Today, I interview Larina Kase, who is a speaker and New York Times bestselling author. Today, the topic is conquering fear, rising to the occasion and obtaining leadership skills. It’s challenging to break yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things, especially when it’s in our DNA. Larina is going to explain how you can do it, starting today.
Larina, why are people so afraid of change and how can they conquer this fear?
Fear of change is hardwired into our DNA. To our ancestors, change meant the prospect of starvation and death. Change also requires an expenditure of energy and time, and most of us don’t feel that we have much of those to spare.
Think about Newton’s first law—a body at rest stays at rest and a body in motion stays in motion. The only way to change what we’re currently doing is by adding a new force (typically in the form of an action), and we fear what this new force will cost us in terms of resources (time, energy, money).
We also fear how others will react to change, and rightly so. Most people resist change, even positive change. We live in systems and when we alter something about our behavior, we typically get a response from others, which is not always a good one.
The way to conquer fear of change entails a combination of our thoughts and actions. The thought to ask ourselves is best in the form of questions:
- What am I truly afraid of? What do I feel is the worst thing that could happen?
- How likely is this worst fear to occur?
- If it did occur (which is unlikely) how would I handle it?
“With fear, we overestimate the likelihood of something horrible happening and underestimate our ability to handle it.“
These questions help you to see how unlikely the feared result is, and that you could indeed handle it. The actions to take begin with a small step in the direction of change. To break inertia, we need to start moving, but we don’t want to push ourselves too far or fast or we’ll resist the change and get stuck.
Is everyone capable of being a great leader? Why or why not?
Everyone is capable of being a great leader in some aspect of their life, either leading themselves or others. If you’re going to lead others, you must first be a great leader of yourself—it’s a prerequisite.
In terms of leading others, I think that about one quarter of leadership ability is natural and the rest is learned.
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Inherent or inborn characteristics of great leadership include qualities like thought process (great leaders are often “big picture” people rather than data-driven types, which helps them to create and communicate a powerful vision), and the personality traits openness and conscientiousness. Contrary to popular belief, research has not shown the personality trait of extroversion to correlate with great leaders (not all great leaders are extroverts).
Qualities that can be learned if someone has the interest and desire include the emotional intelligence factors that are so important to leadership—things like self awareness, empathy, confidence, communication, influence, and being a catalyst for change.
What are some common characteristics of great leaders?
Great leaders positively influence others. Two of the most important features of influence are empathy and communication. Empathy is the ability to understand the thoughts and feelings of others. Without empathy, people feel that you don’t get them and resist your influence. With empathy, people feel heard and understood and in alignment with you.
When people are empathic, they naturally communicate well. This is because empathic people mirror the body language and emotions of others, which creates a synchronicity.
Communication skills are made up of nonverbal (body language, tone of voice, etc.) and verbal (what you say) behaviors. Your nonverbal are most important, and through training everyone can improve their nonverbal communication.
What do Seth Godin and Tim Sanders have to say about how to become a great leader?
I had the good fortunate to interview Seth Godin, Tim Sanders, and five other innovative thinkers for The Confident Leader, and interestingly, all of their interviews had a similar theme:
“That we must push our own limits, act consistently with our values and passion, and forge ahead even in the face of setbacks.”
- Seth Godin clearly values innovation and sharing ideas with as many people as they are meant to help. All his work is consistent with this theme.
- Tim Sanders believes strongly that true leaders bring their values to work and base everything they do on responsibility to making the world a better place.
I enjoyed how all the authors shared their experiences and theories on moving beyond what’s comfortable, as this is what’s necessary for change. Another bestselling author I interviewed for the book, productivity expert David Allen, said something I found profound, “You’re as organized as you need to be to take on the comfort zone that you’re willing to tolerate.” Even our levels of organization are designed to keep us within (or break us through) our comfort zones.
How have you built your own brand into a well-known author, speaker and coach?
When I started out I did not know exactly what I wanted my platform to be or how I’d share my message. I began by becoming clear on the heart of my message, based on my knowledge and passion. I realized that it’s about helping work through all of the obstacles that stand of the way of what they want most (building thriving companies). Most of the obstacles are internal and related to fears.
For me, I’ve found the most reward when I’ve accomplished something that I feared or doubted my abilities to do, and I knew this is what I wanted to help others experience. My background in the research and treatment of anxiety and confidence-building was a great fit so the puzzle pieces came together. I don’t think you can have a strong platform without both expertise and passion for your topic.
Once I got clear on my message I started to think about how to best deliver it. I looked at my natural strengths (written and verbal communication and maximizing the performance of others) and the methods became clear: writing, speaking, coaching. Then it simply became creating the intention of what I wanted and doing everything possible to make it happen. Writing is my true passion so I focused all of my energy on getting my first book deal, and that set my platform in motion.
Of course image and all of those things go into branding, but I think most important being clear on your message and sharing it with everyone who can benefit from it. One of the best ways to share your message is by partnering with others who have a similar mission and audience but different angle from you.
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Larina Kase, PsyD, MBA is a professional speaker, author, and recognized expert in peak performance, anxiety and stress management, leadership, and entrepreneurship.
Dr. Kase has a doctorate in psychology and masters in business administration, and her unique approach is regularly seen in media such as Inc., Entrepreneur, SELF and on national TV and radio. She is the author or coauthor of 7 books including The New York Times bestseller The Confident Speaker. Her latest book is called “The Confident Leader.” She has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs and executives from companies such as Verizon, Intel, Morgan Stanley, & Ernst & Young.
