Getting older isn’t just about adding years to our lives—it’s about adding life to those years. It’s about cultivating a sense of purpose, joy, and fulfillment in our day-to-day lives, no matter our age.
But here’s the thing: enriching our lives often requires us to let go of behaviors that no longer serve us. As we grow, so should our habits, our mindset, and the way we approach each day.
In my own journey, I’ve found that saying goodbye to certain behaviors has been transformative. It’s helped me feel more connected, more present, and more aligned with the kind of life I want to live as I age.
Today, I’ll share five of these behaviors. Letting go of these has been a game-changer for me—and they just might do the same for you.
Let’s dive in.
1) Comparisons
As we get older, it’s easy to look around and start comparing our life journey with others’. “Why am I not as successful as John?” or “Why can’t I be as fit as Mary?” – these are the kind of questions that often pop up in our minds.
But here’s the thing: as Roosevelt said “comparison is a thief of joy”. It only leads to feelings of inadequacy and discontentment.
I used to be guilty of this one. When I was starting Hack Spirit, I often found myself falling into the trap of comparisons. I’d look at others in my field who seemed miles ahead and wonder why I wasn’t there yet. It was frustrating and, honestly, draining.
One day, though, it hit me: I was sabotaging my own joy by focusing on someone else’s path instead of my own. That’s when I made the conscious decision to stop. I began to celebrate my wins, no matter how small, and view other people’s success as inspiration, not a yardstick.
It wasn’t easy at first. The urge to compare didn’t disappear overnight. But with time and practice, I learned to shift my mindset—and the results were profound. I became more content, more focused, and far more at peace with my own journey.
The truth is, every person’s journey is unique. You’re not in a race with anyone else, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for success. By letting go of comparisons, you free yourself to fully appreciate where you are and focus on where you’re headed. That’s when life truly begins to feel richer and more fulfilling.
2) Clinging to your ego
A major barrier to a richer life as we age is our ego. It’s that part of us that obsesses over status, possessions, and external validation.
Unchecked, our ego can lead to dissatisfaction and prevent us from truly growing as individuals.
This is a topic I delve into deeply in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. In it, I discuss how our ego can often cloud our judgment and prevent us from seeing the bigger picture.
You see, the ego is a product of our past experiences and future anxieties. It’s constantly trying to protect us from perceived threats, but often at the expense of our overall happiness and contentment.
Letting go of your ego means embracing humility, accepting our imperfections, and learning to appreciate the interconnectedness of all things. It’s about focusing less on “me” and more on “we”.
3) Over-romanticizing the past
This is a big one.
It’s natural to look back on the past with a sense of nostalgia. But there’s a difference between appreciating your memories and clinging to an idealized version of what once was.
When we over-romanticize the past, we risk becoming stuck there, unable to fully embrace the present or look forward to the future.
As Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius wisely said, “Each of us lives only in the present, this brief moment; the rest is either a life that is past or is an uncertain future.” Dwelling on the past, especially through rose-colored glasses, can rob us of the joy and potential of the now.
I’ve been there—reminiscing about “the good old days” and feeling like life will never be as fulfilling as it was then. But here’s what I’ve realized: those moments seemed magical because I was living them fully at the time.
When we let go of over-romanticizing the past, we open ourselves to the possibility that the best moments of our lives might still be ahead of us. Cherish your memories, but don’t let them define you. The present is where life happens—and it’s up to you to make it count.
4) Overlooking the importance of close relationships
What really makes us happy? It’s a big question, right?
The answer? Well, research by Harvard suggests it’s not fame, money, or success. The Harvard Study of Adult Development—a landmark 80-year-long study—found that the key to happiness and longevity is close, meaningful relationships.
Yet as we get older, so many of us find ourselves becoming more isolated. Sometimes it’s by choice, but often it just happens gradually, without us realizing it.
Don’t believe me? According to the World Health Organization, about 1 in 4 older adults in the U.S. are socially isolated—a staggering statistic with serious implications for both mental and physical health.
The good news is, it’s never too late to strengthen your connections or build new ones.
This might mean embracing new technologies like video calls and social media to stay connected with loved ones who live far away. Or it could involve stepping outside your comfort zone to join a local class, volunteer group, or community event where you can meet like-minded people.
The relationships you nurture today can profoundly enrich your life as you age. Don’t underestimate the power of a good conversation, a shared laugh, or simply having someone to lean on. After all, it’s the people we care about—and who care about us—that make life truly meaningful.
5) Pursuing happiness
Now, this might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.
Often, in our quest for a better life, we become obsessed with the pursuit of happiness. We set high expectations and believe that we’ll be happy once we achieve certain milestones – a promotion, a bigger house, or perhaps a perfect relationship.
But the truth is, the constant pursuit of happiness can actually make us unhappy. It’s because happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It’s found in the little moments of joy that we experience every day – not in some distant future event.
Instead of chasing after happiness, focus on cultivating gratitude for what you have right now. Take time each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. This simple act can significantly boost your overall sense of well-being and contentment.
Final thoughts
Aging is inevitable, but how we choose to approach it is entirely up to us. By letting go of these behaviors, we create space for more joy, connection, and fulfillment in our day-to-day lives.
If any of these points resonated with you, take it as an invitation to reflect and start small. Even one shift in mindset or habit can have a ripple effect, bringing more ease and vibrancy into your life.
You deserve a life that feels full—of purpose, connection, and joy. And the best part? That life is within your reach, starting today.
Here’s to letting go of what doesn’t serve us and embracing all that does.
