We all have an inner critic, and while a healthy dose of self-reflection is good, there’s a fine line between being self-aware and taking yourself too seriously.
The problem with the latter? It can be a massive roadblock to personal growth, happiness, and genuine connections with others.
The key to breaking free lies in recognizing the signs. In this article, I’ll walk you through 8 telltale signs that you might be taking yourself too seriously – and how to let go.
Buckle up and let’s dive into some self-discovery.
1) You’re a perfectionist
Perfectionism is a sneaky sign that you’re taking yourself too seriously.
We all strive to do our best, but when you start to obsess over every tiny detail and can’t accept anything less than perfect, you’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
This constant self-scrutiny can not only lead to burnout but also hampers your ability to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
Look, it’s okay to make mistakes. They are, after all, the stepping stones to success. Learning to embrace imperfections is the first step toward letting go and living a more balanced, fulfilling life.
So next time you find yourself striving for perfection, take a step back, breathe and remind yourself – nobody’s perfect.
2) You can’t take a joke
Here’s a personal example: I remember a time when I was at a party with some friends. We were sharing funny stories, and someone decided to share an embarrassing story about me from our college days.
Instead of laughing along, I felt my face burning with embarrassment. I suddenly became defensive and sullen for the rest of the evening. It was a harmless story, but I was so wrapped up in my image that I couldn’t see the humor in the situation.
That was a big wake-up call.
If you find yourself unable to laugh at yourself or take things lightly, chances are, you’re taking yourself too seriously.
Laughter, especially at ourselves, is a great way to keep our egos in check. It reminds us that we’re all human, prone to silly mistakes and goofy moments. Lightening up can do wonders for your mental well-being and your relationships with others.
3) You’re often on the defensive
When you take yourself too seriously, jokes aren’t the only thing you’re defensive about. You also tend to take criticism and feedback as a personal attack.
Now, our brains are naturally wired to react defensively. Psychologists call it the “fight or flight” response. It’s a survival mechanism that kicks in when we perceive a threat.
However, in today’s world, this response often gets triggered in situations where it’s not needed – like receiving constructive criticism.
If you find yourself reacting defensively or feeling attacked, I suggest taking a deep breath and remembering that feedback isn’t an attack on your character. It’s an opportunity for learning and growth. Instead of fighting back, try to listen, understand, and apply that feedback positively.
4) You’re overly attached to outcomes
In Buddhism, there’s a concept called ‘non-attachment’, which is about accepting change and letting go of the desire to control every aspect of our lives.
It doesn’t mean not caring about outcomes, but rather, it’s about focusing on the process and effort, instead of obsessing over the results.
Attachment to outcomes can be a clear sign you’re taking yourself too seriously. You might find that your self-worth is tied directly to your achievements and you internalize failure, seeing it as a reflection of who you are as a person.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into the practice of non-attachment and how it can help us lead more fulfilling lives.
This concept can be particularly helpful if you find yourself overly attached to outcomes, as it encourages us to let go of our ego-driven desires and expectations.
By embracing non-attachment, we can learn to value the journey over the destination and let go of the idea that our worth is determined by external successes or failures. This shift in mindset can help reduce stress, improve our relationships, and ultimately lead to a more balanced and contented life.
5) You avoid leisure activities
There was a time when I found myself consistently turning down invitations to casual hangouts, parties, or even just a relaxing evening at home. Work was always the priority, and I felt that spending time on “non-productive” activities was wasteful.
But in truth, I was taking myself too seriously. I was so focused on achieving goals and maintaining a certain image that I forgot to simply enjoy life.
If you find yourself constantly prioritizing work over fun or relaxation, it might be time to reassess.
Leisure activities are not a waste of time; they are essential for our mental and emotional well-being. They provide us with an opportunity to unwind, recharge, and simply enjoy the present moment.
So, make some time for hobbies, relaxation, or even just doing nothing. It’s okay to let loose once in a while. It won’t make you less successful or less respected – in fact, it might just make you happier and more balanced.
6) You’re always busy
In our society, being busy is often equated with being important or successful. But here’s the twist – constantly being busy might actually mean you’re taking yourself too seriously.
Think about it. If you feel the need to fill every moment of your day with tasks and commitments, you might be using busyness as a mask to hide insecurities or to uphold a certain image.
True productivity isn’t about being busy all the time, it’s about being effective and efficient in what we do. And sometimes, that means knowing when to take a break, slow down, and give ourselves permission to relax. This is pretty much connected to my previous point.
Again, I encourage you to try taking a step back. Evaluate whether all your activities are truly necessary or if they’re just filling up space. It’s not only okay to have downtime – it’s essential for maintaining balance in life.
7) You struggle to ask for help
Do you find it extremely difficult to ask for help, even when you’re struggling? This could be another sign that you’re taking yourself too seriously.
It’s natural to want to be independent and solve problems on our own. The fear of appearing weak or incompetent can be a major barrier in reaching out to others.
But here’s the truth – everyone needs help sometimes, and asking for it doesn’t make you any less competent or capable.
Recognize that seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness, but an act of courage. It shows that you’re committed to learning, growing, and overcoming obstacles.
No one is expected to have all the answers. We’re all constantly learning and improving. So next time you’re in a bind, don’t hesitate to reach out. You might be surprised by the support and kindness others are willing to give.
8) You forget to practice self-compassion
Perhaps the most crucial sign you’re taking yourself too seriously is when you forget to practice self-compassion.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. It’s about accepting that you, like everyone else, are human and will make mistakes.
If you’re constantly hard on yourself, struggling with self-criticism or beating yourself up over every mistake, it’s a clear sign that you need to step back and start practicing self-compassion.
Look, we’re all works in progress. We all have off days. There’s no point in beating ourselves up over and over for not being perfect because we will never be!
Start being kinder to yourself — not only will this improve your mental wellbeing but it will also train you to stop taking yourself too seriously.
Reflection: The key to letting go
The problem with taking ourselves too seriously is that it can get in the way of living a full and authentic life.
Understanding that it’s okay to make mistakes, laugh at yourself, ask for help, and even take some time off is fundamental in learning to let go. It’s about accepting that we are all perfectly imperfect humans, constantly learning and growing.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I discuss these concepts in greater depth. I explore the Buddhist principle of non-attachment, which can be particularly beneficial if you’re struggling with taking yourself too seriously.
It encourages us to let go of our ego-driven desires and expectations, freeing ourselves from the self-imposed pressures that come along with them.
So take a moment, breathe in deeply, let go of the serious persona and embrace the beautiful imperfections that make you human. It’s time to live life with maximum impact and minimum ego.
