We’ve all been there – feeling like we’re getting the short end of the stick. It’s not fun, and it’s not fair.
The truth is, often we unknowingly invite this unfair treatment through our own behaviors. The good news? We can change them.
In this article, I’m going to shed light on eight behaviors you might be exhibiting that are keeping you stuck in this cycle of unfair treatment. It’s time to say goodbye to these habits, stand up for yourself and level the playing field.
Ready? Let’s dive in.
1) Being overly agreeable
We’ve all been in situations where we just want to keep the peace, so we go along with what others are saying or doing, even if it’s not what we truly want or believe.
This is known as being overly agreeable. And while it might seem like a good strategy in the short-term, it can lead to long-term problems.
When you’re always agreeing with others, you’re essentially telling them that your opinions, needs, and desires don’t matter as much as theirs. That’s not a fair situation to be in.
Often, this behavior stems from a fear of conflict or rejection. But it’s important to remember that you have just as much right as anyone else to express yourself and have your needs met.
Saying goodbye to this behavior doesn’t mean becoming confrontational or disagreeable, but rather asserting yourself in a respectful way. It’s about finding balance and making sure your voice is heard.
It might be uncomfortable at first, but it’s a crucial step towards being treated fairly.
2) Not setting clear boundaries
There was a time in my life when I was always the one who got called upon to do favors. Need someone to cover a shift at work? Call me. Need a last-minute babysitter? I’m your person. It got to the point where I felt like a doormat.
What I failed to realize then is that I hadn’t set clear boundaries. I was always so eager to please that I didn’t consider my own time and needs.
People took advantage of this, perhaps without even realizing it. Their requests became demands, and my willingness to help turned into an expectation.
When I finally woke up to this, I started setting boundaries. It wasn’t easy – there were some uncomfortable conversations, and I had to get used to saying “no”. But it was incredibly liberating.
Setting clear boundaries is a form of self-respect. It shows others that you value your time and energy, and therefore, they should too.
So if you’re tired of being treated unfairly, start by setting clear boundaries and sticking to them. Trust me, it makes a world of difference.
3) Over-apologizing
The English language has over a million words, yet we often fall back on “sorry” more than we should. In fact, research shows that English speakers apologize more frequently than speakers of other languages.
Over-apologizing can be a sign that you’re taking too much responsibility for things that aren’t your fault. It’s like you’re constantly apologizing for your existence, which is not fair to you.
What’s more, every time you apologize when it’s not necessary, you’re sending a message to others that you’re in the wrong. Over time, this can lead to people treating you unfairly because they perceive you as being at fault all the time.
Saying goodbye to this behavior involves becoming more aware of when you’re truly at fault and when an apology is not needed. It also means learning to express your feelings and needs without feeling guilty or needing to apologize for them.
4) Avoiding confrontation
Avoiding confrontation is a common behavior that can lead to unfair treatment. When you constantly sidestep conflict, you end up not addressing issues that bother you. This can lead to a build-up of resentment and feeling like you’re being treated unfairly.
It’s natural to want to avoid uncomfortable situations, but confrontation is sometimes necessary for resolving issues. It’s important to remember that confrontation doesn’t have to be aggressive or hostile. It can be a calm, respectful discussion where both parties express their feelings and work towards a solution.
By saying goodbye to avoiding confrontation, you’re not only standing up for yourself but also promoting healthier, more open communication in your relationships.
5) Ignoring your gut feelings
There’s something deeply powerful about our intuition. It’s that little voice inside us, that gut feeling, which tends to know what’s best for us. Too often, we silence that voice. We tell ourselves we’re overreacting or being too sensitive.
But here’s the thing: your feelings are valid. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Ignoring your gut feelings can lead to situations where you’re being treated unfairly and you try to rationalize it.
So, let’s say goodbye to ignoring our gut feelings. Let’s start listening to that little voice, trusting it more often. Because deep down, we know what respect feels like, we know what fairness feels like. And we owe it to ourselves to listen when something doesn’t feel right.
6) Seeking validation
For a long time, I struggled with seeking validation from others. I constantly sought approval and feared disapproval. It was as if my self-worth was tied to what others thought of me. As a result, I often found myself in situations where I was treated unfairly, simply because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
Seeking validation from others can lead to a cycle of unfair treatment. You end up compromising your needs and desires to keep others happy. But the truth is, you can’t control what others think of you, and your worth is not determined by their opinions.
Letting go of the need for validation from others is a journey. It starts with recognizing your own worth and understanding that it’s okay to put yourself first. It means standing up for yourself, even if it means disappointing someone else. And trust me, it’s worth it.
7) Taking on too much
When you constantly take on too much, you can end up feeling overwhelmed and undervalued. Whether it’s at work, in your personal life, or in your relationships, overextending yourself can lead to burnout and a sense of unfairness.
You might feel like it’s your responsibility to handle everything, or you might worry that saying no will let others down. But it’s important to remember that you’re not a superhero. It’s okay to delegate tasks, ask for help, or simply say no when your plate is already full.
Saying goodbye to taking on too much doesn’t mean becoming lazy or irresponsible. It means valuing your time and energy and understanding that it’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes.
8) Not knowing your worth
If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this: you are valuable and deserving of fair treatment. Your thoughts, feelings, and needs matter. If you don’t know your worth, it’s easy for others to treat you unfairly.
It’s not about being arrogant or feeling superior to others. It’s about recognizing your inherent value as a person.
When you know your worth, you set the standard for how others treat you. You demand respect, fairness, and kindness because you know that you deserve nothing less. So let’s say goodbye to underestimating ourselves – it’s time to embrace our worth.
Final thoughts: The power is in your hands
The road to fair treatment often starts with a single step: recognizing and changing certain behaviors. It’s about acknowledging that you have the power to shape how others perceive and treat you.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many of us have walked this path, learning to assert ourselves, set clear boundaries, and embrace our worth.
Research from the field of social psychology suggests that when people perceive themselves as more assertive, they are more likely to be treated fairly. This doesn’t mean becoming aggressive or domineering, but rather standing up for oneself in a respectful and confident manner.
Change may not happen overnight, but each step you take brings you closer to the fairness you deserve. It’s not just about being treated fairly by others – it’s about treating yourself fairly too.
As you navigate this journey, remember these words from American writer and civil rights activist Maya Angelou: “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
You deserve respect. You deserve fairness. You deserve to be a priority. And with these changes, you’re well on your way.
