People who are excellent at small talk always use these 10 phrases

Navigating the world of small talk can feel like a daunting maze. It’s all about striking the right balance – you want to be engaging, but not overwhelming.

The secret? It’s all in the words we choose. Those who excel at small talk, know exactly what phrases to drop into a conversation to keep things flowing smoothly.

Stick around, as I share 10 phrases that are always on the tip of a small talk expert’s tongue. Trust me, these can be your game-changers!

1) “How’s your day going?”

Let’s start with the basics.

Small talk is all about casually breaking the ice and creating a comfortable conversation space. And there’s no better way to do that than by showing genuine interest in the other person’s day.

The phrase “How’s your day going?” is a classic for a reason. It’s non-intrusive, yet it opens up the floor for the other person to share as much or as little as they’d like about their day.

Not only does it get the conversation rolling, but it also shows that you care about their experiences.

But remember, sincerity is key. If you ask about someone’s day, be prepared to listen to their response and engage with it. After all, small talk is more about listening than it is about talking.

2) “That reminds me of the time when…”

Adding a personal touch to the conversation can make all the difference. It helps create a connection and shows that you’re not just engaging in small talk for the sake of it.

One phrase I frequently use is, “That reminds me of the time when…”. This phrase not only keeps the conversation going but also allows you to share a bit about yourself, making the chat more engaging and intimate.

For instance, I remember chatting with a colleague about her recent skiing trip. I responded, “That reminds me of the time when I went skiing in Colorado and ended up tumbling down the slope more times than I’d like to admit!” This prompted laughter, and we ended up exchanging more stories about our adventure mishaps.

This phrase can easily steer the conversation towards shared interests and experiences, making small talk much more enjoyable for both parties.

3) “Did you know…?”

Weaving in some intriguing information can add a spark of excitement to any conversation. The phrase “Did you know…?” is a gentle way to introduce such elements into the dialogue.

For instance, if the person you’re conversing with mentions they enjoy gardening, you might respond with, “Did you know that there are around 400,000 different species of plants in the world?” This not only shows that you’re engaged in the conversation, but also introduces a new topic that can be explored further.

The aim is to keep the conversation flowing and engaging. So, always ensure that your fact is relevant and interesting to the other person.

4) “What’s your opinion on…?”

Asking someone for their opinion is a great strategy for keeping a conversation alive. It shows that you value their thoughts and are interested in what they have to say.

The phrase “What’s your opinion on…?” invites them to share their views on a subject, leading to a deeper and more engaging conversation.

For example, if you’re discussing recent movies, you might ask, “What’s your opinion on the latest Marvel movie?” This encourages them to share their thoughts and feelings, leading to a richer discussion.

Just be sure to respect their opinion, even if it differs from yours. After all, the goal of small talk is to build bridges, not walls.

5) “I couldn’t help but notice…”

Observation is a powerful tool in small talk. It can help you come up with topics to discuss and show that you’re attentive.

The phrase “I couldn’t help but notice…” is a gentle way to introduce something you’ve observed. It could be about the person, the surroundings, or even a topic that’s currently trending.

For example, if they’re wearing a band’s t-shirt, you might say, “I couldn’t help but notice your t-shirt. Are you a fan of that band?” This not only shows that you’re attentive, but it also opens up a new topic to discuss.

It’s important to ensure your observations are positive and respectful. The last thing you want is to make the other person uncomfortable.

6) “I really admire how you…”

Compliments can go a long way in a conversation, especially when they’re sincere and specific.

The phrase “I really admire how you…” is perfect for expressing admiration in a genuine and meaningful way. It shows that you’ve been paying attention to their actions or qualities, and it gives them a confidence boost.

For example, if your friend has been talking about their dedication to volunteering, you could say, “I really admire how you invest your personal time into helping others. It’s truly inspiring.”

This heartfelt compliment not only makes them feel good but also deepens your connection with them. Remember, genuine appreciation is always felt and appreciated.

7) “I always get a bit nervous when…”

Opening up about your own feelings can create a sense of trust and understanding in a conversation. It shows the other person that you’re human, too, with your own set of fears and insecurities.

For instance, if you’re at a networking event, you could say something like, “I always get a bit nervous when I have to introduce myself to so many new people.”

This kind of admission helps to break down walls and allows the other person to feel more comfortable around you. It might even encourage them to share their own experiences or fears, deepening the conversation and creating a stronger connection.

8) “I’m not sure if you’d agree but…”

Sometimes, throwing in a slightly unexpected opinion or perspective can stir things up in a good way. It nudges people out of autopilot mode and makes the conversation more memorable.

The phrase “I’m not sure if you’d agree but…” is a respectful way to introduce an alternative viewpoint. It shows that you’re open to hearing their thoughts, even if they differ from your own.

For example, you could say, “I’m not sure if you’d agree but I think sometimes it’s good to disconnect from social media and technology for a while.” This not only adds an interesting twist to the conversation but also opens up the floor for more in-depth discussion.

9) “Can you tell me more about…?”

Encouraging the other person to share more about themselves or their interests is a surefire way to keep a conversation going. It shows that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them better.

The phrase “Can you tell me more about…?” invites the other person to delve deeper into a topic they are passionate about or have knowledge in.

For instance, if someone mentions they love reading, you can say, “Can you tell me more about your favorite book?” This gives them an opportunity to share and express their passion, making the conversation more engaging and meaningful.

10) “It’s been really nice talking to you.”

This might seem like an obvious phrase, but it’s often overlooked. Ending a conversation on a positive note can leave a lasting impression and pave the way for future interactions.

Expressing appreciation for the chat, such as saying “It’s been really nice talking to you”, shows respect and acknowledgement for the other person’s time and contribution to the conversation. It leaves them feeling valued and creates a positive association with your interaction.

The essence of small talk

Peeling back the layers of small talk, we find it’s more than just filling silence or passing time. It’s about connection, understanding, and opening doors to deeper conversations.

The phrases we’ve discussed aren’t just mere words but tools for fostering these connections. They showcase attentiveness, inclusivity, and genuine interest in others’ experiences – qualities that make for meaningful interactions.

Remember, everyone has an interesting story to tell if we take the time to listen. So, the next time you find yourself in a situation requiring small talk, remember these phrases. They could be your ticket to a more engaging conversation.

And who knows? Today’s small talk could be the foundation for tomorrow’s deep connection. In the end, it’s not just about being good at small talk, but about understanding its potential and making the most out of every conversation.

Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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