The way we speak says a lot about how we see ourselves. Sometimes, without even realizing it, our words reveal deep-seated insecurities and doubts.
People who struggle with low self-worth often use certain phrases that downplay their abilities, dismiss their own needs, or seek constant validation.
These phrases may seem harmless, but over time, they can reinforce negative beliefs and hold someone back from reaching their full potential.
If you notice these phrases in your own conversations—or in those around you—it might be a sign of deeper struggles with confidence and self-value.
Recognizing them is the first step toward changing the way we see ourselves and how we show up in the world.
1) “I’m sorry, but…”
Apologizing when you’ve done something wrong is a sign of emotional intelligence. But constantly saying “I’m sorry”—especially when there’s nothing to apologize for—can be a sign of low self-worth.
People who struggle with confidence often start their sentences with “I’m sorry, but…” even when they’re simply expressing an opinion or making a request.
It’s as if they feel the need to apologize for taking up space or having a voice.
Over-apologizing can make you seem less confident and even make others take you less seriously.
Instead, try pausing before saying “I’m sorry” and ask yourself—did I actually do something wrong? If not, there’s no need to apologize.
2) “This might be a stupid question, but…”
I used to say this all the time. Anytime I had a question—especially in a meeting or group setting—I’d preface it with, “This might be a stupid question, but…”
Looking back, I realize I was undermining myself before I even spoke.
It wasn’t that my questions were actually stupid; it was that I doubted myself so much that I felt the need to soften the blow just in case others thought less of me.
The truth is, most stupid questions aren’t stupid at all. And when we frame our words this way, we tell others (and ourselves) that we don’t trust our own thoughts.
Instead of downplaying your curiosity, just ask the question. You might be surprised how many people were wondering the same thing.
3) “I just got lucky”
When someone compliments a person with low self-worth, they often struggle to accept it. Instead of acknowledging their own hard work or talent, they brush it off with, “I just got lucky.”
But luck isn’t usually the reason for success—at least, not entirely.
Studies have shown that people with imposter syndrome often attribute their achievements to external factors like luck, timing, or the help of others, rather than their own competence.
Dismissing your accomplishments this way not only downplays your skills but can also make others question your abilities. Instead of saying you got lucky, try a simple “Thank you”—and own the effort you put in.
4) “It’s not a big deal”
People who struggle with low self-worth often have a hard time accepting praise or recognition.
When someone acknowledges their effort or compliments them, their instinct is to downplay it with, “Oh, it’s not a big deal.”
But minimizing your achievements doesn’t make you humble—it makes it harder for you (and others) to see your true value.
If you constantly brush off your contributions, people may start believing you.
Instead of dismissing praise, try acknowledging it. A simple “Thank you, I worked really hard on that” can go a long way in reinforcing your own confidence.
5) “I don’t want to be a burden”
There’s something heartbreaking about hearing someone say, “I don’t want to be a burden.” It often comes from a place of believing that their needs, feelings, or struggles are an inconvenience to others.
But no one should feel like they have to go through life alone. We all need support sometimes, and asking for help doesn’t make you a burden—it makes you human.
The people who truly care about you want to be there for you, just like you would be for them.
If you catch yourself saying this, try to reframe it.
Instead of apologizing for needing help, remind yourself that your feelings are valid—and that you deserve support just as much as anyone else.
6) “I don’t really mind—whatever works for you”
For the longest time, I struggled to speak up about what I actually wanted.
Whether it was choosing a restaurant, making weekend plans, or even bigger decisions, my default response was always, “I don’t really mind—whatever works for you.”
I told myself I was just being easygoing, but deep down, I was afraid. Afraid of being difficult. Afraid of picking the “wrong” thing. Afraid that my preferences didn’t matter as much as everyone else’s.
But constantly deferring to others doesn’t make you agreeable—it makes you invisible. Your opinions, needs, and desires are just as important as anyone else’s.
It’s okay to have a preference. It’s okay to take up space. And it’s okay to say what you actually want.
7) “I’m probably overthinking this”
People who struggle with low self-worth often doubt their own thoughts and instincts.
When they express a concern or hesitation, they quickly follow it up with, “I’m probably overthinking this.”
But second-guessing yourself like this sends a message—not just to others, but to yourself—that your feelings aren’t valid.
The truth is, if something is bothering you enough to bring it up, it probably matters.
Instead of immediately dismissing your thoughts, try pausing and asking yourself: Is this a real concern? Does this feeling deserve attention?
More often than not, the answer is yes. Trust yourself. Your thoughts are worth listening to.
8) “I don’t think I’m good enough”
Few things reveal low self-worth more clearly than saying, “I don’t think I’m good enough.”
Whether it’s for a job, a relationship, or simply being accepted by others, this belief can quietly shape every decision a person makes.
But worth isn’t something you have to earn—it’s something you already have.
No amount of achievements, approval, or perfection will ever make you feel enough if you don’t first believe it yourself.
You are good enough. Right now. As you are.
Bottom line: The way you speak shapes the way you see yourself
The words we use don’t just communicate our thoughts—they shape them. Over time, the phrases we repeat can reinforce how we see ourselves, for better or worse.
Psychologists have found that self-talk plays a crucial role in shaping self-perception.
When someone constantly downplays their worth, apologizes unnecessarily, or doubts their own abilities out loud, their brain starts to believe it.
But the opposite is also true. Changing the way you speak—removing self-diminishing phrases, accepting praise, and voicing your needs—can shift the way you see yourself.
It won’t happen overnight, but every small change in language is a step toward greater confidence.
You don’t have to wait until you feel worthy to start speaking like you are. Sometimes, the way forward is to change your words first—and let your mindset follow.
