If someone says, “I’m always here for you”, you’re inclined to believe they’re a good friend. If they tell you, “I totally understand”, you think they get you.
But let’s face it, not everyone who talks the talk, walks the walk.
Especially when it comes to friendship. There are people out there masquerading as your mate, using certain phrases that seem supportive but are anything but.
In this article, I’m going to dissect 8 phrases often used by these fake friends. Stick around, you might just find it enlightening. After all, authentic relationships are a crucial part of your personal growth and self-awareness journey. And ensuring they truly reflect who you are, is a key step towards unlocking your full potential.
1) “I’m always here for you”
Ever heard this one before?
It’s a phrase that seems to be drenched in support and care. It’s what we want to hear from real friends, right?
But here’s the catch. Fake friends often use this line as a go-to, especially when things are tough for you.
They want to seem like they’re your rock, your shoulder to lean on. But when push comes to shove, they’re nowhere to be found.
Actions speak louder than words. It’s easy to say “I’m always here for you”, but it’s harder to actually be there when needed.
Authenticity isn’t just about what you say, it’s about what you do — consistently.
Whenever someone tells you they’re “always here for you”, take a moment to check if their actions align with their words.
2) “You’re like family to me”
This one hits close to home. I remember a so-called friend who loved to drop this line often. “You’re like family to me,” she’d say, her voice laced with warmth and affection.
It felt good to hear. It made me feel special, cherished.
But over time, I started noticing the cracks in her facade.
Her actions didn’t match up with her words. She’d cancel plans at the last minute, she was always too busy when I needed a listening ear and she’d often forget important things I’d shared with her.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but I realized that her words were just that – words.
She wasn’t treating me like family; she was using the phrase as a cheap way to keep me close without investing any real effort or care into our friendship.
That’s when I learned that anyone can say, “You’re like family to me”, but it takes a true friend to treat you like one.
3) “I never talk about you behind your back”
Now, this phrase is an interesting one. It has a veneer of loyalty and trustworthiness, but it’s often employed by fake friends to gain your confidence.
People are more likely to talk about someone behind their back if they care about them.
It’s a form of social bonding that helps individuals establish common ground and mutual understanding.
In light of this, the phrase “I never talk about you behind your back” can be seen more as a red flag than a sign of loyalty.
Genuine friends might talk about you when you’re not around, but it’s usually in a positive or concerned light, not in a malicious or derogatory manner.
If someone uses this phrase, it might be worth taking with a pinch of skepticism.
4) “I totally understand”
This phrase is a classic. The problem with it? It’s often used insincerely.
Fake friends tend to use “I totally understand” as a shortcut to empathy. It’s an easy way to appear sympathetic and caring without actually delving into what you’re going through.
True empathy involves active listening, asking questions, and genuinely trying to put oneself in the other person’s shoes.
It takes time and effort, and unfortunately, fake friends aren’t willing to invest that.
When someone quickly jumps to “I totally understand” without really engaging with your situation, it might be a sign they’re not as genuine as they’re making out to be.
5) “I didn’t want to tell you this but…”
This one’s a real doozy. I’ve heard it more times than I can count, and it never fails to put me on high alert.
“I didn’t want to tell you this but…” is typically followed by some form of gossip or negative information about someone else.
On the surface, it might seem like the person is trying to be honest with you. But in reality, they’re often just stirring the pot.
In my experience, this phrase is a classic manipulation tactic used by fake friends to create drama and keep you hooked.
It’s a clear signal that they might not have your best interests at heart.
Next time someone starts a sentence with “I didn’t want to tell you this but…”, I’d advise taking a step back and considering their motives. It might save you a lot of unnecessary drama.
6) “You can trust me”
Trust is the bedrock of any meaningful relationship. But here’s the twist – genuine trust is shown, not told.
When someone consistently feels the need to reassure you that “you can trust me”, it could ironically be a sign that they’re not as trustworthy as they claim.
True friends don’t need to remind you of their trustworthiness.
They demonstrate it through their actions, their reliability, and their honesty. They show up when you need them, they keep your secrets, and they remain loyal even in difficult times.
Next time someone insists “you can trust me”, take a moment to observe their actions. Do they match their words? If not, it might be time to reassess the friendship.
7) “I’m just being honest”
Honesty is a virtue, no doubt. But when it’s used as a shield to deliver hurtful comments or unnecessary criticism, it’s a different story.
“I’m just being honest” is a phrase that fake friends often use to justify their negative remarks.
They hide behind it, using it as an excuse to dish out harsh words under the guise of truth-telling.
True friends are those who can speak the truth in love, offering constructive criticism when necessary and always considering your feelings. They don’t use honesty as a weapon, but as a tool for growth and betterment.
Next time you hear “I’m just being honest”, take it with a grain of caution. It could be a sign of a friend not being as real as they claim.
8) “No one understands you like I do”
This is perhaps one of the most manipulative phrases a fake friend can use. It’s designed to make you feel special, unique, and understood.
But more often than not, it’s a tactic used to isolate you and make you overly dependent on them.
Real friends certainly strive to understand you.
But they also encourage you to maintain a diverse social circle, knowing that different people can offer different perspectives and enrich your life in unique ways.
If someone continues to insist that “no one understands you like I do”, it might be a sign they’re trying to control or manipulate your friendship.
It’s a red flag, and something you should be aware of. Be vigilant, stand your ground, and never let anyone monopolize your companionship.
Parting thoughts
If you’ve stayed with me this far, you’ll likely have realized that genuine friendships aren’t about grand words and lofty promises. They’re about authenticity, consistency, and mutual respect.
It’s crucial to remember that people may not always be what they seem on the surface.
Some might use carefully crafted phrases to give the illusion of friendship, but their actions, or lack thereof, often tell a different story.
As George Washington once said, “True friendship is a plant of slow growth.”
It requires time, patience and nurturing. It can’t be hurried or forced through flattering words or hollow assurances.
Next time you encounter any of these phrases, take a minute to reflect on the intent behind them.
Look beyond the words and observe the actions.
Because in the end, it’s not what people say but what they do that truly defines the nature of their friendship.
Your personal growth and self-awareness journey is too important to be derailed by insincere companionships.
Surround yourself with people who reflect your values, challenge you positively and help you grow.
After all, we are known by the company we keep. So choose wisely.
