Growing up, my dad often said, “A little encouragement goes a long way.”
Indeed, a few words of praise here or an approving nod there can work wonders on a child’s self-esteem. It fuels their drive to explore, learn, and grow into confident adults.
But what happens when that supportive environment is lacking?
Let’s face it.
Some of us weren’t so fortunate. We grew up with little to no encouragement—a reality that, unbeknownst to many, leaves its mark well into adulthood.
With this in mind, we delve into the question: “What behaviors do adults who were rarely encouraged as children often display?”
I’ve identified seven such behaviors. Understanding them may just be the key to unlocking your true potential and building a personal brand that resonates with authenticity and growth.
So, if you’ve ever asked yourself “Why am I like this?” or “Why do I react this way?”, read on. You might just find some answers—and hopefully, a way forward.
1) Difficulty accepting compliments
Here’s a thing.
Have you ever noticed how you react when someone compliments you? If you’re someone who shrugs off praise or feels uncomfortable when complimented, this could be a sign.
You see, for those who grew up without much encouragement, compliments can feel foreign—almost as if they’re undeserved. They may brush them off or downplay their achievements, unable to fully embrace the positive feedback.
But here’s the silver lining.
Recognizing this tendency is the first step towards change. It paves the way for fostering self-acceptance and learning to celebrate your wins, no matter how small they may seem.
And gradually, you’ll start to see a shift in your personal brand, one that is more accepting of praise and confident in its worth.
2) Fear of taking risks
Now let’s talk about risk-taking.
Take it from me, growing up without much encouragement can often lead to a fear of taking risks in adulthood. I’ve been there.
I remember being hesitant to apply for a leadership role at a community event, fearful of the potential failure. The thought of stepping outside my comfort zone without guaranteed success was daunting.
But here’s what I learned.
Every risk, every chance we take, even if it doesn’t end in success, is an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s about embracing the unknown and understanding that failures are stepping stones to success.
So next time you’re presented with a risk, think about it as an opportunity. An opportunity to grow, learn and ultimately, enhance your personal brand.
3) Struggle with self-worth
Ever find yourself in a room full of people and still feel alone?
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but those of us who weren’t encouraged much as youngsters might wrestle with our sense of self-worth. It can feel like we’re on the outside looking in, questioning our value and wondering if we’re good enough.
Like that time in college when I was asked to speak at a symposium. Despite my knowledge and preparation, I constantly questioned if I was worthy of being on that stage. I doubted if my thoughts and ideas carried any weight.
But here’s the breakthrough.
Realizing that your worth is not determined by external validation is a game-changer. It’s about understanding that you are enough just as you are.
And once you start believing in yourself, you’ll see a transformation in your personal brand. It begins to radiate self-assuredness and authenticity, making it all the more compelling.
4) Overcompensation through perfectionism
Have you ever found yourself striving for perfection in everything you do?
Well, you’re not alone.
Often, those of us who didn’t get much encouragement growing up attempt to compensate by becoming perfectionists. We feel the need to prove ourselves by doing everything flawlessly, hoping it will attract the praise we long for.
I used to spend hours poring over a single task, obsessing over the smallest details. I was convinced that anything less than perfect was unacceptable.
But here’s the reality check.
Perfection is an illusion. It’s about progress, not perfection. Recognizing this can ease the pressure and contribute to healthier self-perceptions. It allows you to focus on personal growth and authenticity, crucial elements in building an impactful personal brand.
5) Tendency to self-isolate
Get this.
According to a study by the American Psychological Association, individuals who lacked encouragement in their formative years might develop a tendency to self-isolate. It’s a coping mechanism – a way to protect ourselves from perceived criticism or rejection.
Remember those lunch breaks spent alone in the office or choosing a night in over social events? It’s not about being anti-social; it’s more about creating a safe space, free from potential judgment.
But here’s the catch.
While it’s necessary to have some alone time, excessive isolation can hinder personal growth. Embracing social interactions allows us to learn from others and build meaningful relationships, essential ingredients for a robust personal brand.
Step out of your comfort zone, invite a colleague for coffee, join that club or organization – and watch your personal brand flourish.
6) Reluctance to ask for help
You know, it’s okay to ask for help.
Yet, for those of us who grew up without much encouragement, reaching out can feel like admitting defeat. We fear that asking for assistance might make us appear weak or incompetent.
I used to struggle with this too – trying to juggle everything on my own, convinced that asking for help was a sign of failure.
But here’s a gentle reminder.
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to your strength. It shows you’re aware of your limitations and are willing to learn and grow.
And in the journey of personal branding, these traits—humility, openness, and resilience—are invaluable. So reach out when you need to. It’s okay. Really.
7) Harsh self-criticism
The most crucial thing to understand?
Those who lacked encouragement during their early years often become their harshest critics. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and berate ourselves when we fail to meet them.
It’s like having a constant, nagging voice in the back of your head, persistently pointing out your mistakes and shortcomings.
Recognize it for what it is—a byproduct of your past, not a reflection of your potential. The journey to building a powerful personal brand starts with silencing this inner critic and replacing it with compassionate self-talk.
It’s about learning to be kinder to yourself and understanding that you’re a work in progress—and that’s perfectly okay.
Embracing your journey
So, you’ve recognized some of these behaviors in yourself. It might feel uncomfortable, even daunting.
But remember, this understanding is not a burden—it’s an opportunity.
Realizing these patterns is the first step towards transformation. It’s about shifting your perspective, making peace with your past, and forging a path towards self-growth and authenticity.
Start by acknowledging these behaviors. Notice when they surface, but instead of criticizing yourself, show kindness. You’re not defined by the lack of encouragement you received growing up. Your potential isn’t limited by it.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process, one that requires patience, commitment, and self-love.
Each time you catch yourself doubting your worth or shying away from praise, pause. Remind yourself of your inherent value. Celebrate your accomplishments, however small they may seem.
In doing so, you’ll give yourself the encouragement you needed all those years ago. And slowly but surely, you’ll start to see a shift in your personal brand—one that reflects self-awareness, authenticity, and growth.
