I used to think that intolerance was always loud and obvious—people shouting their opinions, refusing to engage with different perspectives, or openly dismissing others based on appearance.
But the truth is, it’s often more subtle than that.
Intolerance can show up in everyday interactions, shaping the way we listen (or don’t), the way we respond to differences, and even the people we choose to surround ourselves with.
And here’s the tricky part: many people who are intolerant don’t even realize it.
If you’ve ever wondered what makes someone closed off to those who think or look different from them, here are seven traits that tend to stand in the way of openness, connection, and personal growth.
1) They refuse to listen to different perspectives
Ever had a conversation with someone who shuts down the moment they hear an opinion that doesn’t match their own?
Instead of asking questions or trying to understand, they dismiss, interrupt, or change the subject entirely.
This isn’t just about disagreement—it’s about an unwillingness to even consider another point of view.
When someone refuses to listen, they create an echo chamber where only their beliefs are reinforced. And over time, this makes them even more resistant to new ideas, different cultures, and diverse ways of thinking.
True openness starts with listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
2) They make quick judgments about others
I used to work with someone who, within minutes of meeting a new person, would already have them figured out—at least in their mind.
If someone dressed a certain way, spoke with a particular accent, or held an opinion they didn’t agree with, they would immediately decide what kind of person they were. And once that judgment was made, there was no changing it.
I remember introducing them to a friend of mine once. After just one brief exchange, they pulled me aside and said, “I can already tell we won’t get along.”
The thing is, they never gave my friend a chance. They never got to see their sense of humor, their kindness, or the depth of their experiences.
People who are quick to judge rarely pause to ask themselves if their assumptions are fair—or if they’re missing out on some incredible connections because of them.
3) They see differences as a threat
Some people don’t just notice differences—they feel unsettled by them.
A new way of thinking? A different way of dressing? A belief system they don’t share? Instead of curiosity, their first reaction is discomfort. And that discomfort quickly turns into resistance.
They convince themselves that their way is the right way, and anything outside of that feels like a challenge to their identity. So instead of engaging, they push back. They mock. They exclude.
But here’s the truth: Difference isn’t a threat. It’s an opportunity—to learn, to grow, to see the world through a lens you’ve never considered before.
The people who understand this build bridges. The ones who don’t? They build walls.
4) They surround themselves only with people who think like them
If everyone in your circle looks like you, thinks like you, and agrees with everything you say, it might feel comfortable—but it’s also limiting.
People who are intolerant tend to stick to what’s familiar. They avoid conversations that challenge their beliefs and distance themselves from those with different perspectives.
Over time, this reinforces the idea that their way of thinking is the only valid one.
The problem? Growth doesn’t happen in an echo chamber.
When you only engage with people who mirror your views, you miss out on the chance to expand your understanding, challenge your assumptions, and develop real empathy.
Diversity—in thought, background, and experience—isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s something to seek out.
5) They believe changing their mind is a weakness
For some people, admitting they were wrong feels impossible.
Once they’ve formed an opinion—about a person, a culture, or an idea—they hold onto it tightly, no matter what new information comes their way.
Changing their mind? That would mean admitting they didn’t have it all figured out from the start.
But here’s something to think about: The human brain processes around 70,000 thoughts a day. With that much information running through our minds, isn’t it natural that some of our beliefs might need updating?
People who are truly open-minded understand that growth means evolving. The ones who refuse to budge? They stay stuck in the same patterns, never realizing how much more there is to see and understand.
6) They assume different means ‘wrong’
Not everyone was raised the same way. Not everyone has had the same experiences, the same influences, or the same opportunities.
Yet, some people look at those who live, think, or believe differently and immediately assume they must be misguided—or worse, completely wrong.
But what if, instead of judging, we paused to consider why someone sees the world the way they do? What if we recognized that their perspective is shaped by a life we haven’t lived?
Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing with everything. It just means accepting that our way isn’t the only way—and that there’s always more to learn about people beyond what we see on the surface.
7) They let fear drive their opinions
Fear has a way of making people cling to what feels safe and familiar.
It tells them that anything different is dangerous. That change is a threat. That opening up to new perspectives might mean losing a part of themselves.
But fear isn’t truth. It’s just a feeling—one that can be challenged, questioned, and overcome.
The people who refuse to do that stay stuck, letting fear shape their worldview instead of curiosity, understanding, or growth.
The bottom line
Intolerance isn’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes, it hides in the way we judge too quickly, resist new perspectives, or let fear shape our beliefs.
But the good news? These patterns aren’t permanent.
Awareness is the first step. When we start noticing where we shut others out, we create space to change. We can choose to listen instead of dismiss.
To question our assumptions instead of clinging to them. To see differences as something to learn from, not something to fear.
Psychologists have found that exposure to diverse perspectives increases empathy and critical thinking. The more we engage with people who challenge our worldview, the more we expand our understanding—not just of others, but of ourselves.
Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones. It happens when we step beyond them, willing to see the world through a wider lens.
