We all know that being the person others enjoy spending time with doesn’t come from being flashy or overly impressive.
It’s about how you make people feel when they’re around you.
Sometimes, though, we unintentionally let certain habits get in the way of creating that easy, enjoyable vibe.
These subtle patterns can sneak into our interactions without us even noticing. They might start small, but over time, they can leave others feeling drained, frustrated, or even unimportant.
The good news? You can always change how you show up. By recognizing and letting go of these behaviors, you’ll naturally create space for better, more positive interactions.
Let’s break down the eight things that could be holding you back from becoming someone people genuinely enjoy being around.
1) Dominating every conversation
Everyone enjoys a good chat, but there’s a clear line between sharing and dominating.
When you’re always the one talking, it can quickly become tiresome for those around you. Chances are, you might be hogging the conversation without even realizing it.
People like to share their thoughts and experiences too. Communication is a two-way street, and listening plays a huge part in it.
A good conversation is interactive. So the next time you find yourself monopolizing the discussion, take a step back. Encourage others to speak. Show interest in what they have to say.
Remember, a conversation is not a monologue. By being more mindful in discussions, you’ll become more enjoyable to be around.
2) Being overly negative
We all have our off days, and it’s okay to vent sometimes. But there’s a difference between occasionally sharing frustrations and constantly radiating negativity.
I recall a friend I used to hang out with. Every time we met, he’d always complain about his life, his job, the weather – you name it.
Slowly, I found myself avoiding him. Not because I didn’t care about his problems, but because his constant negativity was draining.
People are naturally drawn to positivity. A positive outlook can make your company enjoyable, even when things are tough.
So try to keep your complaints in check. Share your problems, but also share your joys, your wins, and your dreams. Seek solutions rather than dwelling on problems. Trust me, people will appreciate the balance.
3) Not respecting personal boundaries
Here’s the thing—nobody likes feeling smothered, pressured, or like they’re under a microscope.
If you’re constantly pushing into someone’s personal space, whether physically or emotionally, it’s bound to rub them the wrong way.
Respecting boundaries isn’t just polite; it’s what makes people feel safe and comfortable around you.
Maybe it’s calling someone every hour for updates or jumping into topics they clearly don’t want to discuss.
Even little things, like standing too close or oversharing, can be off-putting if the other person isn’t on the same wavelength.
People appreciate when you give them room to breathe—literally and figuratively.
The key is simple: read the room and respect the vibe. If someone seems hesitant or withdraws, it’s probably a sign to back off a little.
Respecting boundaries shows you’re attentive and considerate, which makes people feel valued instead of overwhelmed.
And honestly, who wouldn’t want to hang out with someone who knows how to give them space when they need it?
4) Letting your ego take the wheel
In the journey of life, it’s easy for our ego to take the driver’s seat. We may start viewing ourselves as the center of the universe, forgetting to consider others.
This is where Buddhist teachings come in handy. Buddhism emphasizes the importance of letting go of ego to achieve peace and harmony. It teaches us to be mindful, compassionate, and selfless.
Halfway through writing my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I realized how transformative these teachings could be.
The book delves into these concepts in depth, offering practical tips on how to reduce ego in our daily lives.
When we let go of our ego, we become more open and understanding. We listen more, judge less, and are more considerate of others’ feelings.
And trust me, people will genuinely enjoy your company when you’re less about ‘I’ and more about ‘we’.
5) Always striving to be right
Speaking of ego, being right feels good, doesn’t it? It’s validating, affirming.
However, insisting on being right all the time can come off as arrogant or stubborn. It can create tension and lead to unnecessary conflicts.
Here’s a little secret: you don’t have to be right all the time to be respected or liked. In fact, admitting that you’re wrong sometimes shows humility and openness.
So the next time you find yourself in an argument, ask yourself: is it more important to win this argument, or to maintain this relationship? The answer might surprise you.
6) Always trying to please everyone
Counterintuitive as it may sound, always trying to please others can actually make you less enjoyable to be around.
Why? Because it often leads to a lack of authenticity.
People value honesty and genuine connections. They can sense when you’re just saying what you think they want to hear. And over time, this can create a sense of distrust and distance.
Instead of always trying to please, focus on being true to yourself while still being respectful of others. This can lead to deeper, more genuine connections with the people around you.
Look, it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. And that’s perfectly okay. What’s important is that you stay true to who you are.
7) Being judgmental
We all have our own set of beliefs and values, but being judgmental of others can hinder our ability to build strong connections. It can make people feel uncomfortable, misunderstood, or even attacked.
When we judge others, it sends a clear message that we believe our way is the only right way. This can push people away rather than drawing them in.
Instead, try to cultivate an open mind. Accept that people are different and that’s what makes the world an interesting place. Seek to understand before forming conclusions.
By replacing judgment with curiosity, you’ll create an environment where people feel safe to be themselves. And that’s when they’ll genuinely start enjoying your company.
8) Not showing real interest in others
At the heart of all these behaviors lies one essential truth: people want to be seen, heard, and valued. If you want people to genuinely enjoy your company, show real interest in them. It really is that simple.
Ask about their day. Listen to their stories. Show empathy when they’re going through a tough time. Be excited for their achievements.
It’s these small acts of kindness and understanding that can make a big difference.
Remember, genuine interest can’t be faked. So take the time to really get to know the people around you. It’s the most effective way to make your presence enjoyable for others.
Final thought: It’s about genuine connection
At the end of the day, the behaviors we’ve discussed all circle back to one fundamental truth: people crave genuine connection.
We all want to be seen, heard, and valued. We want to engage with others in a meaningful way, not just on a superficial level.
And when we feel this genuine connection, that’s when we truly enjoy someone’s company.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into how Buddhism emphasizes the importance of selflessness and genuine connections.
It teaches us to let go of our ego and be mindful of our behaviors, making our interactions more authentic and enjoyable for others.
So as you reflect on these behaviors, remember that the goal is not to change who you are, but to become a better version of yourself — one who respects boundaries, listens more than talks, avoids negativity, and shows genuine interest in others.
The journey to becoming more enjoyable to be around is a rewarding one. Not only will it enhance your relationships with others, but it can also lead to self-growth and inner peace. And isn’t that worth striving for?
