Women who struggle to lower their emotional barriers often develop certain behaviors as a way to protect themselves.
These behaviors are not a reflection of their lack of care or strength, but rather coping mechanisms shaped by past experiences.
This article explores 8 common traits in women who find it difficult to let their guard down emotionally, shedding light on the internal struggles they face and offering a deeper understanding of their actions.
1) They avoid emotional closeness
When it comes to women struggling with emotional barriers, the first behavior that often comes to light is their avoidance of emotional closeness.
Does she often seem distant or aloof in emotionally charged situations?
This could be her attempt to protect herself from the vulnerability that comes with emotional intimacy.
She might have past experiences of pain or betrayal that make her wary of letting someone in.
This isn’t about you. It’s about her internal struggle and her subconscious attempt to avoid potential emotional harm.
Understanding this behavior can be challenging.
You might feel rejected or pushed away.
With patience, empathy and open communication, you can help her feel safe to lower these walls over time.
2) They’re overly independent
Ironically, some women who struggle with emotional barriers may appear to be the epitome of strength and independence.
They take charge, handle everything themselves, and rarely ask for help.
This might seem like a positive trait at first glance, but it’s often a defensive mechanism.
By doing everything on their own, they avoid relying on others emotionally.
They control their environment to protect themselves from potential emotional disappointments.
While it’s admirable to be self-reliant, taking it to an extreme could be a sign of an underlying fear of vulnerability and emotional dependence.
It’s important to understand that this behavior isn’t about denying your support.
It’s about her need for self-protection.
3) They use humor as a defense mechanism
Humor is something we often associate with joy and happiness.
However, in the realm of emotional barriers, humor can sometimes serve a different purpose.
Women who find it difficult to lower their walls may use humor to deflect serious conversations or emotional discussions.
They might crack a joke or change the topic when things get too real or personal.
This behavior is known as deflection, a psychological strategy used to avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions or situations.
What’s happening here is that humor acts as their shield, helping them to maintain distance from their own feelings and from getting too close to others emotionally.
Being aware of this behavior can help you spot those moments when humor is used as a shield rather than an expression of joy.
4) They struggle with accepting compliments
A simple compliment can lift spirits and bring smiles.
However, for women battling emotional barriers, accepting compliments can be a real struggle.
When you compliment them, they might brush it off, change the subject, or even respond with a self-deprecating comment.
This isn’t because they’re trying to be modest. It’s often a sign of their discomfort with positive attention and an inability to see their own value.
It can be disheartening to see someone you care about unable to acknowledge their own worth.
Keep in mind, it’s not about your compliment being unappreciated.
It’s about the emotional walls that make it hard for her to accept positivity about herself.
Offering compliments regularly and gently encouraging her to accept them can help.
Over time, this can contribute towards breaking down her emotional barriers and improving her self-esteem.
5) They’re often perfectionists
We’ve all had those moments where we push ourselves to get everything just right.
For women struggling with emotional barriers, this can be a constant reality.
They may set high standards for themselves and others.
They might spend extra hours perfecting a task or worry excessively about making mistakes.
This perfectionism isn’t just about having high standards, though.
It’s often a way to maintain control and avoid criticism or disappointment.
We’ve all felt the pressure to be perfect at times, but for these women, it’s an emotional armor they wear to protect themselves.
Understanding this can help you better support her.
Encourage her to embrace imperfections and remind her that it’s okay to make mistakes.
This can help her slowly dismantle the emotional walls she has built up.
6) They avoid expressing negative emotions
I once knew a woman who was always the life of the party. She was cheerful, always positive, and never seemed to have a bad day.
Yet, beneath that sunny exterior was an emotional barrier she had built up.
Like her, many women with emotional barriers tend to suppress their negative emotions.
They might hide feelings of sadness, anger, or fear, choosing instead to present a cheerful front.
This isn’t about pretending; it’s about protecting themselves from potential judgment or conflict.
If you notice her brushing off negative emotions or insisting she’s fine when she’s clearly not, it could be a sign of an emotional barrier.
7) They’re guarded about their past
If there’s one common thread among women who struggle with emotional barriers, it’s a tendency to keep their past under wraps.
They might avoid discussing past relationships, childhood experiences, or any events that have caused emotional pain.
This isn’t about hiding secrets or being mysterious.
It’s about fear – fear of being judged, fear of reliving painful memories, fear of revealing too much and getting hurt again.
While it’s important to respect her boundaries, it’s equally crucial not to enable this behavior.
8) They’re resilient and strong
It’s easy to focus on the challenges and difficulties that come with emotional barriers.
But there’s one thing that stands out about these women: their resilience.
Despite their struggles, they show up.
They face the world with courage, even when they’re fighting battles within.
Their emotional barriers don’t make them weak; in fact, they signify a strength that often goes unnoticed.
Understanding these behaviors is not about judging or changing her.
It’s about offering support, patience, and empathy.
It’s about helping her see that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength.
Final thoughts
The behaviors displayed by women with emotional barriers are rooted in self-protection and past experiences.
While these traits can sometimes create distance, they also reflect a deep strength and resilience.
By approaching these individuals with patience and empathy, we can help them feel supported in overcoming these barriers, making it possible for them to gradually open up and build deeper, more trusting connections.
