Have you ever thought about how your children will see you when they’re older?
I know I have.
As a parent, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day chaos, focusing on what needs to get done now rather than what kind of legacy we’re building. But the truth is, the habits we model today will shape the way our children perceive us—and themselves—for years to come.
And just as good habits can inspire admiration and respect, there are certain habits that can quietly erode those feelings over time.
The good news? We have the power to change them.
Today, we’re diving into seven habits that might seem harmless in the moment but could have a lasting impact on how your kids view you as they grow.
Let’s dive right in!
1) The habit of always being right
Let’s face it, no one likes a know-it-all.
However, as parents, we often fall into the trap of always wanting to be right. After all, we have more life experience, right? We’ve seen more, done more – so it only makes sense that we know better.
But here’s the thing: insisting on always being right can push your kids away.
Why?
Because it creates an atmosphere where they feel their opinions, ideas, and experiences are not valued. It can stifle their creativity and stunt their ability to problem-solve.
More importantly, it can create a rift in your relationship.
Saying goodbye to this habit doesn’t mean you let your children do whatever they want. It means giving them space to make mistakes, learn from them, and grow.
Trust me, they’ll admire you more when they realize you respect their thoughts and are open to learning from them too.
2) The habit of constant criticism
We all want our children to be the best they can be, don’t we?
I know I do. But I’ve learned that constant criticism isn’t the way to get there.
For instance, my daughter loves painting. She’s not Picasso yet, but she enjoys it, and I used to make the mistake of always pointing out how her paintings could be “better.”
I thought I was just trying to help her improve. But one day, she came to me and said, “you never like anything I do.”
That hit me hard. I realized then that my constant criticism was not helping her improve; it was dampening her spirit.
Since then, I made a conscious effort to encourage her more and criticize less. Now, she paints more enthusiastically and is even experimenting with different styles.
Dropping the habit of constant criticism has not only helped her grow as an artist but also brought us closer. I hope this personal example helps you understand why it’s crucial to say goodbye to this habit if you want your children to admire you as they get older.
3) The habit of over-scheduling
Here’s one you might not have expected.
We want the best for our kids, and it’s tempting to pack their days with activities we believe will enrich their lives—sports, music lessons, tutoring sessions, playdates…the list goes on.
But here’s the thing: constantly running from one activity to the next can leave your kids feeling more overwhelmed than inspired.
I learned this when my son, who usually loved soccer, started dragging his feet to practice. I sat him down and asked what was going on. His answer was simple: “I’m tired. I just want a day to play.” It hit me then—by filling every hour with structured activities, I’d left him with no room to breathe, relax, or just be a kid.
Over-scheduling can lead to stress, burnout, and even resentment. More importantly, it sends the message that productivity matters more than rest or creativity. But the truth is, unstructured time is just as valuable. It’s in those quiet, open moments that kids learn to entertain themselves, dream, and discover who they are.
Saying goodbye to this habit means embracing a slower pace and letting your children have space to explore life on their terms. Trust me, they’ll thank you for it.
4) The habit of ignoring feelings
We often have a tendency to brush off our children’s feelings with phrases like “Don’t be silly” or “You’re overreacting”.
But, disregarding their feelings can lead them to think that their emotions are invalid or unimportant. It can create an emotional distance between you and them.
Instead, try acknowledging and validating their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, disappointed, or scared. Help them navigate these emotions and find healthy ways to express them.
When they realize you understand and respect their feelings, they’re more likely to turn to you for comfort and advice. In this way, you become not just a parent, but a trusted confidant – someone they truly admire.
5) The habit of not apologizing
Apologizing when we’re wrong is tough. I’d bet for most of us it’s even tougher when the apology is to our children.
I remember one time, in a fit of anger, I yelled at my son for something trivial. Later, I realized I was wrong. But the thought of apologizing to him made me uncomfortable. I was the parent, right?
But then, I thought about the lesson I’d be teaching him by not apologizing – that it’s okay to hurt people and not take responsibility for it.
So, I swallowed my pride and apologized. It was hard, but the respect I saw in his eyes made it worth it.
Ditching the habit of not apologizing can be tough, but it’s vital. It teaches our children about accountability and humility – and makes us a role model they can look up to.
6) The habit of neglecting self-care
As parents, we often put our children’s needs before our own. It’s natural to want to give them the best. But in doing so, we sometimes neglect our own well-being.
And guess what? Our children notice.
They see us skipping meals, losing sleep, or missing out on activities we enjoy. And it impacts them.
Prioritizing self-care is not selfish; it’s essential. When we take care of ourselves – physically, mentally, emotionally – we’re better equipped to take care of our children.
Plus, it sets a great example for them about the importance of self-care.
7) The habit of inconsistent discipline
Last but not least, kids crave consistency; they thrive on it. It gives them a sense of security and helps them understand the world around them.
Inconsistent discipline – where the consequences or rules change based on your mood or the situation – can be confusing and distressing for them.
Being consistent with discipline means setting clear expectations and following through with the consequences, whether good or bad. It teaches them about responsibility, consequences, and fairness.
Letting go of inconsistent discipline is perhaps one of the most important steps you can take toward becoming an admired parent. It fosters trust and respect – two key ingredients in any healthy relationship.
Final reflection: It’s all about connection
The habits we choose to keep—or let go of—not only shape our children’s lives but also the bond we share with them as they grow.
Saying goodbye to these seven habits isn’t about being the perfect parent; it’s about being an intentional one. By focusing on what truly matters—respect, empathy, and connection—we lay the foundation for a relationship built on trust and admiration.
Here’s to letting go of what doesn’t serve us—and becoming the parents our children will always look up to.
