If someone nods at your stories, you know they’re listening. If they ask follow-up questions, you know they’re engaged.
Yet, mastering the art of conversation isn’t always a walk in the park. There’s the challenge of navigating the intricate dynamics of human interaction- a task that requires more than just a listening ear and nodding head.
However, some folks seem to have it all figured out. They’re the ones who always seem to say just the right thing at the right time, leaving us feeling heard, understood, and valued. How do they do it?
They usually use these 8 specific phrases.
Here’s a peek into the conversational arsenal of a great conversationalist. Short and sweet, yet so revealing. Stay with me as we delve into the world of words, where true authenticity shines and genuine connections are formed.
1) “Tell me more about that”
Conversations can be as unpredictable as a rollercoaster ride.
One minute you’re laughing at a joke, the next you’re deep in a thought-provoking discussion. All within the span of a few sentences.
But those who know how to steer the conversation, the great conversationalists, they have a secret weapon. A simple phrase that’s as powerful as it is inviting – “Tell me more about that.”
You see, when someone uses this phrase, they’re not just filling in gaps of silence. They’re actively showing interest and encouraging you to open up more about your thoughts and feelings.
It’s an invitation for you to dive deeper into your narrative, knowing there’s someone who genuinely wants to understand. It’s not just about keeping the conversation going; it’s about making it more meaningful, more personal.
And that’s what makes this phrase so powerful. It gives the other person the floor, allowing them to express themselves while simultaneously taking the conversation to new heights.
If you hear someone using this phrase often, you’ve probably stumbled upon a great conversationalist.
2) “I totally understand where you’re coming from”
I remember the first time I deeply understood the power of empathy in a conversation.
I was sharing some personal struggles with a friend, feeling quite vulnerable and apprehensive. And then, she said it – “I totally understand where you’re coming from.”
This phrase did not just add to the conversation; it completely changed its course. It made me feel seen, heard, and most importantly, understood.
Great conversationalists use this phrase often. It’s their way of acknowledging your perspective, showing that they’re not just passively listening but actively stepping into your shoes.
It’s more than just a response; it’s a bridge – a bridge that connects two people on an emotional level, fostering a deeper sense of shared understanding.
So, when you find someone who often says, “I totally understand where you’re coming from,” know that you’re in the presence of a conversational maestro.
3) “That’s an interesting point of view”
In ancient Greece, the art of conversation was highly revered. The Greeks believed that engaging in meaningful dialogue was one of the surest ways to gain wisdom and broaden one’s perspective.
Fast forward to today, and the phrase “That’s an interesting point of view” embodies this age-old practice.
Great conversationalists often use this phrase to express curiosity and openness to different ideas. It’s their way of acknowledging the uniqueness of your thoughts, validating your perspective, and encouraging further discussion.
It’s not a simple compliment; it’s a statement that elevates the conversation, making it a fertile ground for exchanging insights and expanding worldview.
So when someone regularly sprinkles “That’s an interesting point of view” into their conversations, it’s a good sign they’re not just good at talking. They’re great at conversing.
4) “How does that make you feel?”
Navigating the emotional landscape of a conversation can be like tiptoeing through a minefield. One wrong step, and everything could blow up.
But, the phrase “How does that make you feel?” is like a compass that helps in this navigation.
Great conversationalists use this phrase to delve beneath surface-level chatter and tap into the emotional core of the discussion. It’s not just about understanding the facts or details; it’s about connecting on an emotional level.
This phrase shows their genuine interest in your emotional state, an invitation for you to share your feelings openly and honestly.
If someone regularly asks you, “How does that make you feel?”, it’s a good chance they’re not just good at making small talk. They’re great at creating meaningful connections.
5) “I appreciate your honesty”
In my experience, the phrase “I appreciate your honesty” is like a breath of fresh air in a conversation.
It’s a phrase I often use to not only express gratitude for the other person’s openness but also to foster an atmosphere of trust and sincerity in our interaction.
Great conversationalists understand the value of honesty in any meaningful discussion. They know that conversations are not just about exchanging words; they’re about sharing pieces of ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, our truths.
When someone tells me, “I appreciate your honesty,” it feels like they’re acknowledging my courage to share something personal or difficult. It gives me the reassurance that my openness is valued and respected.
So if you hear this phrase often, know that you’re in the presence of a great conversationalist who values honesty and authenticity in their interactions.
6) “I don’t know”
It might seem strange to think that a phrase as simple as “I don’t know” can be a marker of a great conversationalist. After all, aren’t conversations about sharing knowledge and insights?
Well, yes and no.
Great conversationalists understand that admitting ignorance isn’t a weakness, but a strength. It shows humility, authenticity, and a willingness to learn.
The phrase “I don’t know” does not end the conversation; rather, it opens up new avenues of exploration. It invites the other person to share their knowledge, fostering a sense of mutual learning and growth.
So if someone isn’t afraid to say “I don’t know” during a conversation, it’s likely that they are not just good at talking. They’re great at listening, learning, and growing with you.
7) “What do you think?”
The phrase “What do you think?” is a secret tool in the conversationalist’s toolkit.
Great conversationalists use this phrase to shift the spotlight onto the other person, indicating that their thoughts and opinions are valued. It’s not just a question; it’s an invitation for the other person to share their unique perspective.
This phrase encourages open dialogue and promotes a balanced conversation where everyone feels heard and included.
If someone often asks you, “What do you think?”, it’s a good sign that they’re not just interested in talking. They’re interested in hearing your thoughts, your ideas, and your opinions, too. They’re great at fostering two-way communication, the heart of any meaningful conversation.
8) “Thank you for sharing”
The phrase “Thank you for sharing” is perhaps the most powerful phrase a great conversationalist can use.
It’s more than just a polite response; it’s an acknowledgment of the other person’s courage to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It’s a statement that communicates respect and appreciation for their openness.
This phrase reinforces trust, nurtures connection, and fosters a safe space where people feel comfortable to open up. It leaves the other person feeling heard, understood, and valued.
So if someone often expresses their gratitude for your sharing, rest assured that they’re not just good at conversation. They’re exceptional at creating an environment where meaningful dialogue thrives.
Reflecting on the art of conversation
If you’ve come this far, hopefully, you’ve caught a glimpse of what makes a good conversationalist truly great.
It’s not about being the smartest or the most eloquent speaker in the room. It’s about creating a space where people feel heard, understood, and valued.
These eight phrases are not just tools for effective communication; they are bridges to deeper understanding, stronger connections, and more meaningful interactions.
If someone regularly uses these phrases, they’re not just good at conversation. They’re exceptional at fostering a dialogue that leaves a lasting impact.
As the American author Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” But a great conversationalist? They listen with the intent to understand, and they speak with the intent to connect.
So next time you find yourself in a conversation, perhaps take a moment to reflect. Are you merely talking, or are you truly conversing?
