Have you ever caught yourself falling into the same pattern, making the same mistakes over and over, despite knowing better?
I know I have.
Whether it’s in relationships, career choices, or personal habits, it can feel like you’re stuck on a loop, trying to break free but never quite succeeding.
What’s even more frustrating is that you can see the mistakes happening — and yet, they still happen.
After diving deep into psychology, I discovered that there are subtle behaviors we all tend to display when we’re repeating the same mistakes, without even realizing it.
In this article, I’m going to share those 7 behaviors with you, so you can recognize them in yourself and start shifting the patterns holding you back.
1) Lack of self-awareness
We all have blind spots. But for individuals stuck in a cycle of error, these blind spots seem to be bigger and more plentiful.
They often fail to understand how their actions impact others, or even themselves. They might tell themselves they’re just ‘unlucky’, or that other people are always to blame for their misfortunes.
But the truth is, without a clear understanding of our own behaviors and how they affect our lives, we’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes.
Self-awareness is key to breaking this cycle. It involves:
- Acknowledging our flaws
- Understanding our motivations
- Recognizing the patterns we fall into
You can start cultivating self-awareness by simply reflecting on your actions each day. Ask yourself: What went well? What didn’t? What part did I play in the outcome?
By doing this regularly, you’ll start to see the patterns in your behavior – and that’s the first step towards changing them.
2) Ignoring feedback
The second behavior is a tendency to ignore or disregard feedback.
I remember a time in my own life when I was launching Hack Spirit. I was so certain that my ideas were brilliant and perfect, I dismissed any suggestions or critiques that didn’t fit with my vision.
It was only when I stumbled upon a quote from the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers that I started to see the error in my ways. He said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
I realized that by rejecting feedback, I was closing myself off to learning and growth. I was setting myself up to repeat the same mistakes without even realizing it.
Feedback, whether it’s negative or positive, is a gift. It’s an opportunity to learn about ourselves and our actions from an outside perspective.
So, consider every piece of feedback you receive. Reflect on it, learn from it and use it as a stepping stone to improve and evolve.
3) Fear of change
Another common behavior that leads to repeated mistakes is fear of change.
I’ve been there myself. After spending years in the corporate world, the idea of starting my own business was terrifying.
It was easier to keep doing what I was doing, despite the dissatisfaction and frustration it was causing me.
But as I learned, sticking with the status quo out of fear only leads to more of the same.
Change is inevitable, and it’s often where growth happens. If we’re too afraid to step out of our comfort zones, we’ll likely find ourselves repeating the same mistakes over and over again.
It’s not easy to overcome this fear.
But by taking small steps towards change, and by reminding myself that every failure is an opportunity to learn, I was finally able to break free from my own cycle of repetition and start moving forward.
4) Neglecting self-care
We often overlook the importance of taking care of ourselves, but it plays a significant role in our ability to learn from our mistakes.
I remember a time when I was so focused on work that I neglected my physical health. I was eating poorly, barely sleeping, and not exercising.
Unsurprisingly, this took a toll on my mental health too.
And guess what?
My ability to make good decisions plummeted. I found myself making the same mistakes again and again.
Research backs up this personal observation. A study published in the “Journal of Experimental Psychology” found that sleep deprivation significantly impairs our ability to make sound decisions and learn from our mistakes.
The lesson here is clear: If we want to break the cycle of repeating mistakes, we need to prioritize self-care. That means:
- Getting enough sleep
- Eating well
- Exercising regularly
- Taking time out for relaxation and fun
5) Unwillingness to take responsibility
It’s much easier to blame circumstances or other people when things go wrong. But doing so robs us of the chance to learn and grow from our mistakes.
When we take responsibility for our actions, we acknowledge that we have the power to change things. We recognize that the way we react to situations plays a big part in the outcomes we experience.
I learned this lesson the hard way when a project I was leading at Hack Spirit failed.
Instead of blaming external factors, I took a hard look at my own actions and realized there were things I could have done differently.
Taking responsibility was tough, but it was also empowering. It helped me learn valuable lessons that have since guided my decisions and actions, preventing me from repeating the same mistakes.
6) Negative self-talk
The sixth common behavior is negative self-talk.
I’m no stranger to this. There was a time when I was constantly berating myself, saying things like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed.”
This kind of self-talk only led me to repeat the same mistakes, because I was convincing myself that I couldn’t do any better.
One day I heard this quote; “The words you speak to yourself shape your self-perception. Your self-perception shapes your actions. Your actions shape your life.”
These words hit home for me. I realized the power of my own self-talk and decided to change it.
Now, when I catch myself engaging in negative self-talk, I challenge those thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations.
This shift in mindset has helped me break free from old patterns and avoid repeating past mistakes.
7) Over-reliance on memory
The final behavior might sound counterintuitive: over-reliance on memory.
Yes, learning from mistakes requires us to remember them. But relying solely on our memory can actually lead us to repeat those mistakes.
Our memories aren’t perfect. Memories can be influenced by our emotions, biases, and even subsequent events. This means we might not remember our mistakes as accurately as we think.
I learned this the hard way when I trusted my memory of a past business failure to avoid making the same mistake again. I ended up repeating it because my recollection was skewed by my emotions at the time.
So what’s the solution?
Keep a journal. Write down your mistakes, your reactions, and the lessons learned.
This will give you a more objective record to refer back to and can help prevent you from falling into the same traps in the future.
Conclusion
Repeating the same mistakes can be frustrating, but it’s not a life sentence. By recognizing the behaviors that keep you stuck, you can begin to make small but powerful adjustments that will shift the course of your life.
As psychology teaches us, self-awareness is crucial. Keep reflecting on your actions, continue learning, and most importantly, be kind to yourself during this journey.
Whenever you find yourself about to repeat a familiar mistake, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: is this behavior serving me?
The more you practice this awareness, the easier it becomes to break free and step into a brighter, more intentional future.
