Feeling like there’s “never enough” can be an exhausting way to live. It’s a mindset that can trap you in a constant cycle of wanting more, yet never feeling satisfied.
What if I told you, this might be less about what you have or don’t have, and more about your perspective?
Switching your mindset can make all the difference, inviting a sense of contentment and fulfillment into your life, rather than perpetual discontent.
In this article, we’ll explore why you might need to ditch the “never enough” mentality and how to start seeing your world through a different lens.
1) The comparison game
We live in a world where we’re constantly bombarded with images of other people’s lives – their successes, their possessions, their seemingly perfect experiences.
Social media has a way of amplifying this, often leading us to compare our own lives with the highlight reels of others.
This comparison game can be a slippery slope, leading us to feel like we never have enough. We look at others and think they have more, they’re doing more, they’re achieving more. And we feel less in comparison.
This mindset of ‘never enough’ is often fuelled by these comparisons. It’s an endless chase where the finish line keeps moving further away.
But here’s the thing – it’s not a fair or accurate comparison. You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel.
Recognizing this can be the start of shifting your mindset. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, try appreciating what you do have. This shift from comparison to appreciation can make a world of difference in how you perceive ‘enough’.
2) The trap of perfectionism
I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. In school, work, and even in my personal life, I strived for the best. I thought perfection was the goal.
But this pursuit of perfection led me to a place where nothing ever felt enough. No achievement was high enough, no project was good enough, no effort was strong enough. There was always something more to be done, something better out there.
And let me tell you, it was exhausting. I constantly felt like I was running on a hamster wheel, chasing an elusive idea of ‘perfect’ that just never seemed within reach.
Then one day, I stumbled upon a quote by Salvador Dali: “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” It struck a chord with me.
I realized that this constant pursuit of perfection was not only draining but also unattainable. Perfection is an illusion. It’s subjective and ever-changing.
So I decided to shift my mindset – from seeking perfection to seeking progress.
And what a difference it made! Suddenly, life became less about the end goal and more about the journey. I started valuing my efforts and celebrating small wins. And most importantly, I started feeling ‘enough’.
It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But it’s a shift that’s been worth every bit of effort. So if you’re stuck in the same pattern, maybe it’s time to reconsider your relationship with perfection.
3) The paradox of choice
In today’s world, we’re often spoilt for choice. From the food we eat to the clothes we wear, from the shows we watch to the products we buy – there’s an endless array of options.
While this may seem like a good thing, it can often lead to a feeling of ‘never enough’. Why? Because with so many choices, we’re forever questioning our decisions, wondering if there’s something better out there.
This phenomenon was studied by psychologist Barry Schwartz, who found that while some choice can be liberating, too much can lead to anxiety and stress. He found that instead of feeling satisfied with their decisions, people often felt regret and disappointment, thinking they could have made a better choice.
So if you often find yourself feeling like there’s ‘never enough’, it might be worth considering whether you’re being overwhelmed by too many choices. A shift in mindset towards appreciating what you have, rather than constantly seeking something better, could be a game-changer.
4) The scarcity mentality
The ‘never enough’ mindset often stems from what is known as the scarcity mentality. This is a belief that there’s a limited amount of success, happiness, or resources in the world.
This mentality can make us feel like we’re in constant competition with others. If someone else gets a promotion, for example, it can feel like there’s one less opportunity for us.
But the reality is, life isn’t a zero-sum game. There’s enough room for everyone to succeed and be happy.
If you find yourself trapped in this scarcity mindset, it might be time to shift to an abundance mentality. This is the belief that there’s plenty for everyone. When you operate from this mindset, you realize that someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your own.
Shifting from scarcity to abundance helps cultivate a sense of satisfaction and contentment with what you have, rather than constantly feeling like there’s ‘never enough’.
5) The neglect of self-love
At the heart of the ‘never enough’ mindset often lies a deep-seated sense of inadequacy. When we don’t feel good enough ourselves, nothing we do, have, or achieve feels enough either.
This stems from a lack of self-love and acceptance. We can become our own harshest critics, always pushing for more and dismissing our own worth.
I can’t stress this enough – you are enough just as you are. Your worth isn’t defined by your achievements, possessions, or what others think of you. It’s inherent and undeniable.
Shifting your mindset starts with embracing self-love. It’s about recognizing your worth, celebrating your strengths, and accepting your imperfections. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
When we start loving and accepting ourselves, the need for ‘more’ starts to diminish. We begin to feel content with who we are and what we have. So if you’re stuck with the ‘never enough’ mindset, remember to love yourself first. This could be the most powerful shift you make.
6) The illusion of control
I spent a significant part of my life trying to control everything around me. I believed that if I could manage all aspects – work, relationships, finances – perfectly, I would finally feel like it was enough.
But life, as it often does, had other plans. Unexpected events came along. Goals changed. Things fell apart. And with every twist and turn, the feeling of ‘never enough’ intensified.
It took me a while to understand that this illusion of control was a big part of my ‘never enough’ mindset. Life is unpredictable and constantly evolving, and trying to control it all was not only exhausting but also futile.
I had to learn to let go. To accept that some things are beyond my control and that’s okay. I learned to focus on what I could control – my actions, my reactions, my mindset – and let the rest unfold as it was meant to.
This shift wasn’t easy, but it was liberating. It took away the pressure of having everything under control and allowed me to find contentment in the present moment.
If you’re constantly feeling like there’s ‘never enough’, maybe it’s time to examine your need for control and embrace the beautiful uncertainty of life.
7) The impact of gratitude
Sometimes, the ‘never enough’ mindset is a result of overlooking what’s already present in our lives. We’re so focused on what we lack, what we desire, or what’s next, that we forget to appreciate what we already have.
Gratitude can be a powerful antidote to this. By consciously acknowledging and appreciating the good in our lives, our focus shifts from lack to abundance.
Start by making a habit of reflecting on things you’re grateful for each day. It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a call from a friend, or even just a moment of peace in a busy day.
Over time, this practice can shift your mindset from ‘never enough’ to ‘plenty’. It’s a small change, but it can have a profound impact on your overall sense of contentment and satisfaction.
8) The power of now
Often, our ‘never enough’ mindset is tied to the future. We tell ourselves we’ll be happy or content when we get that promotion, when we buy that house, when we reach that milestone.
But true contentment comes from living in the present moment.
It’s about finding joy and fulfillment in the here and now, not in some distant future. It’s about appreciating the journey, not just the destination.
Remember, life is happening right now. If we’re always waiting for ‘enough’, we might miss out on the beauty and joy that’s right in front of us.
So if you’re stuck in a ‘never enough’ mindset, start by embracing the power of now. It’s not always easy, but it’s a shift that can bring more contentment and peace into your life than you ever thought possible.
Final reflections: It’s within you
Our mindsets, beliefs, and attitudes are deeply intertwined with our daily experiences and overall sense of fulfillment.
If you’re constantly feeling like there’s “never enough”, it might be less about what you’re lacking and more about your perspective.
The ‘never enough’ framework is often fueled by external factors – societal pressures, comparisons, inflated expectations, and the illusion of perfection. But the power to shift this mindset resides within you.
Remember the words of renowned author and motivational speaker, Wayne Dyer – “Abundance is not something we acquire. It’s something we tune into.”
Consider this as an invitation to tune into your own abundance. To shift from comparison to appreciation, from scarcity to abundance, from perfection to progress.
It’s about recognizing that ‘enough’ is not a destination out there, but a state of being right here, right now.
Take a moment to reflect on this. You might discover that you’ve been ‘enough’, had ‘enough’, and done ‘enough’ all along.
