Life has a funny way of making us feel like we’re falling behind.
We scroll through social media, see someone else’s highlight reel, and suddenly, our own progress feels small. We compare, we doubt, and we convince ourselves that we’re not quite where we “should” be.
But here’s the thing—what if you’re actually doing better than you think? What if the struggles, lessons, and experiences you’ve been through are signs that you’re ahead of the curve, not behind it?
Psychologists have studied what truly shapes resilience, growth, and success in life. And it turns out, certain experiences—especially the tough ones—are key indicators that you’re on the right track.
If you’ve lived through these eight experiences, you might just be doing better than the average person.
1) You have faced failure and kept going
Failure has a way of making us question everything. It shakes our confidence, makes us doubt our abilities, and sometimes even convinces us to stop trying.
But if you’ve failed—really failed—and still found a way to move forward, you’re doing better than most.
Resilience is one of the biggest predictors of success. The ability to take setbacks, learn from them, and push ahead isn’t just a skill—it’s a sign of real growth. Many people let failure define them, but if you’ve used it as fuel instead of a full stop, you’re already ahead.
The truth is, everyone stumbles. Not everyone gets back up.
2) You have walked away from something that wasn’t right for you
Pushing through failure is one thing, but knowing when to walk away is just as important.
I learned this the hard way in my first real job. I had convinced myself that success meant sticking it out no matter what, even though every day felt like I was forcing myself into a version of life that didn’t fit.
The stress started affecting my health, my relationships, and even my sense of who I was. But I kept telling myself that quitting would mean I failed.
The day I finally left was terrifying. I had no backup plan, no certainty about what came next. Just a deep understanding that staying would cost me more than leaving ever could.
Walking away from something—whether it’s a job, a relationship, or even an old version of yourself—takes an incredible amount of self-awareness and courage.
It’s not giving up; it’s choosing yourself over a situation that no longer serves you. And if you’ve done that, you’re stronger than you probably realize.
3) You have embraced discomfort to grow
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” It’s a simple idea, but most people spend their lives avoiding discomfort at all costs.
Growth never happens in the easy, familiar places. It happens when you step into the unknown, take risks, and challenge yourself in ways that make your heart race.
Whether it’s speaking up when your voice shakes, moving to a new city where you know no one, or pursuing a dream that others don’t understand—these moments define who you become.
People who seek discomfort as a way to learn and evolve tend to be more resilient, adaptable, and ultimately happier.
If you’ve willingly put yourself in situations that scared you but stretched you, you’re already ahead of those who stay within the limits of what feels safe.
4) You have had to rebuild yourself after a setback
The human brain is wired for survival, not happiness. When life knocks you down, your mind’s first instinct is to protect you—often by making you want to retreat, avoid risks, or stay where it feels safe.
But the people who thrive aren’t the ones who avoid hardship; they’re the ones who face it and rebuild themselves afterward.
Losing something important—a job, a relationship, a sense of identity—can feel like the ground has disappeared beneath you.
But if you’ve ever gone through that and managed to piece yourself back together, even when it felt impossible, you’ve done something most people struggle with.
Psychologists call this post-traumatic growth. It’s the ability to not just recover from difficulties but to come out stronger and more self-aware on the other side. If you’ve experienced a major setback and built yourself back up, you’re already ahead in ways that can’t be measured.
5) You have let go of the need for constant approval
At some point, you realize that no matter what you do, someone will have an opinion about it. And for a long time, that can feel suffocating—the need to be liked, to fit in, to make choices that won’t rock the boat too much.
But if you’ve reached a place where you no longer live for the approval of others, you’ve crossed a threshold that many never do. People who detach their self-worth from external validation tend to be more confident, independent, and mentally strong.
Of course, it’s not about ignoring feedback or shutting out the world. It’s about knowing that your value isn’t something that fluctuates based on who agrees with you or who understands your path.
If you’ve stopped shaping your life around what others expect and started living in a way that feels right for you, you’re already doing better than most.
6) You have learned to be alone without feeling lonely
There’s a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Some people fill every moment with noise, distractions, or other people because silence makes them uneasy.
But if you’ve reached a point where you can enjoy your own company—where solitude feels peaceful instead of empty—you’ve developed something many people struggle with their entire lives.
The ability to be alone without discomfort is a sign of emotional maturity and self-sufficiency. It means you’re not relying on constant validation or external distractions to feel whole.
It means you trust yourself enough to sit with your thoughts instead of running from them.
If you’ve ever taken yourself out to dinner, traveled solo, or simply spent time alone without needing to escape it, you’ve built a kind of inner strength that sets you apart.
7) You have chosen growth over comfort in your relationships
It’s easy to surround yourself with people who always agree with you, who never challenge you, who keep things comfortable.
But if you’ve ever had to let go of relationships that were holding you back—or put in the work to strengthen the ones that push you to be better—you’re already ahead of most.
Real connections aren’t just about familiarity or convenience. They require effort, honesty, and sometimes uncomfortable conversations.
Psychologists say that the people who grow the most in life are the ones who prioritize relationships that challenge them—inspiring mentors, friends who tell them the truth, partners who encourage their evolution.
If you’ve ever stepped away from friendships that drained you, worked through hard conversations instead of avoiding them, or surrounded yourself with people who push you to be more, you’ve made a choice that many are too afraid to make.
8) You have forgiven—not just others, but yourself
Forgiveness is often talked about as something we give to others, but the hardest kind of forgiveness is the kind we give ourselves.
Everyone has moments they wish they could undo—mistakes, missed opportunities, words they can’t take back. Some people carry that weight for years, letting it define them.
But if you’ve learned to let go of your past without letting it control your future, you’ve done something powerful.
Remember, self-forgiveness is essential for mental well-being. It allows you to move forward instead of staying trapped in regret. It teaches you that growth doesn’t come from punishing yourself indefinitely but from understanding, learning, and choosing to do better.
If you’ve reached a place where you can acknowledge your past without being consumed by it—if you’ve forgiven yourself the way you would forgive someone you love—you’ve unlocked something that many people never do.
Bottom line
If you’ve lived through these experiences, you’ve already built resilience, self-awareness, and strength in ways that many people never do.
Life isn’t measured by how effortlessly things go but by how you navigate the challenges.
People who grow the most aren’t the ones who avoid struggle—they’re the ones who face it, learn from it, and come out with a deeper understanding of themselves.
Growth doesn’t always look like success. Sometimes it looks like walking away, starting over, sitting with discomfort, or forgiving yourself for the past. These moments shape you far more than any external achievement ever could.
Honor your path. Your experiences have already made you stronger than you think.
