It’s one of the most challenging aspects of being human:
You’re out there in the world, attempting to navigate through social situations, but something feels… off.
You’ve tried to act naturally, you’ve striven to appear as confident as you can be, but it’s just not landing.
Often, it’s not even that noticeable.
You just have this lingering sense that you’re not entirely comfortable in your own skin, even though you try your best to convince yourself otherwise.
Here’s how to identify the 8 things you might be doing in public that suggest you aren’t fully owning your space and being true to yourself.
It’s gonna be a tough pill to swallow, but acknowledging these can be the first step towards self-confidence and authenticity.
1) You’re constantly adjusting your appearance
It’s a universal human behavior – a quick hair fix, a shirt straightened, a smudge wiped off the face.
But when it becomes a compulsive habit, it might be a sign of something deeper.
You might find yourself constantly checking your reflection in windows or mirrors, always adjusting your outfit or fixing your hair.
It’s like you’re perpetually on stage, under the scrutiny of an invisible audience.
This incessant need to look ‘perfect’ or ‘put-together’ can indicate that you’re not entirely comfortable with just being yourself in public.
If you feel like you’re constantly under pressure to maintain an image, then why are you doing it?
Being comfortable in your own skin means accepting that it’s okay to not always look ‘perfect’.
If you find yourself obsessing over minor details of your appearance, it might be time to reassess and start embracing yourself, as is.
2) You’re overly self-conscious about your body language
Let’s talk about body language – it’s one of those silent communicators that can reveal more about us than we realize.
In my case, I used to have a habit of crossing my arms when I was in social situations.
It was a subconscious action; perhaps I was trying to create a physical barrier between myself and those around me.
I’d be at a party or a networking event, and there I’d be, arms crossed, unconsciously sending out signals of defensiveness or discomfort.
It took some time for me to realize that this was my body’s way of showing that I wasn’t entirely at ease.
If you find yourself adopting certain postures that close you off or make you appear smaller, it might be your body’s way of expressing unease.
Understanding your body language and what it communicates can be a significant step towards feeling more comfortable in your own skin.
3) You’re constantly apologizing for no reason
Now, this reminds me of a quote by Marianne Williamson, a renowned author and speaker, who said: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
Here’s how it ties in: For some of us, it feels like we’re walking on eggshells in social situations.
We say ‘sorry’ excessively, even when there’s no logical need to apologize.
Let’s say you’re at a café and someone bumps into you, spilling your coffee.
Instead of them saying sorry to you, you end up apologizing for being in their way…sound familiar?
This constant apologizing can be an unconscious way of diminishing your own worth or significance.
It’s as though you’re afraid to take up space or cause any inconvenience, even unintentionally.
Being comfortable in your own skin means acknowledging that you have every right to be where you are, without constantly feeling the need to apologize for it.
4) You laugh or smile at inappropriate times
Did you know that laughter and smiling are not only responses to humor or happiness? Sometimes, they can be anxiety responses too.
It’s a peculiar thing, how our bodies react when we’re uncomfortable or anxious.
Let’s say you’re in a tense meeting, and someone drops a file and papers go flying everywhere.
Instead of offering help or simply staying silent, you find yourself laughing or grinning. It isn’t funny, and it’s not meant to be, but there you are, laughing.
This involuntary laughter or smiling can be your body’s way of dealing with discomfort or stress. It’s like a defense mechanism to mask your uneasiness.
If you find yourself laughing or smiling at times when it doesn’t seem fitting, it could be a sign that you’re not entirely at ease in your skin.
Your laughter might just be your body’s way of saying, “Hey, this is uncomfortable.”
5) You avoid eye contact
Eye contact, it’s a small thing but it can reveal so much about us.
When you’re comfortable in your own skin, maintaining eye contact comes naturally. It’s a way of saying, “I’m present, I’m listening, and I’m not afraid to connect.”
But when you’re not comfortable, the very idea of eye contact can feel intimidating.
You might find your gaze constantly drifting away, unable to hold the eyes of the person you’re talking to.
It’s as though you might be exposed if you look someone in the eye for too long.
If you’ve caught yourself avoiding eye contact in public, it could be your subconscious telling you that something isn’t right.
Learning to maintain eye contact can be a big step towards becoming more comfortable with yourself.
After all, the eyes are windows to the soul. What better way to embrace who you are?
6) You avoid voicing your opinions
Voicing your opinions confidently is a sign of being comfortable with who you are. It’s a way of saying, “This is me, and this is what I believe in.”
But when you’re not entirely at ease with yourself, you might find it challenging to express your thoughts openly. It’s like you’re afraid of being judged or misunderstood.
You might be in a group discussion, and even though you have a different viewpoint, you choose to stay silent. Or maybe you agree to things you don’t really believe in, just to avoid conflict.
This reluctance to express your opinions can be an indication that you’re not fully comfortable in your own skin.
If this sounds familiar, it might be time for some self-reflection. Your voice matters. Embrace your thoughts and opinions, they are a part of who you are.
7) You can’t accept compliments graciously
Compliments – they’re supposed to make us feel good, right? But for some of us, they can be a source of discomfort.
Let’s say someone compliments your dress or praises your work. Instead of simply saying ‘thank you’, you might find yourself downplaying the compliment, or worse, deflecting it altogether.
It’s like you’re not comfortable with being acknowledged or appreciated, as though you don’t deserve the praise.
This inability to accept compliments graciously could indicate that you’re not entirely at ease with who you are.
Learning to accept compliments with grace can be a significant step towards being comfortable in your own skin.
After all, it’s about acknowledging your worth and giving yourself permission to shine.
8) You’re always comparing yourself to others
This is a big one. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but when it becomes a constant part of your thought process, it might be a sign that you’re not comfortable in your own skin.
Think about it. You’re at a social gathering and instead of enjoying the moment, your mind is busy measuring up against everyone else in the room.
Is your outfit as stylish as theirs? Are they more successful? More popular?
This continuous comparison can create a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity, preventing you from embracing your unique strengths.
If you find yourself constantly comparing and feeling inferior, it might be time to shift focus.
Being comfortable in your own skin means acknowledging that everybody has their own journey, their own strengths and weaknesses.
Your journey is unique to you, and that’s what makes you special. It’s time to embrace yourself for who you are, without comparisons.
Embracing your authenticity
If any of the signs we’ve discussed ring true for you, don’t fret. Recognizing them is the first step towards embracing your authentic self.
It’s not about changing who you are, but rather, about shedding the layers of self-doubt and insecurity that often make us feel uncomfortable in our own skin.
And remember, it’s not an overnight process.
Start by observing your behavior in public situations. Do you find yourself doing any of the things we’ve discussed?
If so, take a moment to reflect. Why are you doing it? Does it align with your authentic self?
This self-awareness can be a powerful tool in helping you to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
And as with any journey of self-improvement, patience and kindness towards yourself are essential. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem.
As the great philosopher Socrates once said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”
In knowing ourselves, we can learn to be comfortable in our own skin and fully embrace who we are.
So here’s to embarking on the journey of self-discovery and embracing our authenticity.
Because when we’re comfortable in our own skin, we can truly shine.
