My favorite saying has always been, “Honesty is the best policy.”
This principle has guided me through many of life’s ups and downs, offering a compass in moments of moral ambiguity. Indeed, transparency can foster trust and strengthen relationships — both personal and professional.
But is there such a thing as too much honesty?
According to psychology, the answer might surprise you.
Here’s the gist.
While openness and honesty are generally viewed as positive traits, there are instances where it might be healthier and more beneficial to keep certain things to ourselves. It’s about striking that delicate balance between authenticity and discretion.
So, if you’ve ever found yourself pondering, “Should I have shared that?” or “Was that too personal?”, then stick around.
We’re about to delve into seven things in life you’re better off keeping to yourself, according to psychology.
Remember, it’s not about cultivating secrets; it’s about promoting self-awareness and personal growth. So let’s explore this together, shall we?
1) Your personal goals
We all have dreams and ambitions that set our souls on fire. Goals that we’re itching to achieve. It’s only natural to want to share these aspirations with the people around us, right?
Well, not so fast.
Interestingly, psychology suggests that broadcasting our goals might not be the best idea. Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
Here’s why.
When we openly share our goals, our brains get a rush of dopamine – the feel-good hormone – giving us a sense of satisfaction, as if we’ve already achieved what we set out to do. This premature sense of accomplishment can sap our motivation to work hard and make our dreams a reality.
In other words, keeping your goals to yourself can actually increase your chances of achieving them. Plus, it allows you to progress at your own pace, free from unnecessary external pressure or judgment.
It’s not about being secretive; it’s about being strategic. So next time you’re tempted to announce your big plans, take a pause and consider the psychological implications.
2) Your past resentments
We’ve all been there. An old grudge or a past resentment that clings to us like a shadow. We might think that venting about it will provide some relief, some semblance of closure.
I’ll let you in on a little secret from my own life.
A few years back, I held onto a grudge against a former colleague. I thought airing my grievances would soothe the sting. But every time I rehashed the story, it only served to reignite the anger and frustration. It felt like picking at an old wound, preventing it from healing.
Turns out, psychology backs this up.
Rehashing old resentments can keep us stuck in a loop of negativity, preventing us from moving forward. Instead of offering catharsis, it often amplifies the negative emotions associated with the incident.
So, consider keeping your past resentments to yourself. Let them stay where they belong – in the past. It’s not about suppressing your feelings, but about nurturing your emotional well-being and fostering personal growth.
We cannot change what has happened, but we can control how we react and move forward. And sometimes, that means letting go.
3) Your acts of kindness
Ever found yourself telling others about the good deeds you’ve done? Maybe you helped an elderly neighbor with groceries or picked up a piece of trash on your morning jog. It feels good to share these moments, doesn’t it?
I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but here’s a tidbit from psychology:
Publicizing our acts of kindness can dilute their value.
When we share our good deeds, it can unintentionally shift the focus from the act itself to our own image. It may even lead others to question our motives – was it really about helping out, or more about looking good?
The real magic of kindness lies in its anonymity, in that quiet sense of satisfaction we get from doing something good without expecting anything in return.
So consider keeping your acts of kindness to yourself. Not because they’re not worth sharing, but because their true value lies in the simple act of giving, not in the telling.
After all, genuine kindness doesn’t seek applause. It simply is.
4) Your financial status
Money. It’s a topic that can make even the most laid-back individuals a tad uncomfortable. Whether you’re rolling in the dough or barely scraping by, discussing your financial status can lead to uncomfortable dynamics.
But why is that?
According to psychology, money is often tied up with our sense of self-worth and societal status. Sharing financial details can create unnecessary comparison, envy, or even resentment.
Think about it.
Does your friend really need to know how much you paid for that new car? Does your co-worker need to know the size of your paycheck? More often than not, the answer is a resounding “no”.
By keeping your financial status to yourself, you’re not only maintaining your own privacy but also fostering healthier, less complicated relationships.
5) Your family drama
Family. We love them, but let’s be honest, they can also drive us up the wall at times. And when family drama ensues, it’s tempting to vent and share the details with friends or colleagues.
But here’s the rub.
Sharing family squabbles with others can actually exacerbate the situation rather than alleviate it. It opens up your private life for public scrutiny and judgement, creating more stress rather than relieving it.
Instead of alleviating tension, bringing in third parties can complicate things further and lead to more misunderstandings.
So keep the family drama within the family, where it can be resolved with love and understanding. It’s not about hiding the truth; it’s about respecting your family’s privacy and working towards resolution.
6) Your personal struggles
We all have our battles. Some days are harder than others, and during these times, it can feel like the world is caving in around us.
It’s during these moments that we might feel the urge to share our struggles with everyone around us, hoping for a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to lean on.
But here’s the catch.
While it’s absolutely okay to seek support, continually sharing our personal struggles can sometimes push people away. Not everyone is equipped to handle the weight of our problems, and that’s okay. We all have our own battles to fight.
Instead, consider leaning on trusted friends or family members who understand your journey. And remember, it’s always okay to seek professional help if your struggles become overwhelming.
By being selective with whom you share your struggles, you’re not only protecting your own mental health but also preserving the well-being of those around you.
Remember, it’s not about bottling up your feelings; it’s about finding healthy and constructive outlets for them. Everyone’s journey is different, and that’s perfectly okay.
7) Your deepest secrets
Everyone has secrets. They’re the parts of us that we keep tucked away from the world, the fragments of our identity that are uniquely ours.
Sharing your deepest secrets isn’t always beneficial. They can become a source of gossip, or worse, be used against you.
According to psychology, keeping certain things private doesn’t mean you’re dishonest or deceptive. It simply means you understand the value of boundaries and respect your own inner sanctum.
So, guard your secrets. Not out of fear or shame, but out of respect for yourself and your personal journey.
Remember, some things are better off kept to yourself. And that’s not just okay – it’s healthy.
Reflecting and moving forward
If you’ve recognized yourself in any of these seven points, don’t fret. This isn’t about labeling or judging, but about cultivating self-awareness and personal growth.
Remember, we all have tendencies that might not serve us well. The first step towards transformation is acknowledging them.
Start by observing your interactions and conversations. Notice when you’re on the verge of revealing one of these seven things. Question whether sharing it would truly serve you or the other person.
Consider this: Is it necessary? Is it kind? Does it honor my own boundaries?
It’s a process, and it won’t happen overnight. But with each small decision to protect your peace and personal space, you’re practicing self-care and self-respect.
As you tread this path, remember to be gentle with yourself. Growth is a journey, not a destination. You’re learning, evolving, and that’s something to be proud of.
So take a moment, reflect upon these insights, and carry them forward into your daily life. As you do, you’ll find yourself developing stronger, more authentic relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.
You might just discover a more confident and empowered version of you – one who can navigate the complexities of human interactions with grace, authenticity, and self-assuredness.
And remember – it’s okay to keep some things to yourself. That’s not being secretive; that’s simply being wise.
