Confidence isn’t just about how you feel—it’s about how you come across to others.
And sometimes, the way we speak can quietly undermine the confidence we’re trying to project.
I used to think confidence was all about body language, eye contact, and knowing my stuff. And while those things matter, I didn’t realize how much the words I chose were holding me back.
It turns out, certain phrases—ones we use all the time without thinking—can make us sound unsure, hesitant, or even apologetic when we don’t need to be.
And once I became aware of them, I started noticing them everywhere. In meetings. In emails. Even in casual conversations.
The good news? Small changes in the way we speak can have a huge impact on how others perceive us—and even on how we see ourselves.
Here are seven phrases to cut from your vocabulary if you want to sound more confident (and actually feel more confident, too).
1) “I think” or “I feel like”
These two little phrases might seem harmless, but they can make you sound unsure of yourself—even when you know exactly what you’re talking about.
When you start a statement with “I think” or “I feel like,” you’re subtly suggesting that what you’re about to say is just a personal opinion, rather than something you actually know to be true. It weakens your message before you even get to the point.
Compare these two sentences:
✔️ “This strategy will help us reach our goal faster.”
❌ “I think this strategy will help us reach our goal faster.”
Which one sounds more confident? The first one, right? Because it leaves no room for doubt.
Of course, there are times when it’s okay to express uncertainty. But if you’re constantly prefacing your statements with “I think” or “I feel like,” you might be undermining your own authority without realizing it.
Try dropping these phrases and just stating your point directly. You’ll sound more confident—and people will take you more seriously.
2) “Does that make sense?”
I used to say this all the time—at the end of presentations, in meetings, even in casual conversations. I thought I was being considerate, making sure the other person was following along.
But what I was really doing was casting doubt on my own words.
When you ask, “Does that make sense?” you’re suggesting that what you just said might not have been clear. It puts the responsibility on the listener to confirm your point instead of assuming that you communicated it effectively.
I remember leading a project meeting where I explained a new process we were rolling out. At the end, I asked, “Does that make sense?”—and immediately, I saw a shift in the room.
A few people hesitated before nodding, almost as if they were second-guessing their understanding.
When I swapped that phrase for something stronger, like “Let me know if you have any questions,” people engaged with more confidence because I wasn’t unintentionally implying that my explanation might have been unclear.
If you know you explained something well, trust that it made sense. And if someone does have a question, they’ll ask.
3) “Sorry to bother you”
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And yet, so many of us unknowingly give that consent by apologizing for simply existing.
I used to start emails with “Sorry to bother you, but…” or “I hate to take up your time, but…”—as if my request was an inconvenience before the other person even had a chance to decide for themselves.
But when you apologize unnecessarily, you shrink yourself. You signal that your needs, questions, or contributions are a disruption rather than something valuable.
Of course, if you’ve actually done something wrong, an apology is appropriate. But saying sorry just for speaking up or asking for help? That’s not confidence—that’s self-sabotage.
Instead of apologizing, try a direct and respectful approach:
✔️ “I appreciate your time. I wanted to ask…”
✔️ “When you have a moment, could you…”
You’re not a burden. You don’t need permission to take up space. Speak as if you believe that—because when you do, others will too.
4) “Just”
The word “just” might seem small and insignificant, but it has a way of minimizing whatever comes after it.
In fact, research shows that women tend to use the word “just” more often than men in professional settings.
It’s often used as a softener, but in reality, it makes a message sound less assertive, as if you’re seeking permission rather than stating something with confidence.
I caught myself doing this in emails all the time. “Just wanted to follow up,” “Just making sure you saw this.” When I started removing “just,” my messages felt stronger. Not pushy, not aggressive—just clear and direct.
✔️ “Following up to see if you had any thoughts on this.”
✔️ “Wanted to check in on the status of the project.”
One word might not seem like a big deal, but when you stop using it, you’ll notice the difference—not just in how others respond to you, but in how you feel about yourself.
5) “I’m not an expert, but…”
Confidence isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about trusting what you do know. But when you preface a statement with “I’m not an expert, but…” you immediately undercut your own credibility before you’ve even made your point.
I used to say this all the time, especially in group discussions where I felt a little out of my depth. It was my way of softening my opinion, just in case someone disagreed. But all it really did was make people take me less seriously.
The truth is, you don’t have to be an expert to contribute something valuable. Instead of downplaying yourself, try getting straight to the point:
✔️ “Based on my experience, I’d recommend…”
✔️ “One thing that’s worked for me is…”
If you’re in the conversation, you have something worth saying. Own it.
6) “I could be wrong, but…”
This phrase is like handing people a reason to doubt you before you’ve even finished your sentence.
Of course, nobody is right 100% of the time. But when you start with “I could be wrong, but…” you’re signaling that you don’t fully trust your own words. It makes whatever comes next sound less credible—even if you’re actually right.
I used to use this phrase as a safety net, a way to soften the impact in case someone disagreed with me. But I realized that all it did was make me sound unsure, even when I wasn’t.
Instead of undercutting yourself, try rewording it with more confidence:
✔️ “From what I understand…”
✔️ “The way I see it…”
Speaking with confidence doesn’t mean pretending to know everything—it just means standing behind what you say.
7) “I’ll try”
Saying “I’ll try” might seem harmless, but it creates an easy escape route before you’ve even started.
Think about the difference between these two statements:
✔️ “I’ll have that report to you by Friday.”
❌ “I’ll try to have that report to you by Friday.”
One signals commitment. The other leaves room for doubt. When you say “I’ll try,” it suggests hesitation, as if you’re not fully confident in your ability to follow through.
And the more you say it, the more you reinforce that mindset—not just to others, but to yourself.
Of course, not everything is within your control. But instead of “I’ll try,” say what you actually mean:
✔️ “I’ll do that.”
✔️ “That should be possible—if anything changes, I’ll let you know.”
Confidence isn’t about guaranteeing perfection—it’s about speaking with intention and standing behind your words.
The bottom line
The way we speak shapes how others see us—and how we see ourselves.
Confident communication isn’t about being the loudest in the room or having all the answers. It’s about trusting your words, expressing yourself clearly, and removing the subtle disclaimers that diminish your presence.
Start paying attention to the phrases you use. Notice when you soften your statements, apologize unnecessarily, or hedge your opinions. Small shifts in language can create big shifts in self-perception.
Confidence is built one conversation at a time. Each time you speak with clarity and certainty, you reinforce your own sense of self-assurance.
And over time, that confidence becomes second nature—not just in the way you speak, but in the way you show up in every aspect of life.
