When someone avoids you at the water cooler, you know they’re not your biggest fan. When your colleague rolls their eyes at your ideas, you know they’re not exactly on your side.
That’s office politics 101 for you.
Yet, things aren’t always that straightforward. The world of workplace relationships can be a labyrinth of subtleties and unspoken rules.
It’s easy to unintentionally rub people the wrong way and find yourself out in the cold.
The people who often find themselves in this predicament tend to show certain behaviors. And more often than not, they don’t even realize they’re doing it.
1) They’re often oblivious to their impact on others
Workplace harmony is a tricky thing.
It requires a certain level of self-awareness and understanding of how your actions affect those around you. But let’s face it, not everyone has that.
Some people, without even realizing it, constantly alienate their coworkers by being completely oblivious to the impact their actions have on others.
They might interrupt during meetings, dismiss others’ ideas or constantly talk about themselves, creating a toxic work environment.
And the worst part? They have no clue that they’re doing it.
This lack of awareness can create a significant disconnect between them and their coworkers, leading to feelings of alienation and tension in the workplace.
And before they know it, they’re the office pariah.
2) They’re prone to constant negativity
Let me tell you a story.
There was a guy at my old job, let’s call him Joe. Now, Joe was a hard worker and had a lot of knowledge about the industry, but there was one thing that set everyone on edge – his constant negativity.
Every morning, like clockwork, Joe would walk in and start the day with a complaint. Too cold, too hot, too much work, not enough coffee – you name it, he had a problem with it. And as the day wore on, his gripes just escalated.
In his mind, he was just being “realistic” or “honest”. But to the rest of us, his relentless negativity was a drain on our energy and morale.
It created an atmosphere that was downright depressing and ultimately ended up alienating him from the rest of the team.
3) They’re resistant to change
Change is the only constant in life, and this applies to the workplace as well. With the rapid advancement of technology and shifts in organizational structures, adaptability has become a crucial trait in today’s working world.
But some people just can’t seem to keep up.
They’re stuck in their ways, insisting on doing things the way they’ve always been done, even when it’s clear that a change would be beneficial. They often dismiss new ideas or strategies without giving them a fair chance.
Now here’s something you might not know. According to Harvard Business Review, employees who resist change are viewed as less competent by their colleagues. This perceived lack of competence often leads to social exclusion and alienation in the workplace.
So, without even realizing it, these change-resistant individuals are pushing their coworkers away, all because they’re unwilling to adapt and evolve with the times.
4) They fail to acknowledge others’ contributions
We all like to be recognized for our hard work, right?
It creates a sense of validation and boosts our morale. But some people have a knack for overlooking the efforts of their coworkers. They rarely say “thank you”, hardly ever compliment and mostly focus on pointing out mistakes.
This lack of acknowledgment can make colleagues feel undervalued and unappreciated. It creates a rift that widens over time, leading to feelings of resentment and alienation.
The irony is, these people often don’t realize the impact of their actions. They might think they’re just being professional or holding high standards, but in reality, they’re just pushing their coworkers away.
Remember, a little appreciation goes a long way in maintaining healthy workplace relationships.
5) They don’t respect boundaries
I’ve always believed that respecting personal boundaries is crucial, especially in a workplace setting. Everyone has their comfort zone, their personal space, and it’s important to not intrude upon that.
There are some people though, who simply don’t get this. They may constantly hover over your desk, go through your personal belongings, or even bombard you with messages outside of work hours.
I remember a coworker who used to do just that. She would always be peeping over my shoulder, commenting on my emails, and even once scrolled through my phone without asking!
Without realizing it, she was invading my personal space and making me feel uncomfortable. And it wasn’t just me – the entire team felt the same way about her.
6) They’re overly agreeable
Now, you might think that being agreeable is a good thing, right? It shows that you’re easy to get along with and that you’re a team player.
However, there’s a fine line between being agreeable and being overly agreeable.
The people who are always saying “yes” to everything, who never voice their own opinions or concerns, and who always go along with the crowd can actually end up alienating themselves from their coworkers.
Why? Because it’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t stand up for what they believe in. It’s also difficult to connect with someone on a deeper level if they never express their true thoughts and feelings.
7) They don’t participate in social activities
Workplace culture isn’t just about what happens during work hours. It’s also about the camaraderie that’s built during coffee breaks, team lunches, and office parties.
However, some people choose to distance themselves from these social activities. They prefer to eat lunch at their desk or skip out on after-work gatherings.
While it’s completely okay to want some alone time, consistently avoiding social interactions can send the wrong message to colleagues.
It can come across as disinterest or aloofness, leading coworkers to feel that the person is not invested in building relationships with them.
And so, these individuals find themselves isolated from the rest of the team.
The takeaway? Participating in social activities, even occasionally, can go a long way in fostering stronger bonds with coworkers.
8) They lack empathy
At the heart of all strong relationships is empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
In a workplace setting, having empathy means acknowledging your coworkers’ perspectives, showing compassion when they’re going through tough times, and celebrating their successes.
However, some people struggle with this. They might dismiss others’ problems, show little interest in their coworkers’ lives, or fail to show appreciation for their efforts.
This lack of empathy can create a cold, impersonal environment that leaves coworkers feeling unsupported and alienated.
These individuals are building walls between themselves and their colleagues, making it difficult to form meaningful connections.
Empathy, therefore, is not just a nice-to-have trait – it’s essential for nurturing positive workplace relationships.
Final thoughts
It’s important to understand that everyone has a role to play in creating a healthy, positive work environment. We need to be aware of how our actions and words can affect others, and strive to be more empathetic, respectful and open-minded.
As the famous author Stephen R. Covey said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
If we switch our focus from replying to understanding, we’ll already be making a huge step towards creating better relationships at work.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about what we do, but how we make others feel that truly defines us as coworkers and as individuals.
So let’s be conscious of our behaviors and strive to build bridges, not walls, in our workplaces.
