You don’t have to be a therapist or a mind reader to understand people on a deeper level. Sometimes, it’s as simple as the words you choose.
The way we speak—especially in emotional moments—says a lot about how well we understand ourselves and those around us.
And while emotional intelligence can seem like an abstract concept, it often shows up in everyday conversations without us even realizing it.
In fact, if you regularly use certain phrases, chances are you’re more emotionally intelligent than you think.
Here are a few key ones that reveal just how in tune you are with emotions—both your own and others’.
1) “I understand how you feel.”
Emotions can be messy, unpredictable, and sometimes overwhelming. But one of the most powerful things you can do for someone is acknowledge what they’re feeling.
When you say, “I understand how you feel,” you’re not just offering sympathy—you’re showing that you recognize their emotions and are willing to connect with them on a deeper level.
People with strong emotional intelligence don’t rush to fix or dismiss feelings. Instead, they validate them. And that simple act can make all the difference in how others feel heard and supported.
2) “That must be really difficult.”
I’ll never forget a time when I was venting to a friend about a stressful situation at work.
I was overwhelmed, frustrated, and just needed to let it all out. Instead of giving me advice or trying to solve the problem, they simply said, “That must be really difficult.”
And honestly? That one sentence made me feel so much better. It showed me they weren’t just hearing my words—they were actually listening and acknowledging my struggle.
People with high emotional intelligence know that sometimes, the best thing you can do is recognize someone’s hardship without immediately jumping to solutions. A little validation goes a long way.
3) “I appreciate you.”
Feeling valued is one of the strongest motivators for human behavior. Studies have shown that recognition and appreciation activate the same reward centers in the brain as financial incentives.
That’s why emotionally intelligent people make a habit of expressing gratitude—not just for big gestures, but for the small, everyday things too.
Saying “I appreciate you” lets someone know that their efforts, time, or even just their presence don’t go unnoticed. And when people feel seen and valued, they’re more likely to show up as their best selves.
4) “I was wrong about that.”
Admitting mistakes isn’t easy. It can feel uncomfortable, even a little embarrassing. But emotionally intelligent people understand that owning up to their errors builds trust and respect.
Saying, “I was wrong about that,” shows humility and a willingness to learn. It shifts the focus away from ego and toward growth, making conversations more open and honest.
And the truth is, people are far more likely to respect someone who can admit when they’ve messed up than someone who always insists they’re right.
5) “Tell me more about that.”
I’ve learned that the best conversations don’t come from having the perfect response—they come from being genuinely curious.
When I say, “Tell me more about that,” I’m not just keeping the conversation going.
I’m showing the other person that what they’re saying matters to me. And more often than not, they open up in ways they wouldn’t have otherwise.
Emotionally intelligent people know that listening isn’t just about waiting for your turn to speak. It’s about creating space for others to be heard, understood, and valued.
6) “I need some time to think about this.”
People often assume that emotional intelligence means always knowing the right thing to say in the moment.
But in reality, some of the most emotionally intelligent people don’t rush their responses at all.
Saying, “I need some time to think about this,” shows self-awareness. It means you recognize when an issue needs deeper reflection instead of a quick reaction.
Whether it’s a tough decision, a conflict, or an emotional conversation, giving yourself space to process can lead to much better outcomes than saying something you’ll regret later.
7) “How can I support you?”
It’s easy to assume we know what someone needs when they’re struggling. But the truth is, everyone experiences challenges differently, and what helps one person might not help another.
That’s why emotionally intelligent people ask, “How can I support you?” instead of guessing. It shifts the focus from offering generic advice to actually meeting the other person where they are.
Sometimes they need a solution, sometimes they just need to vent—but either way, asking this question shows that you’re there for them in the way they need most.
8) “I’m listening.”
More than the perfect words or the best advice, what people truly want is to be heard.
Saying, “I’m listening,” and actually meaning it is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to show emotional intelligence.
It tells the other person that, in that moment, they have your full attention—that their thoughts, feelings, and experiences matter. And sometimes, that’s all they really need.
The words you use matter
Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding feelings—it’s about how you express that understanding. And the words you choose, even in the smallest moments, can shape the way people feel around you.
Because at the end of the day, people remember how you made them feel more than anything you said.
A simple phrase of validation, appreciation, or curiosity can turn an ordinary conversation into something meaningful.
So if you already use these phrases often, you might be more emotionally intelligent than you realize.
And if not, there’s always room to grow—because the way we communicate isn’t just a reflection of who we are, but of who we’re becoming.
