We all know someone who is perpetually a victim, never at fault and always pointing the finger elsewhere. Those who dodge responsibility and shift blame are usually easy to spot.
Their behavior tends to follow a predictable pattern. And I’ve discovered that there are eight behaviors that seem to be common among them.
This is a glimpse into the world of those who refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Keep reading to find out how you can identify these behaviors and perhaps, understand their causes.
1) They’re always the victim
Have you ever met someone who seems to be plagued by an unending streak of bad luck? No matter what happens, they are always the victim, and never at fault.
This is a common trait among those who habitually shift blame and avoid responsibility. They see themselves as the hapless victims of circumstances, of other people’s actions, and even of their own mistakes.
In their narrative, they are never the ones driving the action but are instead constantly buffeted by forces beyond their control.
Their stories often involve a lot of drama, with them cast in the starring role as the innocent victim. This way, they expertly sidestep any responsibility for what happens in their lives.
It’s not about blaming people for their misfortunes. It’s about recognizing when they consistently dodge accountability by painting themselves as perpetual victims.
2) They’re experts at deflecting
I once had a friend named Mark who was a master deflector. He would always find a way to shift the focus away from himself whenever he was in a sticky situation.
For instance, when we were in college, he missed a crucial project deadline that we were both working on. Mark didn’t apologize for his mistake. Instead, he blamed the professor for not giving us enough time and even tried to pin some of the blame on me for not reminding him about the deadline.
This is a classic example of someone who avoids taking responsibility. Instead of owning up to his mistake, Mark deflected the blame onto others. It’s a common behavior trait among those who refuse to take accountability for their actions. By shifting the blame, they avoid the discomfort of having to admit their mistakes and face potential consequences.
3) They’re prone to making excuses
Excuses are the go-to tool for those who refuse to take responsibility. They’ll always have a reason, a justification, or an explanation that conveniently absolves them from any blame.
Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that individuals who often make excuses are more likely to engage in a behavior called “self-handicapping”. This is where they purposely sabotage their own performance to create an excuse in case they fail.
This means that not only do they avoid taking responsibility for their actions, but they may also be setting themselves up for failure from the get-go. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts: they believe they’ll fail, so they create conditions that lead to that failure. Then when failure occurs, they’ve got their ready-made excuse. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps them stuck in a rut of non-accountability.
4) They have a knack for twisting the truth
People who avoid taking responsibility often have a talent for bending the truth to their advantage. They can be incredibly creative in how they present facts, often tweaking or omitting details to suit their narrative.
This isn’t necessarily about outright lying – although that can certainly be part of it. More often, it’s about selective truth-telling. They’ll highlight the aspects that make them look good and conveniently forget about the parts that don’t.
This habit of distorting reality serves a dual purpose: it helps them maintain their image of innocence, and it further distances them from any responsibility. After all, if they can convince others (and themselves) that things didn’t really happen the way they did, then they can avoid having to face any consequences.
5) They struggle with self-reflection
At the core of those who continually shift blame and evade responsibility is often a deep-seated struggle with self-reflection.
For some, the prospect of looking inward, acknowledging their flaws, and accepting their part in a situation can be incredibly daunting. It’s easier to cast blame elsewhere than confront the discomfort that comes with self-awareness.
This lack of self-reflection can create a barrier to personal growth and emotional maturity. It can hinder relationships, stall career progression, and impact every facet of their lives.
Until they can break through this barrier and develop the courage to look within, they may remain stuck in a cycle of blame-shifting and responsibility-dodging. It’s a tough journey, but one that is crucial for their development and peace of mind.
6) They’re resistant to criticism
For a long time, I struggled to accept criticism, even when it was constructive. I would immediately go on the defensive, trying to justify my actions or shift the blame elsewhere.
This kind of resistance is a common trait among those who avoid taking responsibility. They view criticism as a personal attack rather than an opportunity for growth.
Responding to criticism requires acknowledging that we might have been wrong, which isn’t easy for anyone. But for those who habitually dodge responsibility, it can feel almost impossible. They’d rather deflect, deny or dismiss the critique than confront the possibility that they might need to change.
Over time, I’ve learned to see criticism as a tool for improvement rather than a weapon used against me. But it wasn’t an easy journey, and it’s one that many people still struggle with.
7) They lack empathy for others
Empathy requires an understanding and sharing of another person’s feelings. It’s about putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes and appreciating their perspective.
However, those who constantly shift blame and avoid responsibility often struggle with empathy. They’re so focused on protecting their own image and shirking responsibility that they fail to consider how their actions might affect others.
By not acknowledging their role in a situation, they can cause harm and distress to those around them. This lack of empathy can damage relationships and create a cycle of negativity that’s hard to break.
To step into accountability, it’s crucial to develop empathy – to see beyond oneself and understand the impact of one’s actions on others.
8) They rarely apologize
An apology is a powerful thing. It acknowledges our mistakes, takes responsibility for our actions, and begins the process of healing and reconciliation.
Those who routinely dodge responsibility, however, are often noticeably stingy with their apologies. They’re either non-existent, or they’re the infamous “non-apology” apologies – you know, the ones that sound more like justifications than sincere expressions of remorse.
Apologizing means admitting we were wrong, something that people who shift blame are usually unwilling to do. But without this crucial step, it’s impossible to move forward, learn from our errors, and grow as individuals.
So if you encounter someone who seems allergic to saying “I’m sorry”, there’s a good chance they’re stuck in a blame-shifting, responsibility-dodging mindset. And if you find that person is you, remember – it’s never too late to change.
