So, if you find yourself analyzing every word that leaves your mouth, consider this your sign. It’s time for a change. Let go of overthinking and embrace the freedom of speaking your mind. Trust me, it’ll make a world of difference.
2. Fear of making mistakes
Let’s be honest, nobody enjoys the taste of their own foot in their mouth. But if you’re like me, at some point you’ve let the fear of making a mistake keep you from speaking up.
I can still remember my first big presentation. I was so terrified of stumbling over my words or forgetting my lines that I practically memorized the entire script word for word.
But guess what happened? I was so focused on not making a mistake that I ended up sounding robotic and distant.
The truth is, we’re all human and we all make mistakes. Even the most experienced speakers trip over their words or lose their train of thought occasionally.
The key to being a confident speaker isn’t avoiding mistakes altogether—it’s learning how to handle them gracefully.
The next time you mispronounce a word or forget your next point, instead of panicking, just smile, correct yourself, and move on. It’s these moments of authenticity that actually make us more relatable to our audience.
3. Avoiding eye contact
Now, let’s be honest, maintaining eye contact while speaking in public can feel a bit like standing on a high wire without a safety net.
There was a time when I used to scan the tops of people’s heads, or worse, stare at the wall at the back of the room. My fear was that if I looked into someone’s eyes, they would be able to see my nerves, my doubts, and my insecurities.
But here’s what I’ve learned – avoiding eye contact doesn’t hide your fears; it magnifies them.
When we make eye contact with our audience, we create a connection. We’re not just talking at them; we’re talking with them. We’re inviting them into our thoughts and our stories.
So yes, it might feel uncomfortable at first. But trust me, once you embrace this practice, your confidence as a speaker will skyrocket.
4. Relying on notes too much
Did you know that relying too heavily on your notes can actually interfere with your ability to deliver a powerful and engaging speech?
It’s true. I’m sure we’ve all witnessed a speaker who’s glued to their notes, hardly ever looking up, their voice monotone and devoid of emotion. It’s like watching a robot recite a shopping list – hardly the kind of compelling keynote we aspire to give.
Now, don’t get me wrong, notes are a great tool for speakers. They can help you organize your thoughts, remember key points, and stay on track. But when we use them as a crutch, that’s when they become a problem.
You see, the more you rely on your notes, the less you’re able to connect with your audience. And connection, as we’ve discussed earlier, is key to powerful speaking.
So next time you’re giving a speech or presentation, challenge yourself to step away from your notes. Trust in your abilities.
You know your material better than anyone else. Let the words flow naturally and see how much more confident you feel.
5. Neglecting your body language
When we talk about public speaking, we often focus on what we say. But what about how we say it?
You might have the most eloquent speech written down, but if your body language doesn’t match your words, it can create a disconnect for your audience.
Once, I was giving a presentation about how excited I was about a new project. However, my arms were crossed, my shoulders were hunched and my eyes were downcast.
Even though my words were full of enthusiasm, my body language was shouting “I’m not interested!”. Needless to say, my message didn’t land as well as I’d hoped.
Our body language can often speak louder than our words. It can convey confidence, or it can betray our nervousness. It can draw people in, or it can push them away.
If you’re serious about becoming a confident speaker, don’t forget to use body language to your advantage.
Stand tall. Use open gestures. Make eye contact. Show the audience that you believe in what you’re saying and they’ll be more likely to believe it too.
6. Speaking too fast
Have you ever noticed how when we’re nervous, we tend to speak more quickly? It’s as if we’re in a race to get through our speech and escape the spotlight as soon as possible.
I remember a time when I was asked to present at a large conference. I was so anxious that my words came out in a rush, like a runaway train. By the end of it, I was out of breath and my audience was left dazed and confused.
But here’s the thing – when we speed through our speech, our message gets lost. Our audience can’t keep up, they miss key points and before long, they disengage.
Speaking slowly and clearly not only makes your message more digestible, but it also gives you a chance to breathe and gather your thoughts. It shows that you’re comfortable, composed, and in control – all key attributes of a confident speaker.
So next time you’re about to step onto the stage, take a deep breath and slow down. Let your words sink in. Give your audience the chance to fully understand and appreciate your message.
7. Ignoring feedback
Feedback can be a tough pill to swallow, especially when it comes to something as personal as public speaking.
But feedback is exactly what we need if we want to improve.
No matter how good you become, there’s always room for improvement. And sometimes, we need an outside perspective to point out the things we’re too close to see.
Listen to what others have to say, consider their perspective, and use it to refine your skills.
Remember, becoming a confident speaker is a journey, not a destination. And every piece of feedback you receive is just another step on that path.
8. Neglecting self-care
It might seem odd to discuss self-care in an article about public speaking. But believe me, it’s more relevant than you might think.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen speakers, myself included, neglect their wellbeing in the run-up to a big presentation. Late nights spent rehearsing, skipping meals, ignoring exercise – all in the name of perfection.
But here’s the thing: your physical wellbeing directly affects your mental state. And if you’re tired, hungry or stressed, it’s going to show in your performance.
Taking care of yourself isn’t just about maintaining your health; it’s about ensuring that you’re in the best possible shape to deliver your message. A well-rested, well-nourished speaker is a confident speaker.
So prioritize self-care. Get enough sleep and eat nutritious food. Take time to relax and decompress.
Not only will you feel better, but your performances will improve too.
Final thoughts
Recognizing these habits in your own public speaking can be a sobering moment. But the beauty of habits is that they can be changed.
Start by taking a hard look at your own speaking style. Do you overthink every word? Do you speak too quickly? Are you neglecting self-care in the run-up to your speeches?
Acknowledge these habits without judgment. Remember, awareness is the first step towards change.
Once you’ve identified your habits, start making small changes. Maybe that means slowing down your speech, or maybe it means taking better care of yourself before a big presentation.
Change won’t happen overnight. Like any skill, becoming a confident speaker takes time and practice. But with each speech, each presentation, each conversation, you’ll get better.
So keep practicing, keep learning, and most importantly, keep speaking. Because the world needs to hear what you have to say.
