Becoming a parent is one of life’s greatest transformations. It’s not just about caring for a child—it’s about becoming the kind of person they can look up to.
If you’re already thinking about how to prepare for parenthood, you’re on the right track. Exceptional parenting begins long before your child arrives.
The truth is, children don’t just learn from what you teach them; they absorb who you are. Your habits, your mindset, and even the way you handle your own challenges will shape their world.
That’s why it’s so crucial to address the behaviors that could unintentionally limit your ability to be the parent you aspire to become.
Her are eight common behaviors that can hinder your parenting skills—and how letting go of them now can set the stage for showing up as the parent you aspire to be.
1) Impatience
Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. And trust me, it’s not a race you can rush through.
Every moment, every tantrum, every joyous occasion – they’re all a part of the journey.
But impatience?
That’s the one behavior you need to ditch, pronto.
It’s not just about waiting for your kid to finally tie their shoelaces after the 50th attempt. It’s about understanding that growth takes time and that everyone has their own pace.
As a parent, your role is to be there, to guide and support, not rush and push. Get rid of impatience and you’ll discover a much smoother parenting path ahead of you.
2) Negativity
Ah, negativity, my old friend.
I remember a time when I would come home from work, tired and worn out, and my kid would greet me with a beaming smile and a new drawing.
But instead of appreciating it, I would start pointing out the flaws – the lines that weren’t straight, the colors that were out of place.
Bad day at work or not, my negativity was rubbing off on my kid. And it wasn’t fair.
Kids look up to us for validation and approval. If we keep focusing on the negatives, they’ll start doing the same.
So, I made a conscious effort to change. To focus on the positives. To appreciate the efforts rather than just the outcome.
And guess what? It made a world of difference.
3) Lack of consistency
Parenting is a bit like juggling. You’re constantly trying to keep multiple balls in the air while maintaining a steady rhythm. And just like in juggling, consistency is key.
Did you know the human brain loves patterns? It thrives on consistency and predictability.
This is especially true for children. Consistent routines and expectations provide a sense of security and help them understand the world around them.
But when we, as parents, lack consistency – when we say one thing and do another, or when we change the rules on a whim – it confuses our children and makes them feel insecure.
So, if you want to be an exceptional parent one day, make consistency your new best friend.
4) Overprotectiveness
As parents, it’s natural for us to want to shield our children from the harsh realities of the world. We want to keep them safe, to protect them from pain and disappointment.
But it’s important to remember that a little bit of struggle is necessary for growth.
Overprotectiveness can lead to children feeling incapable and dependent. It hinders their ability to learn from their mistakes and become resilient individuals.
Instead, we should strive to be there for our children when they stumble, guide them when they’re lost, and support them as they learn to navigate the world on their own.
Remember, our goal as parents is not just to raise happy children, but also competent and confident adults.
5) Lack of self-care
I’ll be the first to admit it – once I became a parent, my own needs took a backseat. It felt like there was always something more important, something more urgent that needed my attention.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned – you can’t pour from an empty cup. If I’m not taking care of myself, how can I take care of another human being?
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It’s about keeping yourself physically healthy and emotionally stable so that you can be the best parent you can be.
So, I started exercising again, reading books, having coffee with friends. And you know what? I became a better parent because of it.
So, if you aspire to be an exceptional parent one day, remember to take care of yourself too. It’s not just about raising happy kids, but also about being a happy parent.
6) Always being the fixer
Our instinct as parents is to solve our children’s problems. After all, we hate to see them struggle or in pain. But sometimes, the best thing we can do for them is to step back.
It might seem like the opposite of what you should do, but hear me out.
When we always swoop in to fix things, we’re robbing our children of the opportunity to learn and grow. They need to experience failure, frustration, and disappointment to build resilience and problem-solving skills.
So next time your child faces a challenge, resist the urge to immediately step in. Instead, offer guidance and support, and give them the space to figure it out.
Our job as parents isn’t to make life perfect for our children but to prepare them for life.
7) Comparing your child to others
In a world where social media often paints a picture of perfection, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your child to others.
But here’s the thing – every child is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses, their own pace of growth and learning.
Comparing doesn’t do any good. In fact, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem in your child. It can make them feel like they’re not good enough just as they are.
Instead, focus on your child’s individual growth and development.
Celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Encourage their interests and passions.
Because at the end of the day, what matters is not how your child compares to others, but whether they’re growing into the best version of themselves.
8) Ignoring your intuition
No one knows your child better than you do. No book, no expert, no well-meaning friend or relative. You are the best judge of what’s right for your child.
So trust your gut and listen to your instincts, always. They’re there for a reason.
You might make mistakes along the way, and that’s okay. Parenting is a learning process, and we’re all figuring it out as we go. But never underestimate the power of parental intuition.
It’s your secret weapon in this journey of parenthood. Use it wisely!
Final thoughts
By letting go of these eight behaviors now, you’re not just preparing for parenthood; you’re building a solid foundation for your future family.
The work you do on yourself today will have a ripple effect on your child’s life. They’ll learn resilience from your example, kindness from your actions, and self-worth from the way you value yourself.
This journey of personal growth isn’t just for you—it’s a gift to your future child.
