Have you ever met someone whose presence feels like a breath of fresh air—even as they age?
I’ve often wondered what makes certain people so enjoyable to be around. And over the years, I’ve noticed that it’s less about charm or wit (though those don’t hurt!) and more about the habits they’ve embraced—or better yet, let go of.
As we grow older, certain habits and behaviors can either enhance those connections or quietly erode them.
Today, we’re diving into six behaviors that can hold you back—and why saying goodbye to them might just make you the kind of person others look forward to being around.
Let’s get into it.
1) Complaining
As we get on in years, it’s easy to fall into the trap of complaining.
Whether it’s about aches and pains, the state of the world, or even the weather, constant negativity can creep in.
And it’s natural to voice concerns and share difficulties – but there’s a difference between having an honest conversation about life’s challenges and persistently dwelling on the negative.
Complaining not only drags down your mood but also impacts those around you. Over time, it can make you seem pessimistic or hard to please, even if that’s not your intention.
Instead, focus on gratitude and constructive conversations. Acknowledging the good—even in small things—can shift the energy of your interactions and make you a more uplifting presence.
2) Being dismissive
In my own journey of self-improvement, I realized a habit I needed to let go was being dismissive.
Let me share a quick story. A few years back, during a family gathering, a niece excitedly shared her plans about backpacking across Europe after her graduation.
Instead of showing genuine interest or offering encouragement, though, I found myself dismissing her plans as impractical and risky.
I had her best interests at heart but later it dawned on me how my response must have dampened her spirits.
Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to be more open-minded and supportive. By doing so, not only have I noticed an improvement in my relationships, but also a positive shift in how others perceive me.
3) Neglecting self-care
I know this one might seem a little out of place on this list, but hear me out.
To show up for others, we must first show up for ourselves. When we don’t, it can take a toll—and not just on us.
This is widely acknowledged by experts. For instance, those at Psych Central have noted that a lack of self-care is associated with low energy, less patience, and even reduced motivation to engage in social activities. Not exactly a recipe for being enjoyable to be around, right?
So, what exactly is self-care?
Well, it’s different for everyone. At its core, self-care means intentionally nurturing your well-being, whether that’s physically, emotionally, or mentally.
For me, it involves things like taking quiet morning walks, journaling, and carving out time to read.
For you, it might be yoga, catching up with a friend, or even treating yourself to a long bath at the end of the day.
Whatever it is, make time for it. Prioritizing self-care not only helps you feel better, but it also allows you to bring your best self into your relationships. And trust me—those around you will notice the difference.
4) Interrupting
We’ve all been there—eager to share our thoughts or experiences, we jump into a conversation before the other person has finished speaking. As we get older, this habit can become even more ingrained, especially if we feel we “know better” or have something valuable to add.
But interrupting isn’t just a bad habit; it can make others feel unheard and undervalued. No matter how well-intentioned your interjections may be, they can shut down meaningful exchanges and leave the impression that you care more about your own perspective than theirs.
Instead, practice active listening. Let people finish their thoughts, even if you’re excited to respond. This small shift can transform your conversations, making them richer and more balanced.
Listening well is one of the simplest ways to show respect—and it’s something people of all ages deeply appreciate.
5) Trying to appear perfect
This is a big one.
As we get older, we amass a wealth of experiences, and people often come to us for advice or guidance. There’s a temptation to present ourselves as if we’ve got it all figured out, to gloss over our struggles or mistakes in an effort to seem polished and wise.
But doing so is a mistake. People don’t connect with perfection; they connect with authenticity. Trying to appear flawless can make others feel inadequate, or worse, like they can’t relate to you. It creates distance instead of building meaningful connections.
Instead, embrace vulnerability. As renowned researcher Brené Brown notes, vulnerability is the “source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.” Sharing your real experiences—the wins and the struggles—shows courage and humanity. It invites others to do the same, deepening trust and mutual respect.
Perfection may impress, but vulnerability connects. And connection is what makes relationships thrive, no matter your age.
6) Holding on to grudges
Life is full of misunderstandings, disappointments, and conflicts—it’s inevitable.
But as we grow older, clinging to grudges can weigh us down and sour our relationships. Whether it’s a friend who let you down or a family member who said the wrong thing, holding onto resentment doesn’t just hurt them; it hurts you too.
Carrying grudges can make you seem distant, bitter, or hard to approach. Worse, it can prevent you from fully enjoying the time you have with the people who matter most.
Instead, practice forgiveness—not because the other person necessarily “deserves” it, but because you deserve peace. Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior; it means choosing to prioritize your well-being and your relationships over past pain.
Final thoughts: It’s about growth
As we navigate through life, it’s easy to pick up habits that don’t serve us—or those around us. But the good news is, it’s never too late to make a change.
Whether it’s complaining less, listening more, or embracing vulnerability, these small shifts can make a big difference—not just in how others perceive us but in how we experience our own lives.
Here’s to aging with grace, joy, and meaningful connections. You’ve got this.
