Strong social skills are key to building meaningful connections and navigating life with confidence.
However, certain habits can unknowingly hinder your ability to connect with others.
Whether it’s avoiding conversations or being overly critical of yourself, these behaviors can create unnecessary barriers.
In this article, I’ll be providing you with a list of seven habits to let go of if you want to sharpen your social skills and foster deeper, more rewarding relationships as you grow older:
1) Over-reliance on digital communication
We live in a digital age, there’s no denying it—while technology has been a boon in many ways, it has also created some hurdles in our social interactions.
One such hurdle is our increasing reliance on digital communication.
Emails, texts, social media—they’ve become our primary modes of communication.
But here’s the catch: They lack the personal touch that face-to-face communication provides.
As we age, it becomes even more important to maintain that personal touch in our interactions.
After all, social skills are not just about what you say, but how you say it—the tone of your voice, your body language, your facial expressions.
Digital communication, while convenient, strips away these vital elements of interaction.
If you’re looking to improve your social skills as you get older, consider reducing your dependence on digital communication.
Make an effort to engage in more face-to-face conversations, whether it’s a casual chat over coffee or a formal business meeting.
Digital communication isn’t bad, but relying solely on it can hinder your social growth.
2) Avoiding uncomfortable conversations
I’ll be the first to admit, I used to shy away from tough conversations.
They were just too… uncomfortable but, as I got older, I realized that avoiding these discussions was doing more harm than good.
You see, conflict is a part of life and, while it’s not always pleasant, it can lead to growth and deeper understanding if handled correctly.
When we dodge difficult conversations, we often leave issues unresolved—thus creating tension and misunderstandings, which ultimately damages our relationships.
I remember a time when I was avoiding a conversation with a close friend about a misunderstanding we had: It was uncomfortable, and I kept pushing it off, hoping it would resolve on its own, but it didn’t.
The tension grew and started affecting our friendship.
Eventually, I gathered the courage to initiate the conversation.
Sure, it was tough, but guess what? We both got a chance to express our feelings and understand each other’s perspectives better.
We cleared up the misunderstanding, and our friendship emerged stronger than before.
Uncomfortable conversations are, well, uncomfortable—but it’s important to face these situations head-on rather than avoid them.
3) Neglecting to listen
Did you know that humans only remember about 25 to 50 percent of what we hear?
That means when you talk to someone for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation.
Listening, true listening, involves more than just hearing the words that are being said and it requires focus and concentration, a conscious effort to understand the speaker’s perspective.
Unfortunately, many of us have developed the habit of being poor listeners as we’re often so focused on what we want to say next that we don’t fully absorb what the other person is saying.
Show genuine interest in what others are saying, ask follow-up questions, and give feedback—not only will this make your interactions more fruitful, but it will also help build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
4) Being overly critical
Being too judgmental and critical is an easy habit to fall into, but the truth is that nobody likes to be on the receiving end of incessant criticism.
As we progress in life, we accumulate wisdom and experience, and it’s natural to want to share our insights with others.
However, it’s essential to remember that everyone has their own journey, their own pace of learning.
When we’re overly critical, it can make others feel belittled or devalued—and that’s not conducive to healthy social interactions.
Try offering constructive feedback instead of outright criticism; encourage and uplift instead of tearing down.
Kindness and empathy go a long way in fostering genuinely positive social interactions.
5) Holding onto grudges
There was a time when I used to hold onto every slight, every wrong, and every hurtful word—it was like a heavy suitcase I lugged around everywhere, weighing me down.
What I didn’t realize then was how much it was affecting my social interactions and relationships.
Holding onto grudges is a habit that’s not only emotionally draining but also detrimental to our social skills—it breeds resentment, fosters negativity and erects walls between people.
As I got older, I realized the importance of forgiveness.
Letting go of past hurts wasn’t about excusing the other person’s actions or forgetting what happened; it was about freeing myself from the burden of resentment.
When I started to forgive, it felt like setting down that heavy suitcase as it allowed me to move forward, to engage with others more openly and positively.
6) Dominating conversations
While it’s great to be confident and assertive, there’s a fine line between being an active participant in a conversation and completely dominating it.
People who dominate conversations often come off as self-centered, leaving little room for others to voice their thoughts or feelings; this can make others feel unheard or unimportant, which is not conducive to building strong social relationships.
It becomes more important to ensure our conversations are balanced as we get older—this means not only expressing our own ideas but also giving others the opportunity to share theirs.
Aim for a healthy give-and-take in your discussions, showing respect for others’ opinions and valuing their input.
7) Avoiding self-improvement
The most crucial habit to say goodbye to if you want to improve your social skills as you get older is avoiding self-improvement.
Growth and change are a part of life, and our social skills aren’t an exception.
No matter how old we are, there’s always room for improvement.
Embrace the opportunity to learn and grow by seeking feedback, being open to change, and striving for better interactions each day.
The journey of self-improvement is a continuous one, but it’s undoubtedly the most rewarding.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey of growth
The complexity of human interactions and social skills is a fascinating aspect of our existence and, as we age, these skills aren’t set in stone but continue to evolve.
This journey of growth and self-improvement is underscored by the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers who once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”
Like the stages of life, our social skills must adapt and evolve—letting go of certain habits, as discussed, is a vital step in this growth.
Whether it’s relying less on digital communication, embracing tough conversations, listening actively or releasing grudges, each step enhances our social interactions.
Improving social skills is about continuous learning, so let’s embrace this journey together, striving for better connections every day!
