If someone’s voice shakes when they speak, you can bet they’re nervous. If someone avoids eye contact, they’re probably feeling shy.
Simple enough, right?
Well, not for me. You see, speaking up used to send me into a tailspin of fear.
My voice would wobble, my palms would sweat, and I’d feel like the smallest person in the room.
But I knew I had something to say. I knew that my ideas were valuable. So, I decided to do something about it.
Here’s how I found the courage to let my voice ring loud and clear, even when every instinct was telling me to stay quiet.
1) Understanding my fear
Fear is a complex beast.
It can paralyze you, hold you back, and convince you that your voice is not worthy of being heard. At least, that’s what happened to me.
Every time I tried to speak up, fear would rush in like a wave, overwhelming me and silencing my voice before it could even make a sound.
But I knew this was not who I really was. I had ideas, thoughts, and perspectives that were valuable and needed to be shared.
So, I decided to face my fear head-on. I started by identifying it, understanding its roots and acknowledging its presence.
I realized that this fear was not a part of me, but rather a barrier preventing me from expressing my true self.
And once I understood that, it became clear what I needed to do next.
2) Taking the first step
I remember the day quite vividly.
We were in a team meeting, and my manager was discussing a project that I had some strong opinions on. As he spoke, I could feel my heart racing and my mouth going dry. The fear was returning.
But this time, I was prepared.
I took a deep breath, raised my hand, and waited for him to acknowledge me.
And when he did, I spoke. My voice was shaky at first, but as I continued to express my thoughts, it started to steady.
Sure, it wasn’t perfect. There were a few awkward pauses and I stumbled over some words.
But I had done it. I had taken the first step towards conquering my fear and letting my voice be heard.
That day marked the beginning of a journey towards a more confident me, one who could speak up without fear.
3) Embracing the power of practice
Did you know that it takes approximately 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill? That’s according to Malcolm Gladwell, the author of “Outliers: The Story of Success”.
And it’s true even for something as seemingly simple as speaking up.
Just like learning to play an instrument or mastering a sport, finding your voice requires time, commitment, and practice. Lots and lots of practice.
So, I started small. I began by contributing more in smaller group settings or one-on-one conversations. Then I gradually moved on to larger crowds and more high-pressure situations.
With each step, I was not only honing my communication skills but also building my confidence, one word at a time.
4) Seeking support
Let’s be clear, this journey was not a walk in the park. There were times when self-doubt would creep in, making me question my progress and capabilities.
But here’s the thing – we’re not meant to tackle our fears alone.
So, I sought out support from people who understood my struggle.
People who could lend an ear, offer advice, or simply provide some much-needed encouragement.
Whether it was a close friend, a trusted mentor, or a professional coach, having someone to share my journey with made all the difference.
Their support was like a safety net, providing me with the courage to take risks and push beyond my comfort zone.
And let me tell you – that made all the difference in the world.
5) Celebrating small victories
In my journey, I’ve learned that progress is rarely a straight line. There are ups and downs, leaps forward and stumbles backward.
And that’s okay.
What really matters is recognizing and celebrating the small victories along the way.
When I managed to voice my opinion in a meeting without stuttering, I celebrated.
When I delivered a presentation without my hands shaking, I celebrated. When I disagreed with a colleague respectfully and assertively, I celebrated.
By celebrating these small victories, I was able to acknowledge my progress and build momentum.
It fueled my confidence, making it easier to face the next challenge head-on.
Because in the end, every step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to our courage and resilience. And that’s something worth celebrating.
6) Embracing the nerves
You might think that the goal is to completely eliminate fear. But here’s an unexpected twist – fear isn’t always the enemy.
In fact, it’s completely normal to feel nervous when speaking up, especially in high-stakes situations.
Even the most seasoned speakers and performers feel a flutter of nerves before stepping onto the stage.
Instead of trying to banish these nerves, I learned to embrace them.
I saw them as a sign that I was pushing my boundaries, stepping out of my comfort zone and growing as a person.
Nerves are not a sign of weakness, but a natural response to new experiences.
Don’t fight them – acknowledge them, accept them, and then do what you need to do anyway.
Believe it or not, doing this can actually give you a surprising boost of confidence.
7) Remembering my why
Throughout this journey, there were moments when I questioned whether it was all worth it.
Moments when the fear seemed too big, the challenge too daunting.
But whenever these moments came, I reminded myself of why I started this journey in the first place.
I wanted my voice to be heard. I wanted my ideas to contribute to the conversation. I wanted to be true to myself and express my thoughts and feelings authentically.
Keeping my ‘why’ at the forefront helped me stay motivated and committed, even when things got tough.
It served as a powerful reminder that I was on this path not just for myself, but also for those who might benefit from hearing my voice.
Because at the end of the day, finding the courage to speak up is about more than overcoming fear – it’s about making a difference, however small it may be.
8) Trusting in myself
At the heart of it all, finding the courage to speak up comes down to one thing – trust.
Trust in your ideas. Trust in your ability to communicate them. And most importantly, trust in yourself.
Trust that you have something valuable to add to the conversation. Trust that your voice matters, and that it deserves to be heard.
Because once you truly believe in yourself, fear loses its grip.
And speaking up becomes not an act of courage, but simply a natural expression of who you are.
Embracing your voice
If you’ve made it this far, I hope you’ve realized that speaking up is much more than a simple act of courage.
It’s about authenticity. It’s about making your thoughts and ideas heard. It’s about trusting yourself and recognizing the worth of your voice.
The journey to overcome the fear of speaking up can be tough.
But remember, every stumble, every awkward pause, and every shaky word is a stepping-stone on the path to self-confidence.
Take a moment to reflect. Consider your own relationship with speaking up – does it terrify you? Or have you found your voice?
Because at the end of the day, your voice is a reflection of who you are. And trust me – it deserves to be heard.
