Have you ever found yourself wondering why happiness seems harder to come by these days?
I know I have.
It wasn’t until I started paying closer attention to my habits that I realized something important: it’s not always about adding more things to your life to make you happy. Sometimes, it’s about letting go of what’s quietly holding you back.
Today, we’re diving into some habits that could be keeping happiness at arm’s length—and how dropping them can make all the difference.
Let’s get started.
1) Overthinking
It’s easy to fall into the trap of overthinking.
You replay events in your head, analyze every interaction, and worry about all the things that could possibly go wrong.
Before you know it, you’re trapped in, as the folks at Very Well Mind put it, an “endless cycle of stress and worry, which can ultimately cause you to feel frustrated and less confident.”
It keeps us stuck in our heads, preventing us from enjoying the present moment.
But the good news is the first step is awareness. Once you realize you’re overthinking, you can work towards breaking this habit.
The next time you find yourself spiraling into an overthinking loop, pause, take a few deep breaths, and remind yourself that happiness is not found in the past or the future but in the present moment.
2) Neglecting self-care
I’ve personally been guilty of this one.
There was a time in my life when I was so focused on my work and meeting the expectations of others that I completely neglected my own needs. I skipped meals, sacrificed sleep, and told myself I didn’t have time for exercise or hobbies.
The result? I was constantly stressed, irritable, and downright miserable. Happiness felt like a distant dream.
It took me a while to realize that neglecting self-care wasn’t doing me any favors. In fact, it was sabotaging my happiness.
But when I did, I started making small changes. I ensured I ate three meals a day, made time for exercise, and even indulged in activities I enjoyed – like reading and gardening.
It wasn’t easy, but slowly, I noticed a shift. I was less stressed, more energized, and yes – happier.
This is well backed up by experts. As the folks at Choosing Therapy have noted self-care is associated with lower stress levels, better relationships, and increased happiness.
Your needs matter, too. Incorporate self-care into your routine and watch your happiness levels rise.
3) Holding onto grudges
Holding onto anger and resentment is like swallowing a poison pill and expecting the other person to get sick. It doesn’t work that way. The only person it hurts is you.
When you hold a grudge, you’re giving someone else control over your emotional well-being. You’re allowing their actions to dictate your happiness.
Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean you’re condoning someone’s behavior or forgetting what they did. It simply means that you’re choosing your peace of mind over your anger.
4) Comparing yourself to others
In the age of social media, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of comparison.
However, when you compare your life to others, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re looking at their ‘best moments’, while being fully aware of your own struggles and flaws.
Everyone has their own journey and their own struggles that you might not be aware of.
As advised by clinical psychologist and author Jordan Peterson, “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today”. Focus on your own growth and happiness instead.
5) Chasing perfection
At first glance, chasing perfection might seem admirable. After all, who doesn’t want to do their best?
Well, there’s a catch: always striving for perfection can hurt more than it helps.
As noted by WebMD, perfectionism is linked to a host of negative outcomes, from strained relationships and decreased productivity to heightened anxiety and even physical health issues.
The constant pressure to meet impossibly high standards can leave you feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and never quite satisfied with your efforts.
Instead of holding yourself to unattainable ideals, try embracing “good enough.” It doesn’t mean settling for mediocrity—it means recognizing when your efforts are sufficient and allowing yourself the space to grow without the weight of perfection dragging you down.
Happiness thrives when we let go of the need to be flawless and appreciate progress over perfection.
6) Living in the past or future
It’s easy to get caught up in the “what ifs” of the past and the “what could be” of the future. But when you’re constantly living in the past or future, you’re missing out on the present moment.
The past is filled with memories and lessons, but it’s not a place to live. The future holds possibilities and hopes, but it’s not guaranteed.
The only moment you truly have is the present. It’s where life happens. It’s where happiness is found.
7) Not expressing gratitude
In the hustle of daily life, it’s easy to overlook the good things we already have. We’re often so focused on what’s missing or what’s next that we forget to appreciate what’s right in front of us.
But gratitude is a powerful tool for happiness.
As psychology professor Robert Emmons, a leading expert on gratitude, has noted, “Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret, and depression.”
Taking stock of the good in your life—whether it’s the support of loved ones, the beauty of a sunny day, or simply having a roof over your head—shifts your focus away from what you lack and toward what you already have. This shift in perspective can make all the difference.
Make it a habit to reflect on what you’re grateful for each day, and watch how it lifts your mood and enhances your overall sense of well-being. Happiness often blooms where appreciation grows.
Final thought: The power of choice
The habits we’ve discussed are all choices: the choice to overthink, to ignore self-care, to compare ourselves to others, to hold onto grudges, to chase perfection, to live in the past or future, and to overlook gratitude.
But the beauty of it is that we also have the choice to let go of these habits. To step forward into growth. To choose happiness.
It will not always be easy. It will require conscious effort, and sometimes, it will mean stepping out of our comfort zones. But ultimately, the choice is ours.
Choose happiness. And watch as your life transforms.
