Confidence isn’t just about what we say—it’s also about how we carry ourselves. Without realizing it, our body language can send signals that undermine the way others perceive us.
According to communication experts, small, seemingly harmless gestures can reveal self-doubt, even when we think we’re coming across as assured.
These subtle habits can impact the way people respond to us in conversations, job interviews, or even casual interactions.
The good news? Once we recognize these gestures, we can start making small adjustments that project more confidence and self-assurance. Here are seven subtle signs that may be giving away a lack of confidence—and what to do instead.
1) Avoiding eye contact
One of the easiest ways to spot a lack of confidence is through eye contact—or the lack of it.
When someone avoids meeting your gaze, looks down too often, or constantly shifts their eyes, it can make them seem uncertain or even untrustworthy.
Strong eye contact, on the other hand, signals presence, confidence, and engagement in the conversation.
Of course, there’s a balance. Staring too intensely can feel uncomfortable, but maintaining natural eye contact shows that you’re comfortable in your own skin and confident in what you’re saying.
If you struggle with this, try focusing on the space between someone’s eyes—it keeps you engaged without feeling overwhelming.
2) Fidgeting too much
I used to have a bad habit of constantly adjusting my watch or tapping my foot during conversations. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until a colleague pointed it out. “You always seem nervous,” they said.
The truth was, I didn’t feel nervous—I just had extra energy that needed an outlet. But to others, my fidgeting made me seem unsure of myself.
Small, repetitive movements like playing with your hair, tapping your fingers, or shifting in your seat can signal anxiety or insecurity. Even if you feel confident, these gestures might send the wrong message.
Once I became aware of it, I made a conscious effort to keep my hands still and focus on being present in the moment.
It wasn’t easy at first, but over time, I noticed that people responded to me differently—more attentively, more respectfully. Sometimes, confidence comes down to the smallest details.
3) Slouching or poor posture
Your posture doesn’t just affect how others see you—it can actually influence how you feel about yourself. Studies have shown that standing or sitting up straight can boost feelings of confidence and even reduce stress.
On the other hand, slouching or hunching over can make you appear unsure, tired, or disengaged.
People often don’t realize when they’re slumping their shoulders or collapsing into themselves, but body language speaks louder than words.
A strong, upright posture with relaxed shoulders signals self-assurance and makes a stronger impression in both personal and professional settings.
The next time you walk into a room or sit down for a conversation, take a second to check in with your posture. A small adjustment can make a big difference in how you’re perceived.
4) Speaking too softly
The way you use your voice can completely change how others perceive you. When someone speaks too softly, it can make them seem uncertain or hesitant—even if their words are confident.
A weak or overly quiet voice can also make it easier for people to talk over you or dismiss what you’re saying.
Speaking at a clear, steady volume commands attention and shows that you believe in your own words. It’s not about being the loudest person in the room but about projecting your voice in a way that conveys assurance.
If you tend to speak too quietly, practice by reading aloud or recording yourself. Simply becoming aware of your volume can help you find the right balance between being heard and sounding natural.
5) Over-apologizing
Sorry to bother you. Sorry for speaking up. Sorry for taking up space.
Apologizing when you’ve done something wrong is important, but constantly saying “sorry” for things that don’t require an apology can make you seem unsure of yourself.
It can also unintentionally lower your status in a conversation, making it easier for others to overlook your ideas or opinions.
Instead of defaulting to “sorry,” try replacing it with “thank you” when appropriate.
Instead of “Sorry for being late,” say “Thank you for waiting.” This small shift keeps the interaction positive while still acknowledging the situation—without diminishing your presence.
6) Hesitating before speaking
Pausing to gather your thoughts is normal, but if you frequently hesitate before speaking—especially in group settings—it can make you seem unsure of your own ideas.
Starting sentences with “Uh…” or “I don’t know, but…” can weaken your message before you even get to the point.
Confident speakers trust their own voice. They don’t second-guess themselves before they’ve even begun. If you often find yourself hesitating, try focusing on speaking with certainty.
Even if you’re unsure about something, phrasing it as “Here’s what I think” instead of “I’m not sure, but…” makes a big difference in how others perceive you.
The way you start a sentence sets the tone for how people will listen to you—so start strong.
7) Avoiding gestures when you speak
When people are passionate and confident about what they’re saying, their hands naturally get involved. They gesture to emphasize a point, to illustrate an idea, to bring energy into the conversation.
But when someone keeps their hands stiffly at their sides or tucked away, it can make them seem closed off or uncertain.
Using natural hand gestures while speaking helps reinforce your message and makes you appear more engaged. It also helps you feel more engaged—body language and mindset are closely connected.
If you struggle with this, try holding a pen or lightly resting your hands on the table to encourage movement. The goal isn’t to force gestures but to let them flow naturally as part of your communication.
Bottom line: Confidence is a habit
Confidence isn’t just something you have or don’t have—it’s something you practice.
The way you carry yourself, the way you speak, the way you engage with others—all of these small behaviors send signals about how you see yourself. And the more you reinforce certain habits, the more they shape your identity.
Research has shown that adopting confident body language can actually make you feel more confident.
Social psychologist Amy Cuddy’s work on “power poses” suggests that standing tall and taking up space can lead to hormonal changes that increase feelings of self-assurance.
In other words, confidence isn’t just in your mind—it’s in your movements. By becoming aware of these subtle gestures and making small adjustments, you’re not just changing how others perceive you—you’re changing how you perceive yourself.
