As we get older, many of us wish for a future that’s brighter, lighter, and maybe even filled with a few more genuine smiles.
But here’s the catch: habits and mindsets can either light the way forward or keep us tied to unnecessary stress, insecurity, or discontent.
Today, we dive into eight behaviors that may be holding you back from that more joyful, relaxed version of yourself.
Are any of these familiar? Let’s find out!
1) Comparing yourself to others
These days, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others.
We see our friends or family achieving milestones and it can make us feel like we’re falling behind. Worse yet, we compare ourselves to people we don’t even know on social media.
This comparison game is a fast track to unhappiness. And it’s a habit that can rob us of our smiles.
Your journey is unique, and it’s unfair to compare your life to anyone else’s. Each person has their own pace, their own challenges, and their own victories. Everyone’s life unfolds at its own pace.
As clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson recommends in his book, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”
Saying goodbye to comparisons doesn’t mean ignoring everyone else’s achievements, but rather focusing on your own growth and happiness.
2) Constant worrying
Worrying is a habit that I personally struggled with for years.
I used to fret about everything – my job, my health, my relationships. It was as if my mind was always on overdrive, predicting the worst-case scenarios.
But then I realized something. Most of the things I worried about never actually happened. And even if they did, worrying didn’t prevent them or make them any easier to handle.
Once I understood this, I actively started working to reduce the time spent worrying. I began practicing mindfulness and staying in the present moment. I found that this simple change had a profound impact on my happiness levels.
Letting go of constant worrying allows us to live in the present and enjoy the here and now. In turn, this makes us smile more, not just on the outside but from within too.
3) Holding on to past mistakes
Did you know the human brain has a tendency to focus on negative events rather than positive ones?
As put by the folks at Very Well Mind, we are “hardwired for negativity.”
This is known as negativity bias. As a result, we often dwell on past mistakes, which only serves to make us unhappy.
But here’s the thing – mistakes are just part of being human. They’re opportunities for growth and learning, not something to be endlessly regretted.
Letting go of past errors can be incredibly liberating. Once you accept and learn from your past, you can move forward without the weight of regret, leading to more smiles and a happier disposition overall.
4) Neglecting self-care
This is a huge one.
In our busy lives, self-care often falls to the bottom of the priority list. We focus on work, family, and other responsibilities, forgetting that taking care of ourselves is equally important.
As noted by experts like those at Psych Central, neglecting self-care can have a host of negative effects including making us feel burnt out, and hopeless and it can even worsen symptoms of depression and anxiety.
So, make a conscious effort to prioritize self-care. Be it regular exercise, a healthy diet, or simply some quiet time for relaxation and reflection – these practices can significantly boost your mood and lead to more smiles.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first, and you’ll find yourself smiling more often.
5) Ignoring your passions
Life is too short to spend it doing things that don’t bring you joy. Many of us, as we age, tend to sideline our passions in favor of responsibilities and practicality.
But there’s a certain magic in pursuing what you love. It adds a sparkle to your eyes and a curve to your lips.
Whether it’s painting, hiking, dancing, or simply reading a good book – make time for what makes your heart happy. Embrace your passions and let them light up your life.
6) Staying in toxic relationships
Years ago, I found myself in a relationship that was more draining than fulfilling. It was filled with constant arguments, dissatisfaction and negativity.
I stuck around, hoping things would change.
But as you probably guessed, they didn’t.
The day I decided to walk away from that toxicity was the day I chose myself. It was tough, but it was also liberating.
Toxic relationships, be it with friends, family or partners, can drain your happiness and leave you with fewer reasons to smile.
Don’t be afraid to distance yourself from relationships that bring you down more than they lift you up.
As author, Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Surround yourself with positivity and people who make you smile. Life becomes a lot brighter when you do.
7) Overworking yourself
In our pursuit of success, it’s easy to fall into the trap of overworking ourselves. We push ourselves to the limit, thinking the sacrifice is worth it. But what’s success without joy and the time to smile?
Overworking can lead to burnout, stress, and a decrease in overall happiness. It’s important to find a balance between work and rest.
Take breaks when you need them, set realistic goals, and remember that it’s okay to say no sometimes. Giving yourself time to relax and unwind can significantly increase your happiness and lead to more smiles.
8) Not living in the present
The present moment is all we truly have. Yet, we often spend it dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
This habit can steal our joy and prevent us from truly appreciating the beauty of now.
Living in the present means fully engaging with what’s happening right now. It means savoring that cup of coffee, enjoying the conversation with a loved one, or simply appreciating the feeling of sunshine on your skin.
By embracing the present moment, you open yourself up to countless reasons to smile. Give it a try – you won’t be disappointed.
In essence: Choose happiness
The American philosopher and psychologist, William James, once said, “The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.”
This rings especially true when it comes to finding reasons to smile more often. By consciously deciding to let go of negative habits and embracing positivity, we take control of our happiness.
It won’t always be easy. There might be days when smiling seems like the hardest thing to do. But remember, each day is a new opportunity to choose happiness.
Here’s to choosing to live fully in each moment, embracing our passions, and surrounding ourselves with positivity!
