I’ve always been fascinated by those who seem to grow happier and more fulfilled as they get older—like they’ve discovered a secret map to contentment that the rest of us haven’t seen yet.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat around the dinner table with older relatives or mentors, listening to their stories and noticing the common threads. They laugh more easily, they don’t sweat the small stuff, and they seem to have a stronger sense of self.
Over the years, I’ve picked up on certain habits they’ve consciously let go of, and I’ve tried my best to follow their example.
Today, I want to share eight habits that often hold people back from living a more joyful life as they head into their 60s, 70s, and beyond.
Letting go of these now can give you a head start on a more peaceful, purposeful, and downright fun life in your later years.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
I once read a piece in Harvard Business Review about how constant comparison drains our energy and self-esteem, making it difficult to appreciate our own progress. We’re surrounded by highlight reels on social media, so it’s easy to feel behind or inadequate when everyone else seems to be living their best life.
I’ve fallen into that trap myself—checking my phone and wondering why I wasn’t accomplishing as much as someone else in my field. It took me a while to realize that comparison is a game you can’t win. There’s always going to be someone with a bigger house, a glitzier job, or a more impressive vacation.
When we reach our 60s, we want to look back and be proud of the path we walked, not haunted by how well someone else did. If you find yourself scrolling and feeling down, try unfollowing or muting accounts that spark comparisons. Fill your feed (and your mind) with content that genuinely inspires you.
Each time you catch yourself comparing, pause and remind yourself of one recent personal accomplishment. It may feel small at first, but it’s a step toward celebrating your unique journey.
2. Drop the negative self-talk
Self-criticism can become a bad habit that erodes our confidence bit by bit. When I used to launch new projects, I’d sometimes slip into a spiral of harsh inner dialogue: “You’re going to fail,” or “You’re not cut out for this.” Over time, it forms an invisible barrier between us and our true potential.
As we age, this negative voice tends to grow louder if we don’t actively manage it. It’s like a radio station playing in the background of our mind, constantly reminding us of our perceived shortcomings.
Negative self-talk zaps joy, can harm relationships, and might even keep us from trying new experiences that could enrich our later years.
One practice I’ve found helpful is challenging negative thoughts the moment they appear. Imagine you’re speaking to a friend—would you ever call them a failure for trying something new? Probably not. So why do it to yourself?
3. Let go of fear of change
Change is inevitable. Our careers evolve, family dynamics shift, and our own interests expand or contract. I used to be afraid of changes in my routine or environment, worried that trying something new might set me back.
But I noticed that the happiest older folks I’ve known embrace change—even if they do so with caution and a bit of uncertainty.
This might mean switching up your exercise routine, relocating to a new neighborhood, or exploring a new hobby. Adam Grant once wrote about how stepping out of our comfort zone can help us grow more resilient. If we practice adaptability now, we’re building a mindset that will serve us well in our 60s and beyond.
Think about one area in your life where you’re hesitating to embrace change. Maybe it’s learning a new technology or attending a new social group. Give it a try for a week. Notice how stepping forward, even in small ways, builds confidence.
4. Stop ignoring your body
I used to think that working nonstop was a badge of honor. Long hours, lots of caffeine, minimal sleep—I thought that was the secret sauce to success.
It took a few personal wake-up calls (and conversations with my older relatives) to realize that health is something we can’t fully appreciate until it’s under threat.
Ignoring our body’s signals—whether it’s constant fatigue, recurring aches, or stress-induced issues—can lead to bigger problems down the road. The best gift you can give your future self is consistent attention to physical well-being.
That doesn’t mean we need to become marathon runners. Even small changes, like taking the stairs, choosing water over sugary drinks, or setting aside five minutes of stretching, can accumulate into major benefits.
5. Ditch holding onto grudges
Holding onto old resentments is like dragging a heavy suitcase wherever you go.
I’ve had my fair share of disagreements, and there were times I found it hard to let go of my anger. But I also noticed that it took a huge toll on my mood and relationships.
Brené Brown has spoken about the power of vulnerability and forgiveness, suggesting that letting go of grudges is more for our own peace than for the person who hurt us.
Anger can be a protective mechanism, but it also blocks us from deeper joy and compassion. By releasing grudges, we clear emotional space for healthier connections and experiences.
6. Stop isolating yourself socially
In my younger years, I had a tendency to retreat when things got tough. I’d isolate myself, convinced I had to solve every challenge alone.
While short periods of solitude can be restorative, chronic isolation robs us of one of life’s greatest resources: genuine human connection.
Loneliness can take a real toll on mental health, especially as we get older and circumstances change—children move away, friends might be less available, or we retire from busy careers.
Staying socially active, whether through volunteering, joining clubs, or attending community events, brings a sense of belonging that can’t be replaced by an online connection alone.
So, pick up the phone and call a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while. Even a quick chat can remind you how good it feels to stay connected. Schedule a face-to-face visit if possible to keep the relationship thriving.
7. Say goodbye to clutter (physical and mental)
Clutter sneaks up on us over the years—piles of papers, old clothes, random trinkets we never use. I’ve found that when my living space is messy, my mind feels equally cluttered. And the older we get, the more important it becomes to make room for clarity and calm.
Clearing out physical clutter also has a symbolic effect on our mental state. Letting go of things we don’t need can feel like cutting ties with outdated mindsets or expectations. It frees up space for what truly matters.
A friend of mine who recently entered his 60s told me he’s never felt lighter in his life after donating boxes of unused items to charity.
8. Stop living without curiosity
One of my biggest goals for later life is to stay curious. I never want to stop asking questions or discovering new ideas. Sometimes we fall into routines so rigid that we stop learning about the world around us.
Curiosity is a powerful motivator—it propels us to try fresh experiences, meet new people, and explore interests we might not have considered in our younger years.
I’ve seen people in their 60s start painting for the first time, or learn to play an instrument they’ve always admired. Curiosity keeps our minds active and our hearts open.
Set aside time each week to explore something that piques your interest. It can be a new cuisine, a hobby, or a thought-provoking podcast. Notice how this mindset shifts your perspective and enriches your day.
Conclusion
When I picture myself in my 60s, I see someone who’s content with life’s ups and downs, open to new experiences, and at peace with both the victories and failures of the past.
But none of that happens by accident. Building a happier future means actively identifying what’s holding us back and being willing to let it go.
These eight habits—comparing yourself to others, negative self-talk, fear of change, ignoring your body, holding onto grudges, isolating yourself, allowing clutter to pile up, and losing curiosity—can weigh on us.
Over time, they chip away at our sense of fulfillment. By saying goodbye to them now, you can create space for healthier habits, stronger relationships, and a more resilient perspective.
So pick at least one habit to tackle this week, and you’ll be one step closer to the kind of happiness that only gets richer as the years go by.
