Ever heard the saying “It’s not what you say, but how you say it?”
Well, there’s a whole lot of truth in that.
As we navigate life’s highways and byways, our words often serve as our compass, guiding our relationships, our reputation, and yes, even shaping our personal brand. But here’s a little secret: sometimes it’s also about what you don’t say.
Believe it or not, there are certain phrases that could be silently eroding your credibility. Like invisible termites gnawing at the foundation of your reputation, these seemingly innocent phrases can sow seeds of doubt in others’ minds about your competence and character.
So, if you’re wondering “Am I unwittingly undermining my own credibility?”, stick around.
We’re about to dive into seven common phrases that could be doing just that.
1) “I’m not sure, but…”
Here’s the deal.
This phrase might seem harmless on the surface. After all, it’s natural to have doubts and not know everything.
But here’s the hiccup: when you preface your thoughts or ideas with “I’m not sure, but…”, you’re essentially undermining your own credibility before you’ve even had the chance to make your point.
So, what’s the alternative?
Next time you catch yourself about to utter these words, try replacing them with something more assertive like “I believe…” or “My understanding is…”. This simple tweak can make a world of difference in how others perceive your confidence and credibility.
2) “This may be a stupid question, but…”
Can I share a personal story?
A few years back, I was sitting in a meeting with some big shots in my industry. At one point, I had a question. But instead of just asking, I said, “This may be a stupid question, but…”
Guess what happened?
The room went quiet. The energy shifted. And not in a good way. I had unintentionally signaled to everyone in the room that I didn’t value my own input. And if I didn’t value it, why should they?
Here’s the lesson I learned: There’s no such thing as a stupid question.
Questions show that you’re engaged, interested, and not afraid to seek clarity—a sign of a true professional. So, instead of devaluing your inquiries with this phrase, just ask your question confidently. Trust me, it makes a difference.
Remember, every word you speak is a reflection of how you see yourself. Make sure they mirror your confidence and credibility.
3) “I guess…”
Let’s talk about “I guess…”.
Have you ever noticed how often you use it? I have. And let me tell you, it was a wake-up call. Each time I said “I guess…”, what I was really doing was watering down my opinions, my ideas, my very voice.
It was as if I was giving the world permission to dismiss what I had to say. And why? Because I was uncomfortable with asserting myself? Because I feared disagreement or rejection?
Your voice matters. Your opinions count. And they deserve to be heard in their full strength, not diluted by a phrase that implies uncertainty or lack of conviction.
So next time, instead of saying “I guess…”, try saying “I think…” or “I believe…”. Own your thoughts and let them stand tall. It’s a small change with big implications.
Because the fact is, your words shape how others see you. And more crucially, they shape how you see yourself.
4) “Just”
Here’s a sneaky one: “just”.
It slips into our sentences so easily, doesn’t it? “I just think that…”, “I’m just saying…”. But have you ever stopped to think about what this tiny word is doing to your credibility?
In my experience, “just” is often a sign of unnecessary defensiveness or a way of downplaying our own ideas. It’s as if we’re apologizing for having an opinion or thought, even before anyone has disagreed!
Try removing the word “just” from your conversations. Instead of saying, “I just think that…”, say, “I think that…”. Hear the difference?
Without the “just”, your statement sounds more assertive, confident, and credible. And that’s exactly how you want to be perceived, right?
Go ahead, banish the “just” from your vocabulary. Your credibility will thank you.
5) “To be honest…”
It sounds like a good phrase, doesn’t it? A signal that you’re about to share some real, raw truth. But here’s the twist: it can often do more harm than good.
Why? Because it begs the question: aren’t you always honest when you speak? Implying otherwise can raise red flags for the people you’re communicating with.
Interestingly, a study by The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who use phrases like “to be honest” are often perceived as less trustworthy. It’s as if the phrase somehow triggers our internal lie detectors.
So next time, skip the “to be honest” and just say what you need to say. Let your words stand on their own, without the need for a credibility disclaimer. It’s a small change, but one that can make a big difference in how others perceive you.
6) “Sorry, but…”
We all know the power of a genuine apology. It can mend bridges, heal wounds, and show respect for others’ feelings. But what about when “sorry” is used unnecessarily, as a preamble to our own thoughts or opinions?
Saying “Sorry, but…” before expressing your viewpoint can subtly send the message that your thoughts are an inconvenience or less valuable.
I understand where this comes from. We don’t want to offend or upset others, and that’s admirable. But remember this: Your thoughts and feelings are just as important as anyone else’s.
Next time, instead of saying “Sorry, but…”, try saying “I understand what you’re saying, however…”. This way, you’re acknowledging the other person’s viewpoint while also standing firm in your own.
Kindness and empathy never require you to diminish your own voice.
7) “It’s not my fault, but…”
Here’s the big one: “It’s not my fault, but…”.
This phrase is a credibility killer. Why? Because it implies that you’re shirking responsibility. And nothing damages credibility faster than an unwillingness to own up to mistakes or take responsibility for your actions.
Instead of deflecting blame, try saying “I made a mistake” or “I could have handled that better”. Owning your actions shows maturity, integrity, and a willingness to learn—all hallmarks of a credible individual.
Your words are powerful. Use them wisely.
Final thoughts
If you’ve noticed that you often use these phrases, don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all human, and we all have areas for improvement. In fact, recognizing these habits is the first step towards better communication and increased credibility.
Remember, it’s not just about removing these phrases from your vocabulary. It’s about understanding why they creep into our conversations in the first place. It’s about aligning our words with the confidence and authenticity we want to project.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and conscious effort. But each time you catch yourself about to utter one of these phrases and choose a more confident alternative, you’re taking a step towards greater credibility.
The power of words is immense. They shape our relationships, our personal brand, and our perception of ourselves. But most importantly, they give us an opportunity to reflect our true potential to the world.
As you navigate your conversations, remember: Your words are a mirror of your self-image. Choose them wisely. Let them reflect the best version of you.
